


At Your Service

by velocitygrass



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Master/Servant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-05
Updated: 2012-10-05
Packaged: 2017-11-15 17:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 60,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/529752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velocitygrass/pseuds/velocitygrass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every relationship between a master and his body servant is different. Body servants take care of the house, assist their master's work, or even provide sexual services in some cases. But falling in love is unheard of for them, and through the years, John Sheppard and his master, Rodney McKay, struggle with the roles that the strict rules of Atlantia impose on them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Book I: The Academy

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [At Your Service (the mix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/535072) by [verity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/verity/pseuds/verity). 
  * Inspired by [Illustrations for 'At Your Service'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/527703) by [mific](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mific/pseuds/mific). 



> Thank you so much to my beta readers, Wanted a Pony and Mific, who made the fic so much better.
> 
> Some content notes: Mention of non-con (not the main characters). The fic deals with servitude, which includes sexual services in some cases. While John enjoys this, others don't feel the same and this is mentioned in passing. There is a brief scene and other mentions of John giving oral sex to original male characters as part of his sexual training for Rodney. Callous treatment of servants that leads to the death (of John's mother). John briefly recalls a suicide he witnessed when he was younger. The sexual training begins after body servants in training are chosen at age 16. There is explicit sex between John and Rodney and John solo sex while they are under 18.

John had been prepared for this moment all his life, but he still wasn't ready for it.

Living at the Academy was considered a privilege for a servant, though John didn't always see it like that. There were strict rules about what they weren't allowed to do and the chores they had to perform, and breaking the rules resulted in punishment. John had sometimes wondered if he wouldn't have preferred life as a kitchen hand. At the Academy they were given an education and they were safe from the whims of a master, but the price they paid for that privilege was the uncertainty of this day and how it would change his future.

Pre-Selection was a time-honored ritual in Atlantia. It marked the passage from boyhood to young manhood. Every male Atlantean went to Pre-Selection after his sixteenth birthday to select a body servant who would stay with him when he left his home at age eighteen until he was married by age twenty-one.

In the two years before a new body servant took over the care of his master's household, the servant was specifically trained to meet his master's particular needs—including sexual needs if his master so wished.

It wasn't the sex that John was worried about on this day. Even though it was forbidden, John wasn't completely inexperienced sexually. There'd been two other body servants in training with whom he had tested the pleasures they could achieve by the touch of their hands, and unlike some, the idea of having sex with another man didn't bother him.

But like everyone else he'd heard the stories of what happened to body servants if they were unlucky. It was forbidden to kill or permanently harm body servants, and beatings were frowned upon, but nobody would think to ask after a body servant if he wasn't seen or heard of for a week or even a month.

The truth was that there was very little that a body servant could do if his master abused him. John could handle punishment, even the formal corporal punishment that he'd received for disobedience, but at least at the Academy there were rules that he could choose to follow or not. Once he was in his new master's household he'd be entirely at his mercy, and John had already vowed to flee Atlantia and risk death rather than remain with someone who mistreated him.

He still had two years of training ahead of him, during which he would remain in the relative safety of the Academy, but today a master would choose him and John would get his first glimpse of the kind of person his new master was.

John didn't dare to hope for more than someone who'd at least not harm him.

~~

The Great Hall was so polished that you could see your reflection in the marble walls and floors. John and others had spent days getting it to this state before they were dismissed to prepare themselves for this day.

The body servants in training had different approaches to Pre-Selection, and since John didn't prepare himself in a particular way, he had time to watch the others.

Some tried to make themselves look especially attractive. They oiled their bodies and styled their hair and shaved carefully, unless they'd started to grow a beard as a sign of virility.

John was mostly amused by their attempts. One of the prerequisites for being chosen for the Academy was above-average looks, so he wasn't sure how successful this strategy was. More than that he feared that a well-oiled, well-styled body servant in training wouldn't necessarily attract the right kind of master.

Not that John presumed to know what the others wanted in that regard.

He knew that most hoped for a master who wasn't interested in being sexually serviced and who would treat them with respect. The sexual component of a body servant/master relationship was often only experimentation for the master. In many cases, there was no sex at all.

Other body servants in training looked forward to finally having sex without fear of punishment—and some had very specific sexual tastes that they hoped would be fulfilled by the right master.

A few tried to make themselves look as uninteresting or untidy as they could, hoping to avoid being chosen by a master altogether. If you weren't chosen by anyone by the age of seventeen, you were placed in normal service with a family or business.

John wouldn't mind that, himself. Like all the other body servants in training he was not only attractive but also intelligent, which in his case included an aptitude for numbers. He was the best in his math class and could imagine doing accounting for a store or something similar, which would afford him a relatively easy life for a servant.

However, John didn't count on not being chosen. He wasn't vain, but even in the relatively sheltered life at the Academy he'd seen people react to him. He only hoped that his looks wouldn't attract exactly the wrong kind of master.

He'd soon enough have his answer to that, he thought, as they all filed out into the Great Hall where the future masters were waiting.

John didn't look at anyone in particular—he didn't want to attract attention from anyone. But a quick scan of the room showed young men scattered around, some standing with their fathers and some with other young men who were also here to select body servants.

Some looked excited, some embarrassed, some uncomfortable, some calm. One young man was sitting on one of the marble benches, writing furiously in a notebook. John smiled inwardly. The writer didn't even look as if he had noticed that they had been brought in. John wasn't sure whether to envy or admire that he didn't seem to care.

He didn't dwell further on it, though, as a shy looking young man with red hair and freckles stepped up to him.

"Hello," the redhead said. "You're John Sheppard, right? You're on my short-list." Then he flushed.

A smile tugged on the corner of John's mouth. "Hi," he said, trying to seem friendly. It was hard to tell from a short conversation, but the young man seemed like someone who wouldn't abuse his powers. And he was pretty cute too.

Other young men approached them and the redhead stepped aside, but didn't move away.

John hoped he'd stay. The others who came close looked at him as if he were an object in a market stall before moving on to the next. The inhumanity of belonging to someone else was one of the things he hated about his existence. He didn't want to be the possession of someone who wouldn't even look him in the eye.

An older red-haired man approached them. "James. Don't you want to look at the others on your list?" he asked the young red-head who'd stayed at John's side.

"Father, I think I've made my choice, if nobody else steps up," James said.

James' father looked surprised and gave John a quick once-over. He turned back to his son. "We can ask the supervisor if you're sure."

James quickly glanced at John, who smiled encouragingly at him. "Yes, I'm sure."

"I don't think so." A dark-haired young man approached John, leering as he let his gaze travel over John's body. "Father! This is the one I want," he shouted to the other end of the room.

John looked at James for help because the other guy was giving him a really bad feeling. But unfortunately James seemed quite intimidated and only looked helplessly at his father.

An annoyed-looking man came over and addressed the dark-haired young man, who appeared to be his son. "I thought you liked the _other_ one?"

"No, this one's better," the young man said with a greedy side-glance at John.

John shuddered. He looked at James and his father. The older man spoke up, addressing the father of the creepy young guy. "Ah, Mr. Berenson, my son has also set his sights on this body servant. In fact he hasn't looked at anyone else."

"Do you hear that, Drake? Why don't you at least finish looking around," Berenson suggested to his son.

Drake's eyes narrowed. "I want this one," he said, stressing every word. "Can I try him out now?" he asked, looking down John's body until his gaze stopped at John's crotch.

John's eyes widened. It wasn't uncommon to go into a separate room to look each other over more closely. He was prepared to get undressed if asked, but it wasn't usual to have sex on Pre-Selection Day and he really, really didn't want the beating he was going to get when he punched Drake in the face for trying.

"James?" his father prompted the redhead.

James looked from John to Drake, who glared menacingly. Mr. Berenson rolled his eyes at his son but didn't do anything to stop him. Unfortunately, it was enough to scare James away.

"I, uhm, if he _really_ wants John—" he began.

"Yes, I do. I really do," Drake said, giving John another leer.

"Then I suppose I can take a look at the others on my list," James said. He gave John a sad look and moved away.

John tried not to be angry with him. He didn't know the history between James and Drake and their families, nor their relative power in Atlantia. He didn't want to judge James without knowing more, but he certainly felt disappointed that James hadn't even tried to fight for him.

John felt sick at the thought of becoming Drake's body servant. If that happened he was definitely going to run away before Drake ever got his hands on him. He hoped that he could catch the eye of at least one of the other young men, but they all walked quickly past John once Drake gave them a menacing look.

When no other young men showed an interest in John, Mr. Berenson looked for the supervisor to officially register John as his son's body servant.

John hoped that maybe James would return, but looking around he saw James smiling at another body servant in training. John tried not to feel betrayed. Scanning the room, he saw that all the future masters stood with a body servant in training now, though there seemed to be a few cases where more than one master was interested in the same body servant.

And actually John wasn't quite correct. Not everyone had found a match. He noticed that the young man on the bench was still scribbling away, completely oblivious to what was going on around him.

John hoped against all hope that someone would alert him that he'd have to make his pick, and that if he saw John and wasn't intimidated by Drake...

Which were really more ifs than John could hope for. He didn't know anything about his new master but nobody seemed to want to oppose Drake or perhaps his family, so John had no reason to believe the guy on the bench would be different.

The supervisor came over to them with his notes. "Master Drake has made his choice?" he asked. "Oh, John Sheppard. One of our most promising students. Is there no one else who took an interest in you, John?"

"No," Drake said gruffly, glaring at the supervisor. "He's mine."

"Right," the supervisor said. He opened his notebook, his expression suddenly becoming surprised. "Oh," he said.

"What?" Drake asked impatiently.

"It appears that someone has already registered John for his body servant," the supervisor said.

John's heart skipped a beat. Maybe there was hope yet. Maybe James had changed his mind and tried to claim him without directly confronting Drake. Though he didn't think Drake would let him go without a fight.

"Who?" Drake demanded.

"The request is by Rodney McKay," the supervisor said.

"Dr. Andrew McKay's son?" Berenson asked.

"Father! There's nobody else here. You cannot register a body servant in absentia," Drake said.

"You are right, of course," the supervisor said. "Let me ask my assistant. I didn't log this request myself."

He left, and Drake turned to his father. "I don't care whose son he is. I want this one."

"Let's wait and see," Berenson said.

"I will not wait and see!" Drake shouted, making a few of the others close by turn to them. "This one's mine!"

"Well, apparently not," Berenson said. "We'll see what Dr. McKay's son has to say on the matter."

Drake growled in frustration, but his father wasn't impressed.

The supervisor returned with an assistant in tow. "It appears that Rodney McKay asked for the best in the math class before the official selection began."

"Math?!" Drake said incredulously.

Berenson gave John a quick glance, looking vaguely impressed. Then he turned back to the supervisor. "Can we talk to the young man? If I understand correctly, registrations are not final until all disputes are resolved. He cannot have left already."

"No," the assistant said. "Master Rodney is still here." He turned and looked over at the guy on the bench.

Yes! John only just managed not to make a fist-pump of joy. Then he silently started praying that his new master—please, please, let it be him and not Drake—wouldn't be intimidated by Drake.

The assistant went to fetch the young man. He glared when he was interrupted, made a few more notes, then got up and came over to them.

"He's mine, McKay," Drake said. "If you want someone to do _math_ for you, pick someone else."

"Drake," Berenson said with warning in his voice.

"Oh, good. For a second, I thought you were the one, but then I remembered that they weed out the ugly," Rodney said disparagingly. "And for your information, unlike others, I don't need anyone to do math for me."

Drake clenched his hands into fists, but John couldn't hide a grin. He had a feeling that his new master wasn't easily cowed.

Rodney turned to him, and when their eyes met, John could see the arrogance in the blue eyes turn to momentary surprise. "You're pretty," Rodney blurted out.

John felt himself flush at the compliment. He never flushed.

"Father?" Drake demanded.

"Master Rodney," Berenson addressed Rodney politely. "As you might have noticed, my son has also taken an interest in John."

"He's been loud enough about it," Rodney said. "I registered John as soon as I got here. We've had profiles of all candidates for weeks. Can't your son read?"

"You bastard," Drake fumed. He looked like he was about to strangle Rodney, so John stepped up between them, looking at Drake with narrowed eyes. Drake shoved at him. "Get out of my way, slave!"

"Drake!" his father said sternly, while the supervisor and assistant exchanged looks of displeasure. For some reason the word slave was frowned upon, though John didn't know how his situation was different from slavery. "That's enough. You'll go find someone else. There are enough candidates left."

"Father!" Drake said.

"This one would be wasted on you, and we all know it," Berenson said. "I'm not going to force Dr. McKay to come here and discuss this. You'll find what you want elsewhere. Master Rodney will get the one who does math. Besides, it seems very obvious that John knows whom he would prefer as master."

John was momentarily taken aback that anyone would consider _his_ feelings on the matter for even a second.

Berenson nodded to him and the others and dragged his protesting son away.

"What a pest," Rodney said. "Is this dispute settled then? Can you confirm my official registration for John?" he asked the supervisor.

"I'm afraid we cannot make any registrations official until all registration conflicts are resolved."

Rodney sighed. "Then can I go back to work, at least?"

"Of course," the supervisor said. "I hope we will have all outstanding issues resolved soon."

The officials left them alone and John looked at Rodney, unsure of what to say or if there was anything appropriate to say at all.

"I'll go back to work," Rodney informed him. "Come with me and I can give you my first set of instructions." He went back to the bench and retrieved several sheets of paper. He thrust them into John's hands, then sat down and opened his notebook again to work.

John quickly scanned his instructions, finding an academic schedule which included advanced physics classes that weren't even offered at the Academy. Rodney had scribbled them in, with an instructor's name that he'd never heard of.

All non-scientific classes were marked as optional. Under household duties Rodney had written, "Keep us clean and fed. House only needs to be clean enough that my father (and sister) won't complain. Three meals a day. No citrus anywhere!" He'd underlined the last sentence three times. 

On the next pages, Rodney went into the details of John's scientific instruction. He had lists of books that would be sent to John for him to study. He'd outlined which chapters in particular to look into and which to ignore because the authors were idiots.

John only skimmed over these detailed notes. He'd have to wait for Rodney's books and look at the theories that Rodney wanted him to learn. There were even exercises for him to do. "Please send these to me as soon as possible so that I can determine the next steps," Rodney had noted.

It seemed John would be more of an apprentice scientist than a body servant. He wasn't exactly sure what Rodney planned on having him do other than keeping up with household chores. And so far there'd been nothing about Rodney's wishes regarding John's training in sexual matters.

John turned to the last page where, after a few more paragraphs on his curriculum, there was a line: "Sex: Decision not made. Instructions, if any, will be specified after we meet."

John looked up from the notes, only to catch Rodney looking at him over the edge of his notebook. Rodney flushed for a moment, then lifted his chin and snapped his fingers, reaching for the notes. John handed them to him. Rodney made a few changes on the last page and handed them back, turning to his own notebook again.

The last line now read: "Sex: Instructions will be specified in an upcoming letter. Suggestions welcome."

John looked back to Rodney. He didn't look up from his notebook, but he didn't seem to actually be reading or writing anything and his cheeks were red. "Any questions?" he asked, without looking at John.

"Not for the moment. Or, actually..." John hesitated.

Rodney did look up at him then. His face looked guarded. "You would have preferred something else in the last line?"

"Oh, no!" John said immediately. Then he felt himself flush at the implication. He wouldn't have had a problem with having sex with any master who respected him. But he had to admit that, with Rodney, he was looking forward to the opportunity. Despite that fact, he didn't want to seem over-eager. He appreciated that Rodney wasn't just interested in his body, which led to what he wanted to ask. "I was wondering what you want me to do with my scientific training."

"Oh, that," Rodney said, visibly relieved. "I could use an assistant. My father won't allow me to get one until I start working in his labs, and he won't allow me to do that until I get married. You can help me with my projects and clean up my manuscripts. How's your penmanship? Did I put that on the list? If not, put it on there."

"I'll keep it in mind," John assured him.

"Good," Rodney said. "This is really just the beginning," he added, waving at the instructions in John's hand. "Once I've been able to evaluate what you're capable of, we'll proceed from there."

"All right," John said. He found himself not wanting to disappoint Rodney.

A bell rang and everyone turned to the supervisor, who stood in the middle of the Great Hall. "I am pleased to announce that all disputes have been resolved and every master has found a suitable body servant." Behind the supervisor, John could see Drake staring daggers at Rodney and grumbling. He was standing next to one of the well-oiled candidates. "This marks the official end of Pre-Selection. Your body servants in training will eagerly await instructions and other correspondence beginning tomorrow."

"Finally," Rodney said.

John smirked. He wondered what life with Rodney would be like.

Rodney turned to him. "I, uh, guess that's it for now. Send me those exercises as soon as possible."

"I will," John promised.

"I'll follow up with more instructions about your curriculum. And, uh, other things." Rodney flushed and dropped his gaze.

John felt something weird going on his stomach. He smiled at Rodney. "I'll be waiting."

Rodney looked at him and smiled back. "We'll see each other in a year for Confirmation."

"I'm looking forward to it," John said.

Rodney nodded, then stuck out his hand.

John shook it. They stood like that, hands still clasped until Rodney cleared his throat.

"Gotta go. Much work to do. See you." He hesitantly pulled his hand away as if he didn't really want to go, then turned and left, looking back once more before disappearing through the door.

John waited until he was gone. That was it. He officially had a master now. He hadn't just escaped ending up with Drake, he'd found the person he would have picked if it had been his choice.

After years of general preparation, he was ready to train for his master. And even though he wouldn't have expected it, he was actually looking forward to both the training and his service under Rodney.

~~

The usually quiet dormitories were full of chatter that afternoon. Though the Academy was run with strict schedules, on this day the body servants in training were free to discuss their new masters or begin training for them if they wanted.

John went over Rodney's instructions again, taking notes on what he should study specifically. Even though he didn't pay particular attention to the others he heard and saw their different reactions.

There was relief, disappointment, anger, fear, and occasional smugness. The well-oiled body servant chosen by Drake told everyone how rich the Berensons were. Apparently his training for his new master would be only of the sexual kind. John wondered if he knew that he hadn't been Drake's first choice. Not that John regretted ending up with Rodney. He _definitely_ didn't.

The very rich families could afford to send one or more servants to the new masters' households, so their body servants were sometimes more companion than servant and had no actual work to do. Some of his peers were very eager to be chosen for such a household, so the wealth of their future masters was very important to them.

If Drake's body servant was one of those, John was happy for him. His own priorities were different.

John didn't mind working in the kitchen or even doing latrine duty. It wasn't fun, but someone had to do it, and he didn't think he was above such work. And if he had to choose between handling the household of a master who was smart and wanted John for his intellect or being a piece of meat for Drake or someone like him, he'd choose Rodney any day.

Not that choice entered into the equation for anyone here.

John was lucky, and he knew it. He remembered how afraid he had been earlier in the day, and he could see fear in the eyes of those who didn't get what they wanted. Their only option now was to leave and become a regular servant, but that rarely meant an easier life and always included the risk that they'd get another owner who'd mistreat them. He felt sympathy for the unlucky ones, but there was nothing he could do about it. He wasn't close to any of them. He'd learned early in his life that friendship was a privilege that servants didn't have in this society.

He'd been separated from his childhood friends when he'd been chosen for the Academy, and during his time here he'd seen many leave because they couldn't handle the punishments or couldn't keep up with their lessons.

The departures became more infrequent as time went on, but John was under no illusions that he could form lasting friendships here. There was no telling how much freedom their new masters would allow them, and once their masters married they could be sent away.

Relationships were something servants could only engage in if their owners permitted. No law gave them this power, but the fact that they could sell servants or re-assign them at a moment's notice made it so in reality if not in writing.

It was as inhumane as much of their existence, but John was not one to dwell on injustice when he couldn't change it. Sometimes when he couldn't stand it he broke some rules, but it was with the full understanding that he would be punished if they found out.

That was the extent of his freedom, and even if Rodney promised to be a better master than Drake would be, John knew that he would still be a servant.

He only hoped that Rodney would not abuse his power.

~~

John compiled a preliminary schedule for his lessons that night. Since Rodney was going to send him books to study in addition to the mandatory science classes, John would try to keep his lesson time as free as possible. The Academy offered dozens of courses on maintaining a household but Rodney's first set of instructions made it quite clear where his priorities lay, so the only optional training John chose was cooking. It was something he enjoyed, and even if Rodney didn't have any particular wishes, John was sure he'd prefer a tasty meal to something barely edible.

He went to bed early that night, looking forward to Rodney's letter the next day.

As it turned out, though, mail was distributed at the leisure of the Academy servant who was assigned the task, and he told John that he'd be informed when it was ready.

John decided to run for a bit and train with some weights. He was on the skinny side and trying to build some muscle. It was never a bad idea to be able to defend yourself. With Rodney, thankfully, it didn't look like he'd need it, but John still had two years at the Academy. Fighting between body servants in training was not a rare occurrence though it was, of course, strictly forbidden.

After training he tried to peek into the mail room, where the servant only narrowed his eyes when he saw John. So John shuffled away and decided to get his gardening chore for the day done. He didn't mind being outside or pulling weeds but sometimes it could get very hot in the garden, so it helped to do it earlier in the day.

He was almost done when he finally heard that the mail was about to be distributed. John quickly finished off the last weeds and cleaned up before arriving at the mail room, which was packed with body servants in training eagerly waiting for their first mail from their new masters.

John had never gotten any mail, so he had no idea if it would always be this busy. Probably not.

One name after another was called. There were small packages and larger ones, sometimes only a letter. One lucky body servant in training got a basket full of fruits and pastries from his future master. Some of the mail for the body servants in training were paintings of their new master or his family. One body servant even got a life-size bust of his master, causing a bit of teasing—though John thought that some of that was envy.

John wouldn't mind having a portrait to remind him of Rodney's sharp blue eyes and the peculiar slant of his mouth. But mostly, he was anxious for the books Rodney had promised to send. He wanted to know if he would disappoint Rodney or live up to his expectations.

To John's frustration, however, every name called was someone else's. Most people stayed, curious about what others got. Drake's body servant in training immediately unwrapped what turned out to be a monstrous dildo. He wasn't the only one who got a dildo, though from what John had heard from older body servants in training, the dildos were usually crafted to approximate the girth and length of the cock of their masters. Seeing the dildo Drake sent, John had to suppress laughter; no way in hell was this based on Drake's size. John was pretty damn sure he would have noticed if Drake had such a huge cock when he bumped into him, when John stepped between him and Rodney. John only chuckled to himself. At least Drake's body servant would have fun training for him.

John's main focus was still on the books, even though he wouldn't mind if Rodney sent him a dildo. He was getting impatient as the number of body servants without any mail kept dwindling.

"Okay, that's it," the mail servant finally declared. John was about to protest that he hadn't gotten his mail yet when the servant pointed at him. "Come with me," he said, sounding exasperated.

John followed the man into a small chamber off to the side.

"This is from Master Rodney," the man said. "I'd appreciate it if you could get this to your room in a timely fashion. Do it yourself or find help. I want to lock up before noon."

John quickly nodded, taking in the bundles upon bundles of books. Rodney was definitely serious about his education.

~~

After getting all the books into his room with the help of a few of his peers, who'd looked vaguely horrified at the sight of the library that Rodney had sent, John began going through Rodney's more detailed instructions.

When he opened the first book on the list, he found a short letter from Rodney. It reiterated that John should send him the solution to Rodney's first exercise as soon as he was done with it. He also clarified the reason for the no citrus rule: Rodney was deathly allergic to the fruits. John made a mental note to avoid any and all citrus in his cooking. If he learned to do it now, he wouldn't have to adjust later when he cooked for Rodney. Finally, Rodney ended with instructions for his sexual training.

"I would appreciate it if you learned how to pleasure me with your mouth and hands."

A shudder went through John at the thought. He'd never sucked another man's cock, but he didn't mind the thought at all. Finally, he had not just permission but instructions to do it. Though John noted the way Rodney phrased it—as a request. John had the feeling that if he were uncomfortable with the idea, Rodney wouldn't insist, and that made something in his heart clench. The scope of the decisions that he could make was so narrow that every bit of freedom offered to him seemed like a great gift, especially because it was something he knew he had no right to.

He only needed to recall some of the faces of his peers when they'd been sent a dildo. He wondered how many of them would rather work in the fields or mines than go through with this.

But others weren't his concern now. There was nothing he could do for them anyway. Instead, John amended his curriculum to include some sexual training. Then he started reading the first book so he could return Rodney's first exercise as soon as possible.

~~

The first week after Pre-Selection was incredibly busy for John. He wanted to get through Rodney's exercises as fast as possible, so he spent every waking moment that wasn't otherwise scheduled reading and working on them.

He tried to squeeze in his morning run at least, and of course he still had to do his chores. He was informed that his advanced physics teacher worked in the McKay Laboratories, which Rodney's family owned, and would come as soon as Rodney had determined John's specific lesson plan. That gave John a few more hours, but he was still very busy, his head full of numbers and the laws of physics, the only distraction being his Academy lessons and chores.

His first sexual training session was a semi-success.

Sexual training wasn't instruction as much as simple practice. Atlantean men volunteered to be sexually serviced by body servants in training. Obviously, sex with body servants in training who had only just been chosen wasn't expected to be all that great, since they could only have any kind of experience if they'd engaged in sexual activities despite strict rules against it.

However the service didn't cost anything and there were always enough volunteers.

Before his first time John tried to suck on some vegetables in preparation, but he'd been too busy to spend much time getting used to it. In his first training session he concentrated on technique. He undid the guy's pants and tried to suck on his dick without choking on it. He quickly realized that he really, really needed to work on his gag reflex and that his jaw wasn't happy about keeping his mouth open for so long. When the guy finally came John quickly pulled away, spitting out what little come had gotten in his mouth. The guy seemed reasonably satisfied. "Not bad for your first time," he said.

John only nodded and left, his mind already on the exercise that he wanted to finish today and send to Rodney.

~~

At the end of the week, John got feedback from Rodney on his first exercise. He made a few suggestions but overall he was very pleased. So pleased, in fact, that he scheduled John's first lesson with his advanced physics teacher and told John to skip a few of the other exercises.

John preened with pride when he got the letter. He knew that many of his peers thought he'd gotten the dirty end of the stick. While others were learning the ropes of their master's family business—either to perform the duties in the future or to assist their master's training—none had to go through the rigorous training planned for John. And in most cases, body servants in training for the family business weren't expected to perform household duties or sexual services on top of that.

But John was happy that he was up to the challenge. After finishing the first exercises, things calmed down a bit for him. He still had many books to read, but the teacher for his advanced physics lessons only had limited time for him, a fact that Rodney complained about vigorously in the letters he sent John.

They regularly exchanged letters. John outlined his progress and sometimes asked Rodney for feedback. Over time John learned that Rodney welcomed critical thinking. One time he wrote, "Yes, yes, yes, you're exactly right!" when John questioned a particular passage in one of the books that Rodney had sent him. From then on John commented on contradictions or outdated sections in books, simply to read Rodney's replies when he colorfully agreed and expanded on just how very, very wrong these people were.

They started writing about other things too. Rodney mentioned a book that was apparently popular in Atlantia at the moment. When John pointed out that the library at the Academy was limited and he couldn't order anything, Rodney sent him the book in question and a few others.

From then on Rodney's packages always contained at least one book that wasn't for John's scientific training. He had a particular fondness for science fiction and tearing apart its inconsistencies with real science.

Rodney never asked after John's progress in his sexual training. After some time of concentrating only on the technical aspects, John got so good at it that he elicited quite vocal responses from the volunteers he serviced. John found that beyond wanting to be good at it in order not to disappoint Rodney, he _liked_ sucking a guy's cock. He loved making it good for them, and experimenting with how fast he could make them come or how long he could keep them on the edge. He felt a sense of power and control that was otherwise lacking in his life. And then, there was a certain emotional component.

John didn't know the guys that he jerked off and blew, but sometimes he closed his eyes and imagined that the cock in his mouth was Rodney's instead of a stranger's. There was something special about imagining doing this with Rodney, and on those occasions John sometimes got hard. John never climaxed in his encounters with the Atlantean volunteers. Some had offered to touch him or even to reciprocate, but John always declined. He was training to make this good for Rodney. Being touched and sucked would be for himself, and some part of him wanted that to remain Rodney's only.

Sexual training could take many forms. Some masters sent detailed instructions on exercises and positions. Some wanted their body servants to practice with volunteers, while others instructed them to use only their own hands and sex toys they were sent.

Those instructions weren't always followed, of course. John knew a few of his peers regularly fucked each other. He'd heard talk about how good it was and he had to admit he was a bit curious, but at the same time he didn't want to betray Rodney's trust. Rodney had asked him specifically to train for hand jobs and blow jobs, so that was what he did. The only thing that he allowed himself beyond that was masturbating. He was pretty certain that Rodney wouldn't mind, especially considering that John always thought about Rodney when he did it.

John had only seen him once but he still remembered Rodney's arrogance when he had dressed Drake down, the flush on his cheeks when he'd decided that he would want to have sex with John, and his eyes when he'd called John pretty. Rodney's exact features were getting a bit dim in his memory, though.

After wishing more than once for a painting of Rodney to remind him of his master, John decided simply to ask.

Rodney had told him early on to ask if he needed anything. Unlike some of his peers John was pretty undemanding, so he rarely took Rodney up on the offer. When he asked for tools like a compass and a simple lens system for his scientific curriculum, Rodney sent him a full-blown telescope. But John had never asked for anything personal.

He was a bit nervous about making this request, and he sincerely hoped that Rodney wouldn't think John was being stupid. Rodney derided anything useless, and this certainly wasn't anything that John needed for his studies. John didn't offer any reasons for his request. In his next letter he simply added, "Would you mind sending me a portrait of yourself?"

After making the request, John waited nervously for Rodney's answer. It seemed to take forever though it was really only two days, not unusual for a response from Rodney. However, his letter didn't even mention John's request but focused on other topics.

John sighed to himself. He was relieved that Rodney hadn't ridiculed him, but also disappointed that his wish hadn't been granted. However, this was Rodney, and John could clearly imagine that he'd never had the patience to sit down to have his portrait painted. At least John could still fantasize about Rodney, not to mention actually see him again in a few months.

~~

Confirmation took place one year after Pre-Selection.

The future masters visited their body servants in training to check up on them and their progress in person. Unlike the first meeting it was common for the majority of the visit to take place in the body servant's room, giving him and his future master some privacy.

Some masters and their body servants used the opportunity to put into practice the sexual training that the body servant had undergone. Drake's body servant in training talked about little else. He bragged how Drake was going to fuck him six ways to Sunday.

He wasn't the only one who looked forward to having sex with his master. Others feared the day, getting pale just thinking about it. John had seen how some of the guys had been after their sexual training sessions—he'd walked past doors that didn't quite muffle the sobs completely. But he couldn't afford to let it get to him. He could offer neither help nor hope.

One of the body servants had left them after getting instructions on his sexual training. From one day to the next he was gone. John hoped being a regular servant offered him the freedom he needed.

Their options in life were so limited. He'd learned that very early in his Academy training. He'd gone to get his gardening chores done before breakfast and witnessed two Academy servants removing the body of one the older body servants in training who had hanged himself from a balcony over the courtyard. John had sworn to himself on that day that he'd never be like that. He'd run away and fight to the death before he took his own life.

Then Rodney had chosen him and John's uncertain future suddenly had an element of hope, though John was well aware that there were no guarantees in life. Confirmation required masters to appear in person and confirm the selection they had made a year earlier at Pre-Selection. For the most part it was a formality, but masters did sometimes change their minds. In addition, in rare cases, a young Atlantean married as soon as he left his home and no longer needed his body servant in training. Impending fatherhood was the usual reason for such marriages, and it meant that the new household would already have house servants under the supervision of the lady of the house.

Rodney had never once written about women in a romantic or sexual way. He'd only mentioned a few female scientists—still a rarity, though less so in recent years—and his sister. But then, Rodney had also never mentioned John's sexual training again, and John had no reason to assume he'd changed his mind about it. Maybe it was simply the general nervousness at the Academy among those of John's age that made John slightly apprehensive.

His academic training had gone quite well. Dr. Frederickson of the McKay Laboratories was impressed with his progress. John was no longer taking math classes at the Academy because he'd learned everything the teacher had to teach him. But Rodney wasn't easy to satisfy. He had high expectations of John, and every time John met his expectations he set higher goals until, inevitably, John was forced to disappoint him. As much as he studied he was not as good in the subject matter as Rodney, who seemed to breathe science like air.

John hated every time he got something wrong or didn't understand a concept, but he also knew that he had to get used to it because Rodney would always be a few steps ahead of him. It was okay. Rodney never made a big deal out of it, but it was one of the things that John thought about when he overheard others wondering if their master would confirm them.

~~

Three weeks before Confirmation Day, John started making plans.

He wanted to surprise Rodney with a lunch he cooked himself, which meant he had to make an official request well in advance. The kitchen would need to stock the ingredients he needed and schedule a time for him to use some of the equipment to cook.

He'd also worked diligently on an advanced math problem that Dr. Frederickson had introduced him to. He wanted to present the solution to Rodney when he could actually _see_ his reaction.

If he was honest about it, a great part of his nervousness was simply seeing Rodney again in person. They'd only had a very short time together at Pre-Selection, and most of that hadn't even been spent interacting with each other. They'd been strangers—ones who might have taken an instant liking to each other, but still strangers.

Now, he had pages upon pages of correspondence he'd exchanged with Rodney, bringing them so much closer together. He'd read stories about Rodney's childhood, his family, his plans for changing the future of Atlantia through science. He knew that Rodney liked to tease, that his honesty was brutal but heartfelt, that his impatience was surpassed by his intolerance for stupidity. Though, to be fair, he'd gotten hints of that even at Pre-Selection.

John and Rodney had been strangers back then, and now they were...John didn't really have a word for it. It sometimes felt like friendship when Rodney recommended a book to him, suggesting that John might like it because it contained "some silly monsters". It felt like colleagues when Rodney corresponded about a project and asked John for input. And when John lay in bed at night, thinking about blowing Rodney and making him call out John's name, it felt like something else altogether.

But at the same time, John could and would never forget that he was Rodney's body servant in training. He'd heard stories of body servants who'd forged deep friendships with their masters and even one tale of love, which he didn't quite trust because it seemed too much like legend. But most of those stories had a common theme: in the end, the master chose a wife and the body servant was sent elsewhere. Not always, of course. Some body servants remained in their masters' service for the rest of their lives. Even those who became general house servants or worked in the family business sometimes remained close to their masters. But when a master became a husband and father, the life he'd previously led with only his body servant as companion was irreversibly changed.

However he and Rodney fashioned their relationship, John was going to keep in mind that it would change in a few years. At the end of the day, he was a slave and Rodney was his owner.

~~

A few days after requesting permission to prepare a special lunch on Confirmation Day, John was called into the mail room. He was always happy to get mail from Rodney but this time there was a package as well, and from its size it wasn't a book.

John quickly took it to his room and ripped open the packaging, gasping when he found a portrait of Rodney looking at him with a slightly arrogant expression. John had to grin. Rodney had granted his request, and the particular pose seemed so fitting to John that he affectionately stroked Rodney's painted image.

He pulled his hand away, flushing at his own silliness, and then read the letter that accompanied the painting.

"John,

"A few weeks ago you requested a portrait of me. Unfortunately—or rather, fortunately—I've been able to evade attempts by my father or sister to have my portrait painted in the last couple of years. I do not see why either of them need an image of me when they can see me every day.

"You, however, have a legitimate reason to ask for my portrait, so I had one made as soon as time permitted. I admit that I very much look forward to seeing you again at Confirmation. I seem to recall rather ridiculous hair, and that I could understand why Berenson—the idiot—had taken such a fancy to you."

He went on to talk about other things, but John only skimmed over the rest of the letter before setting the portrait against the wall beside his bed. He slid under the bedcovers and slipped a hand into his underwear, around his cock.

Rodney's letter was nothing compared to the graphic details in the sexual instructions some of the other masters sent their body servants in training. There was nothing sexual in it at all. Hell, Rodney didn't even explicitly mention his feelings about John's looks and body—except for the dig at John's hair—but still, reading that one line brought back the surprise in Rodney's eyes when he'd first looked at John and called him pretty.

It brought back how Rodney had flushed and communicated his desire to have sex with John by promising to send instructions. Now he had a painting of Rodney with his slanted mouth and blue eyes—the first time in almost a year that John could see him in a way. Combined with months of sexual fantasies that centered around Rodney, the little reminder that Rodney was attracted to him was enough to make John hard and panting with want.

He stroked his cock, looking at the painting and imagining what it would be like when he could finally suck Rodney's cock. He wanted to pleasure him and be pleasured. He wanted to show Rodney that his sexual training had progressed as well as his scientific studies. In fact, he'd gotten so good at it that it bored him. The only excitement he felt at this point was when he imagined Rodney instead of a nameless stranger. Bringing off the Atlantean volunteers was no longer a challenge and it also didn't give him satisfaction any longer to have that bit of power over them.

He wanted _Rodney_ to shout out and lose control, not other men. He wanted Rodney to praise him and touch him. He wanted Rodney to flush and call him pretty again without conscious thought.

John came rather quickly, Rodney's words and visual reminder stimulating him even more than his usual fantasies.

Afterwards he lay panting in bed and looked at Rodney's face, which seemed smug now that John thought about it. Not unjustifiably so, John figured.

~~

The excitement over Confirmation Day became almost unbearable in the last days leading up to it. It seemed that everywhere, someone was running or shouting or wringing their hands over something or other.

There were those who desperately searched for the gifts and portraits that they'd carelessly thrown aside after receiving them. Some tried to make up for a year of slacking in their training, going over books and shouting at others to help them. Others tried to dress up their rooms or their own bodies to impress their masters.

John tried to ignore everything around him, concentrating on getting his proof in presentable form. In addition he kept nagging the kitchen, trying to make sure they hadn't forgotten his request, and going through Rodney's letters again, just in case he'd forgotten something.

The day before Confirmation he saw Drake's body servant in training walking around like a peacock, displaying his freshly waxed chest. John had no intention of removing hair on any part of his body other than his face unless Rodney asked him to. However, looking at himself in the mirror, he recalled Rodney's teasing mention of his hair.

John decided to try and tame it a bit, but that was easier said than done. Neither pomade nor wax did the trick. Errant strands refused to stay down, making him look ridiculous. When he got to the point of seriously considering trying glue, John admitted defeat and decided to leave it as it was. After all, Rodney had found him pretty despite his hair.

The night before Confirmation John mentally went through his proof again, certain that Rodney would question him about it. He also went over the cooking process for the meal he was going to prepare for Rodney. Once there was nothing left to do but sleep, he turned to Rodney's portrait, which was barely visible in the faint moonlight.

John had masturbated thinking about Rodney before his mental preparation. He did it every night, and sometimes during the day too when he got a new letter from Rodney. Rodney hadn't talked about what he wanted to do during Confirmation. In fact, he hadn't mentioned it at all, beyond saying that he was looking forward to seeing John again.

John, for his part, had thanked Rodney for the portrait and written that he was looking forward to seeing Rodney too. He'd also told Rodney not to eat beforehand, without going into the details of his lunch surprise. But other than that, their correspondence had been the normal back and forth. His excitement had come from his peers and the anticipation of seeing Rodney again, and maybe touching.

John tried not to hope for more than talking. Rodney's focus had always been on science—from the fact that he'd chosen John for his math skills to the books he sent and the arranged teacher. Rodney could write pages discussing a new theory or invention. If John had been someone different, Rodney might not have wanted sex as part of his service at all.

Chances were that Rodney would spend the afternoon asking questions and drifting off into deep discussions about some topic or another, and John was truly looking forward to it.

Anything else would be a bonus.

~~

When John entered the Great Hall with the others, he was nearly bouncing on his toes with excitement. He'd had to wait to use the kitchen and had barely managed to cook his meal in time to freshen up and get dressed. The other body servants in training were equally excited, some fearful. John's eyes were on the door, though, when it was opened to let in the future masters.

These masters had come early to find their body servants in training. Some looked rather eager themselves, especially the first ones. Drake was among this group. He scanned the crowd as soon as he came in, though his gaze didn't stop on his body servant in training as one might expect. John was the one who caught his attention. John looked back to the other masters entering the room but he could feel Drake's eyes on him, and when his gaze flitted back to Drake, he saw that Drake was still watching him. John tried to ignore him, focusing on the masters still arriving.

As time went on, entering masters began to wear expressions of boredom. For masters who only intended to have their body servants in training take care of the household, signing off on their selection in person must seem bothersome. In fact, some masters were already leaving.

John took a moment to look around the Great Hall. Most of the master and body servant pairs had left to go to the body servants' rooms. A few stood around the officials logging the masters' confirmations. Some fellow body servants in training were still waiting for their masters to appear.

And Drake still stood not too far from the door, staring at John. His body servant in training had found him and was standing next to him now, but Drake ignored him. Drake's gaze was predatory, as if waiting to make a move on John. His body servant was staring daggers at John.

John turned back to the door. The stream of masters entering had slowed to a trickle and nearly stopped. Those arriving now were already late, but John didn't panic. Rodney wouldn't forget this date. He _could_ lose track of time if his anecdotes were anything to go by, but John was sure that he would be aware of the importance of this day. If nothing else, Rodney wouldn't want his investment of a year to go to waste.

Though, John had to admit that it did hurt a bit that Rodney wasn't one of the first, one of those who'd been eagerly waiting to see their body servants in training.

Time passed. More masters left. A few servants brought messages from would-be masters, to the disappointment or relief of their body servants in training. John didn't even want to contemplate what he'd do if Rodney didn't confirm him.

Worst of all, Drake was steadfastly refusing to budge, though his body servant was all but begging him if his body language was any guide, giving Drake puppy-dog eyes and sultry looks by turns. It was pretty humiliating in John's eyes, but then Drake had already made it very clear that he didn't care about his body servant in training. Or, at least, he wouldn't if he could have John.

John had to force himself to stand his ground when Drake walked over to an official, asking after Rodney and offering to take over John should Rodney fail to confirm him.

If Drake's body servant in training had been staring daggers before, he was now shooting mental fireballs with poisonous flames. It would probably be good to watch his step in the future, John thought. Drake's body servant in training was larger than John, but he didn't work out as much, so John was pretty sure he could take him. John could live without being punished for defending himself, though, so he hoped it wouldn't come to that.

When over an hour had passed, John did begin to worry. Maybe Rodney had planned to come and then gotten distracted by an experiment, or his carriage had broken down, or he had fallen sick. Apart from his citrus allergy, Rodney also needed to eat regularly. John could only hope that he hadn't taken John's request to mean that he shouldn't eat at all, for the whole day. John would never forgive himself if he'd caused Rodney to pass out. He tried very hard to stay positive and ignore all the terrible scenarios his mind was coming up with, like the threat of Drake taking over should Rodney not arrive.

John wasn't entirely sure about the specifics of what happened when a master didn't show up for Confirmation. He'd never cared to find out because he hadn't seriously thought it would happen. He knew for a fact that masters could request to postpone Confirmation to the next month. One of the masters had asked for that because he couldn't come on this day. However, Rodney hadn't made such a request, nor had he sent a servant today. He also hadn't sent anyone to decline Confirmation, but as far as John knew, failure to show up was equal to rejecting Confirmation. He had no reason to believe that Drake would be denied if he asked to officially claim John as his.

John didn't know what he would do if that happened. Run away immediately before Drake's previous body servant in training could try to kill him? Or should he take a risk and wait for a response from Rodney to see if he could explain his absence and ask them to overturn Drake's claim to John? What if Rodney simply stopped writing? What if he'd been forced to marry and didn't know how to tell John, let alone face him?

Thankfully John's worst-case scenarios were interrupted when the door to the Great Hall flew open and Rodney's back entered the room, followed by a large contraption on wheels, which he was pulling. John's heart skipped a beat and he had to remind himself to breathe.

Rodney stopped, let go of the cube-like thing, and looked around. His gaze fell on Drake and they stared at each other for a moment, then Rodney continued to turn until he saw John, who was still frozen in place.

"Ah, there you are," Rodney said, sounding slightly out of breath. "Will you please help me?" It was what John needed to finally move. He rushed over to Rodney and saw that the cuboid was actually made of various parts and pieces that seemed to be gadgets in their own right.

"Let's get this to your room. And please tell me you have food there," Rodney said. "If not, I'll have to re-think your Confirmation."

Before John could reassure Rodney—and himself—Drake stepped forward.

Rodney turned around. "In your dreams, idiot. You'll get John over my dead body," he said, eyes narrowing. Then he turned back to John, looking thoughtful. "Which will happen sooner than you like if I don't get something to eat soon."

John was pretty sure that he was joking, or at least exaggerating, but he said anyway, "Food's waiting. If you give me a few minutes, I can warm it up."

"I think I'll survive," Rodney said dramatically. "Where to?"

John smiled. "Follow me," he said, pulling the cuboid to his room, Rodney right behind him.

~~

John quickly reheated the casserole he'd prepared in one of the ovens that was still warm and went back to his room, where Rodney was munching on some bread that John had given him to tide him over.

"Finally," Rodney said.

John put a plate down in front of Rodney. He'd set up a small table with chairs for them to eat lunch. Rodney dug in and to John's delight made an approving sound. "This is good," he said around a mouthful of casserole. After swallowing it, he added, "I didn't know you could cook."

"I figured it would be useful," John said with a shrug, starting to eat as well. "It's the only optional course I'm taking."

"And you're as good at it as at math," Rodney said, stuffing his face. "And sorry about making you wait. I was well on time, but the stupid coachman wouldn't let me tie it to the top of the carriage," he said, waving his spoon behind him towards the corner where the cuboid stood. "He said it was a safety hazard. As if I would let anything happen to it!" Rodney was clearly outraged at the idea of damaging...whatever it was.

"Uhm, what is it?" John asked when Rodney didn't seem forthcoming.

"Oh," Rodney said, eyes lighting up. "It's a portable lab," he said proudly.

John's mouth opened, but he didn't know what to say.

"Since my father won't let me work at our labs until I'm married, I have my own little lab at home," Rodney explained as he continued eating. "You're doing so well with your studies that I wanted to give you your own lab for Confirmation, but when I asked my father to arrange it, he refused! He said I could choose _one_ tool to bring along, which is entirely pointless. It's like saying use one letter to write a book. Unfortunately he couldn't be convinced, so I started putting together the various lab tools you would need and modifying them so that they can be assembled as _one_ block. I added the wheels for easy transportation. Actually, I think I've outdone myself—the applications for it are numerous. It makes it so much easier to bring your equipment along on vacation or other occasions. It's always been such a hassle to pack everything up, but with this portable lab it's a breeze. I'm going to make one for myself next. And I'm going to patent it, because it's brilliant."

John could only nod along. And he couldn't quite believe what Rodney had built—for _him_.

"It still needs to be documented," Rodney continued while eating. "I think it would be best if you took over that part. You have access to it now and your penmanship is better than mine. Wait, are you taking drawing lessons? You need to create schematics for the parts. I never told you to take drawing lessons, did I?"

"I'll see what I can do," John said, stopping Rodney's flow of words for a moment. "You'll need to explain to me what you want," he added, because right now the cuboid looked like a three-dimensional puzzle with irregular shapes. The Academy had a workshop, but he was pretty sure nothing in there was as sophisticated as Rodney's portable lab. Or at least, nothing that the body servants in training were given access to.

"Of course," Rodney said. "We should start right away. Are you done?" He pushed the last spoonful of casserole into his mouth.

"Uhm, actually, there's dessert," John said. "I'll get it." He quickly got up.

When he returned, Rodney had already started to disassemble the cuboid. John set down the dessert in Rodney's place and resumed eating the rest of his casserole.

"What's this? Bananas?" Rodney asked. He poked at the sticky coating and then carefully tasted a banana slice. "Oh, honey!"

John smiled. "I found it in one of the books our instructor allowed us to look through."

"'sh delishioush", Rodney said with a full mouth.

While John finished his casserole, Rodney wolfed down the dessert. When they were both done, John suggested, "Let's get to the portable lab. We don't have much time left." They actually still had a few hours, but John had the feeling disassembling the cube and re-assembling the tools it was made up of would take some time.

"What about your dessert?" Rodney asked.

"I'm good," John said.

"I can start working on the lab while you eat," Rodney said. "Go ahead and get yours." He made a shooing motion.

"I only made one portion," John admitted.

"Oh," Rodney said. "You don't like it?" he asked doubtfully.

"Actually," John said, squirming a bit, "since we're not allowed to order anything ourselves"—not that that was possible since he had no money—"I had to make a special request for the banana. I did some chores in exchange, but they only allow a limited amount for special requests... It helped that it was for Confirmation." John felt slightly embarrassed about his situation. He certainly didn't want Rodney to feel bad about it. It simply was what it was, and he'd gladly done the chores to cook something special for Rodney.

Rodney stared at him. Then he slapped his hands on the table. "Okay, here's what we're going to do. You'll send me a list of what you want each week, and I'll make sure you get it."

"That's really not necessary," John protested. It hadn't been in any way his intention to extract gifts from Rodney. Some of the other body servants in training with rich masters manipulated their generosity sometimes to get gifts, but John didn't feel that was right. He preferred working for everything that he got. And though he had worked quite hard on his education, Rodney hadn't benefitted up to this point.

"I insist," Rodney said.

"I have enough opportunities to learn to cook. It's not like we don't get any ingredients at all. It's good to learn to make do with what you have," John said.

"But once we live together you need to be able to pick and choose. You'll decide what to buy and then prepare it. Or what if I feel like something that you never get here?" Rodney asked.

"I'm sure I'll be able to handle it," John said.

"I am too," Rodney said. "Beginning next week, if you don't send me a list, I'll just send you random ingredients. Don't think you're getting out of this. And if you want to repay me somehow, you can send me some of your creations if they'll keep for the time it takes to have someone deliver them."

"Thank you," John said, giving up.

"Good," Rodney said, nodding decisively. "Now let's get to the lab. It will be tough to disassemble everything, and I want to explain as much as possible for the documentation that you'll write."

John nodded and they started.

~~

"What? Already?" Rodney said when the bell rang and someone ran through the hall announcing that Confirmation would end in fifteen minutes.

They'd spent the last hours taking the lab apart and going through its components. John had jotted down notes about the particulars Rodney wanted for the documentation. They were still in the process of actually _trying_ a few things, but that was now cut short.

"I'll see what I can do with it myself and send you any questions I have and the first draft of the documentation as I write it," John assured him.

"But I've only just arrived. We didn't even get to talk about what experiments you might want to do and if you want a different teacher," Rodney complained.

"Just tell me in your letters," John said.

"It's completely senseless that I don't get to see you again until we move in together," Rodney said.

John didn't say anything. He certainly would like to see Rodney more often. Watching him explain things was fascinating. The way he moved his hands was unlike anything John had seen, and when Rodney's eyes lit up in excitement, John wanted to bask in the shared experience. Even if it had only been a few hours, John knew that their time together today would feed his masturbation fantasies in the next year.

"Was there anything you wanted to tell me or ask me?" Rodney asked. "Is there something you need? I keep forgetting that you don't have access to...well, anything. So please do let me know if you run out of oil or gas or if anything breaks."

"I'll be fine," John said. Before Rodney could berate him again, he added, "And I do have something for you." He picked up the written proof from the drawer in his nightstand and handed it to Rodney.

John bit his lip, watching as Rodney scanned the paper. "That's—" Rodney said, looking up at John with wide eyes. "I'll have to go through it in more detail—and I would have loved to go through it _with_ you; you should have given it to me sooner—but it looks very impressive. I mean..." He looked at the paper again, then at John. The gaze was so intense that John felt himself flush.

There was another announcement in the hall, reminding everyone to officially confirm the body servants in training if they hadn't done so already.

"Oh god, did I confirm you already?" Rodney asked.

"Not officially," John said.

Rodney stood up, grabbing the jacket that he'd set aside. "I wish we had more time. I wish we could go through the lab in detail and through your proof and..." He looked at John, gaze dipping to John's mouth.

John swallowed.

"But I should make sure that you'll be officially confirmed. Wouldn't want Berenson to get any ideas," Rodney said, moving towards the door, but stopping right in front of John.

"No," John agreed. They stood so close that he could smell Rodney. He wanted to bury his face in Rodney's neck to take in more of his scent. Really, he wanted more than just that. For a year now he'd gotten Rodney's intelligence and wit, his creativity and bombast, in letters, but he hadn't been able to look at him, or talk to him, or touch him.

"John," Rodney said quietly.

John leaned forward in a silent plea for just a bit more to hold him over the next twelve months.

Rodney breathed in and out, looking into John's eyes, and then closed his eyes and the gap between their lips. The kiss was awkward for a second when their mouths didn't quite match up, but then John tilted his head and took Rodney's face in his hands and it was perfect.

"Thank you," John murmured, staying close to Rodney.

Rodney moved right back in for their second kiss. "We should have left the lab alone and gone to bed," Rodney said. "Did you learn to..." He trailed off, flushing.

John only nodded and dropped down to his knees.

"Oh god," Rodney said when John opened his pants.

"I'll hurry," John said, well aware that someone might come for them in a moment. He couldn't let this chance go by. For a year he'd practiced sucking other men's members, thinking about Rodney, and now he could finally get a real taste of him. He took the rapidly hardening shaft in his hand.

"I don't think that'll be a problem," Rodney said, voice sounding strained.

John leaned forward to lick the tip of Rodney's cock. Listening to his responses, he took the head in his mouth, sucking while his tongue ran over and around it, catching every bit of fluid that escaped.

"John," Rodney whispered.

John relaxed his throat and started taking in more of Rodney's cock, moving further and further.

Rodney bowed forward, making it a bit easier for John to take him. He put his hands on John's head, kneading it. Incoherent sounds fell from his lips.

John paused, moving back and forth, licking and sucking as he went, taking in more and more. Eventually he'd taken in all of Rodney's cock, and his nose was buried in Rodney's pubic hair.

Rodney was panting loudly at this point, moving in minute little thrusts. John swallowed around him and somehow managed to undo his own pants enough to take out his cock.

In only a few strokes Rodney said, "Oh god, you're..." and started coming.

John nursed him through it, drinking every drop of Rodney's come, even as he stroked himself.

When he felt his climax approaching, he pulled away, letting Rodney's dick slip from his tongue. He looked up at Rodney's open mouth, reveled in the feeling of Rodney's hands holding his head, the taste of Rodney still on his tongue, and stroked himself to completion. The sight made Rodney groan once more, his spent member twitching.

There was a knock on the door. "Master Rodney. You still need to register your official Confirmation," a voice said, before steps moved away. John and Rodney just looked at each other for a moment, unable to move and still breathing hard.

"I need to confirm you," Rodney said. "Need to make sure that we get to do this whenever we want a year from now."

John nodded. He tried to gather the energy to get up.

Rodney tucked himself back in. "Do you want to stay?" he asked.

John shook his head, putting his own sensitive member in his pants and forcing himself to get up.

They quickly stumbled to the door, but before they could leave, Rodney pulled him into another kiss. "One more year," he mumbled. "Such cruel torture." He kissed John again and then opened the door.

They ran to the Great Hall together, looking for an official. Inside the room, Rodney bumped into Drake, who'd apparently been waiting. Rodney only gave him a disparaging look.

"I confirm John Sheppard," Rodney said to the official.

The man smiled, making a note in his book. "I didn't doubt you would." Then he turned to Drake, giving him a slightly exasperated look. "Will you _now_ confirm your body servant in training?" The 'finally' was heavily implied.

Drake only nodded curtly.

John spared a glance at Drake's body servant in training, who stood completely stone-faced next to him. For someone who should have been thoroughly fucked for the last couple of hours, he didn't look very relaxed.

John was only happy that he was _Rodney's_ body servant in training, now officially Confirmed. He smiled at Rodney.

Rodney smiled back. "I'll write you a letter as soon as I arrive home."

John's smile widened.

"And I'll see you in a year," Rodney said, longing in his voice.

John nodded. He would count the days, on one of the time measurement devices in the lab.

"We would like to call an end to Confirmation," the official informed them politely.

Rodney gave him an annoyed look. Then he sighed, looking at John. "This is goodbye for now."

"Only twelve months," John said, trying to be cheerful.

Rodney looked at him, his gaze wandering over John's face as if taking in every detail. John did the same, though in the end he got lost in Rodney's deep blue eyes.

The official cleared his throat.

"Yes, yes," Rodney said impatiently. Then he leaned forward and kissed John again. John kissed back, not caring about anyone watching them. He didn't think this was a common thing to do, but they weren't quite like other masters and their body servants.

Rodney eventually tore himself away, giving John one last longing look and then turning and walking down the Great Hall to the door. He hesitated, but didn't turn before walking through it.

John waited until he could no longer see Rodney. Then he turned, nearly walking straight into Drake, who stared at him. John ignored him and walked past. He had experiments to perform, documentation to write and, most importantly, memories to relive and fantasies to build on them.

~~

After dinner John played with his new lab, still not quite able to grasp what Rodney had built for him. He'd only had vague thoughts that it would be nice to confirm one of his calculations with an experiment, but he'd never expected to have his own lab to actually do it.

And the lab could do more than John would have ever hoped. It had a lens set-up, vials for chemical experiments, tools to do metal- or wood-craft, and even a small oven that could be used to melt metal, fire clay, and heat water for a small steam-powered engine.

He'd even be able to create his own sewing machine, which certainly wasn't something Rodney had in mind while building the lab. It would be highly useful to John, though—he'd never bothered to let out the clothes he'd grown out of because it seemed too much work by hand.

And he'd be able to do so many other small and not-so-small things. Like fix the little board with wheels he'd built years ago, but which kept breaking until John had given up. He'd be able to reinforce it with metal now.

The lab and its many uses would give him autonomy that was unheard of for body servants in training. Sure, some of them, especially those with masters from rich families, asked for and received particular things that were otherwise unavailable. But none of them had the ability to build and repair things the way he did now thanks to Rodney's incredibly generous gift.

He hadn't yet gone into the details of his gift with the others. Over dinner, one of the other body servants in training asked about the strange cuboid, but John only said he hadn't had time to fully look at it yet.

Drake's body servant in training had bragged about how amazing Drake had been, how they'd fucked, how many gifts he'd gotten. He hadn't looked in John's direction even once. John was glad that he was apparently determined to ignore John. He didn't know how many other body servants in training had witnessed his humiliation, his master holding out for another person before confirming him. John wasn't going to point it out. He felt no particularly ill-will towards Drake's body servant in training. He didn't have a lot to do with him anyway, since they didn't share any classes. In fact John had to think before he could recall his name—David.

When David bragged about his master, John felt only pity. David hadn't chosen his life any more than John had. Seeing Drake with David today only reinforced how lucky John was to have Rodney.

Later that evening John was called to the Academy entrance where a messenger gave him a letter. He went back to his room, settling down in his bed and reading Rodney's letter.

The first part consisted of more or less organized suggestions for experiments John might want to do, as if Rodney had tried to simply jot down anything that came to his mind that he'd forgotten to mention when he'd been with John. But then Rodney wrote:

"I will detail my thoughts on your proof in a separate letter. I wish you had given it to me sooner. Or actually, I wish that we hadn't talked about science at all."

John gasped when he read those words, because for Rodney to say something like that was unthinkable.

"We've had a year and will have another year to discuss your education and work through our correspondence, but we only had this one day to actually see each other. I never understood the masters who only use their body servants for sexual gratification. I still don't. The thought of wasting your mind is abhorrent to me, but at the same time I cannot deny that what is most sharply in my mind as I write these lines is the sight of you on your knees pleasuring me and yourself so expertly.

"I would have loved to touch more of you. I would have loved to taste your pleasure. I'm not even sure I can fully grasp everything I want us to do with each other.

"Rest assured that I look forward to the day we can discuss science and explore each other without interruptions. From now on, not a night will go by that I don't think of you when I touch myself. I will not ask you to do the same. But if you do happen to think of me sometimes, I will gladly share some of my fantasies with you.

"Thank you for this unforgettable day,  
"Rodney"

John slipped his hand into his pants, imagining that Rodney was doing the same now. He conjured up Rodney's face, his smell, the weight of his stiff member in John's mouth. He thought about Rodney touching himself and then thought about Rodney touching _him_ and about touching Rodney.

He rapidly stroked his hard shaft, imagining it was Rodney's hand, imagining Rodney on top of him, looking down at him, making sweet noises and losing all control and coherence. John came remembering Rodney's hands in his hair and his taste on his tongue.

Twelve more months and he'd have him again—and so much more.

~~

Time flew by after Confirmation. John still had classes, though fewer in number as teachers ran out of things to teach him. Instead he occupied himself with his lab, first with the documentation that he wrote for Rodney and then with actual experiments based on Rodney's suggestions and done on his own.

He also quickly became the person to see if something needed to be fixed.

John had mostly kept to himself over the years, but even though he still didn't believe that investing in friendships was wise considering their situation as little more than property, he felt enough kinship with his fellow body servants in training to share his lab with them if they needed something.

Not everyone liked the new status this gave John. Some who were used to the admiration of their peers based on their ability to procure food or toys or other things from their masters were especially disgruntled, but even most of them eventually made their way to John to get something done with the help of his lab.

It probably helped that he treated everyone equally. He favored no one and only turned people down when what they wanted required materials that he didn't have. Sharing his lab with the others had serious advantages in that regard, though. John soon found that a steady stream of wood, coal, metal scrap, and other resources found their way to him in return for his help or as leftovers that he was allowed to keep.

He also earned other kinds of favors. People were willing to switch chores with him or simply do them for him. He didn't always accept those offers because he wanted to stay self-sufficient, and he would have to be able to keep Rodney's household in order when they moved in together. However, it was nice to be able to stay at his lab when time was an issue and have someone else do a chore that couldn't wait. And favors also took other forms, like the book with instructions for pleasuring your master that found its way to him.

The book had been sent by Drake to David so that he could train himself more fully in the art of sexual stimulation and satisfaction. After he'd read it and told others about it, he'd magnanimously lent it to others who were eager to please their master—or themselves.

Unlike David, John had never explicitly talked about his sexual education. Others knew that he had serviced Atlantean volunteers, but they didn't know what he did with them or that he had pleasured Rodney when he'd been there for Confirmation. A few had seen them kiss, he was sure, and he knew for a fact that David must have seen it, but unlike some others John never advertised that he was eager to learn more about pleasuring his master.

In fact, he had stopped practicing on the Atlantean volunteers. He didn't think there was more for him to learn about bringing a man to climax with his mouth, and he had never considered giving them access to any more of his body. Rodney hadn't asked him to train for more, but even if he had, it was something that John preferred to give only to Rodney once they were living together. He wanted to prepare himself for that in other ways, and had started experimenting with his fingers and a small toy which he fashioned with his lab.

Thus far the experiments had been more painful than pleasurable, and John had the feeling that he was doing something wrong. Surely all of his peers who'd fucked weren't lying about how great it was. So John gladly took the instructions when they were offered to him in trade by a body servant in training who'd gotten David's book—or maybe it would better be called Drake's book. John was well aware of its origin, but his need to prepare himself correctly to take Rodney into his body was more important than the discomfort of taking anything from Drake. He was just borrowing the book in any case and was going to pass it on as soon as he was done with it.

He started reading at night, when he was less likely to be disturbed. The book described sexual acts in graphic detail, not just in words but with pictures. John hardened at the sight of the images. He thumbed through the book until he got to the chapter on anal intercourse. He skimmed the pages, learning about anatomy and feeling a bit stupid that he hadn't thought of using oil or grease to ease the entry of his fingers or his little insertable.

Getting up from the bed, he said a silent thanks to Rodney for the lab, which allowed him to simply get some grease instead of having to wait until he could get some from the kitchen or workshop. He lay back in bed and started stroking his entrance as the book described, giving himself time to enjoy the sensation and relax before he pushed his finger further inside.

It was much better with the grease easing the way. John stroked himself with his other hand, trying to maintain an erection. It wasn't as uncomfortable as it had been before, but he still didn't think he'd found his prostate. He kept pushing further, moving his finger until sensation shot through his body. His hips jerked up, and he lost his place deep inside his body. He quickly turned onto his stomach and half-knelt, pushing his finger back in, even as he kept rubbing his hard member.

When he found that spot again, he bit his lip to keep from crying out, stroking himself rapidly and keeping up the pressure on the spot until he tensed and came. He collapsed onto the bed panting.

Oh yeah, he definitely wanted Rodney to fuck him as soon as possible.

~~

John quickly read through the rest of Drake's book in the next days. Not all of it appealed to him. One image of a contorted body in bondage made him scratch his head, and the description of dripping candle wax on sensitive skin only reminded him of the times he'd burned his fingers while cooking, which wasn't arousing in any way. Some other things left him intrigued rather than excited, but he was quite all right with that because there was more than enough that he was looking forward to doing with Rodney. Of course, he'd have to learn Rodney's preferences in any case.

In his first letter after Confirmation Day John had confessed to Rodney that he did think about him when he masturbated and that he would love to hear Rodney's fantasies. Rodney hadn't answered that part of John's letter immediately. His next letter had been about John's proof, suggesting how to state a few parts more elegantly or clearly but overall complimenting John on what he'd done.

The letter after that had given John some feedback on the first pages of his documentation and a few paragraphs of his normal banter, where Rodney told him about his life and work. John enjoyed every bit of Rodney's correspondence, but he was a bit disappointed that he hadn't followed up on his offer to share his fantasies.

When _that_ letter finally arrived it was, once again, delivered by messenger. John wasn't sure whether it was for speed, to satisfy Rodney's desire to know precisely when John received the letter, or to make sure that no one but John read it. Truthfully, he didn't care.

He rushed back to his room and read it, relieved to find that Rodney finally disclosed one of his fantasies. Soon he was aroused and he climaxed as he made Rodney's words come to life in his mind, stroking himself as if Rodney's hands were touching him.

The pattern continued. Rodney's regular correspondence was delivered to the Academy with the books, food, and occasional lab materials he sent. Letters that he sent via messenger contained descriptions of sexual encounters between them.

While Rodney's fantasies did vary each time, so far they had only consisted of oral and manual sexual activities. After reading Drake's book and fingering himself with great success, John found himself hoping for more. Rodney had previously invited him to share his own fantasies if he wanted. John tried to create a scenario the way Rodney did, but he found he simply couldn't craft words the way Rodney could to make a scene come to life. He finally wrote to Rodney that he wasn't as talented at writing as Rodney was, but assuring him that he enjoyed Rodney's imagination very much.

Now John toyed with the idea of writing a scenario that involved Rodney fucking him. But as he sat at his desk, the words just wouldn't come. He kept flushing hotly at the idea of pouring his fantasies onto paper, but at the same time he longed for Rodney to know that he would enjoy more if Rodney was up for it.

He'd passed on the book with sexual instructions and couldn't bring himself to ask for it again, even though it might have helped him find the words for the things he wanted Rodney to do with him. Eventually, it occurred to him that there was a way to solve two problems at once.

In his next letter he told Rodney about the book, and asked if it might be possible for Rodney to get him a copy so that he could prepare himself more fully for the time when they shared a household. He kept it general and didn't name anything specific he wanted to do. It had occurred to him that Rodney might not want to do certain things with him.

Since opening his lab for others to use, he'd come into closer contact with his peers, and he'd heard a few stories about the sexual acts the other masters wanted from their body servants in training. Not everyone wanted to fuck, apparently, even if they wished to be sexually serviced with hands or mouths.

"It wouldn't be like with their wife anyway," one of his peers had said.

John had to admit that it hadn't occurred to him that the purpose of sex between masters and their body servants could be nothing but preparation for their wives. That certainly wasn't the case with Drake or Rodney. But every master and body servant relationship was different, and it was good to be reminded of that.

John was certain that Rodney enjoyed the idea of sex with him for reasons that had nothing to do with his future wife. In fact, in all the letters he'd written, a wife had only come up when Rodney had lamented that he wasn't allowed to work at the family lab until he was married. But that didn't mean that Rodney would necessarily want to fuck him, so he hoped that Rodney would read the table of contents of the book and let him know what he was interested in.

John felt nervous after sending the letter with the request. After five regular letters from Rodney with no mention at all of his request, he wondered if the book or even just the request for it had somehow offended Rodney. He hoped that Rodney didn't think John wanted to do _everything_ in the book, or that Rodney somehow felt obligated to indulge John if he was not interested in doing anything beyond sucking or stroking each other to climax.

John agonized over how to explain to Rodney that it had only been a suggestion. But he didn't want to seem too apologetic either, because Rodney disliked that. Maybe Rodney simply hadn't had time to purchase the book. It was hardly something he could do while strolling through shops with his younger sister. John tried to remain patient and calm down, not mentioning the book again, until finally he received word that a messenger was waiting for him at the gate.

He ran as fast as his feet could carry him. The messenger had a parcel for him this time instead of a letter, and it was the size of the book. John thanked him and rushed back to his room, ripping open the packaging to reveal the book and a letter.

"Dear John,

"Here is the book that you requested. After I was unable to find it in any of the bookstores, I visited Berenson to find out where he got it."

Oh god. John felt awful about having put Rodney in that position. It should have occurred to him that books about sexual practices wouldn't be easily available. He was so confined in the Academy that the world outside seemed to offer any freedom one could possibly want, which of course might not be the case, even for someone in Rodney's position.

"At first he refused to help me unless I promised him a night with you as recompense."

John felt nearly sick at the idea. Maybe he shouldn't have touched that book at all. It seemed that everything to do with Drake threatened to bring misery to John's life.

"I obviously didn't agree to that. He was finally convinced to comply when I suggested that my father might persuade his father to make him talk."

John sighed in relief. Not that he'd really expected Rodney to give him away like that. But the truth of the matter was that he was a servant and his service was at Rodney's pleasure. It _could_ have been possible that Rodney wouldn't see a single night with Drake as a problem, especially since John had serviced other men before.

John also felt a pang of remorse for Drake. Rodney sounded like he'd been very forceful and, in this case, Drake hadn't even done anything to prompt Rodney's visit and request. But then John thought about what Drake probably would have done to him in one night had Rodney agreed to lend him out, and quickly got over his moment of pity.

"I looked at the book once I was able to procure it, and I have to admit I am glad that you are willing to offer me more than you already have."

Reading this, John realized that Rodney seemed to be under the impression that John wasn't as willing and eager as Rodney was when it came to the sexual component of their relationship. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and John regretted that he'd never been able to put his own fantasies into words. He'd hoped that the request for the book would finally convince Rodney how much John wanted him.

"And to avoid any further misunderstandings, I'm asking you to let me know what you would like to do with me. To be perfectly clear, I do not want you to force yourself to agree to do something out of misguided gratitude or something similarly idiotic. Please state your preferences as things you'd like to do, are open to trying, or would prefer not to do. You do not even have to refer to the act if you're feeling shy about it. The number of the chapter or page will suffice.

"I will not share my own preferences until I have received yours, in order not to influence you. Once again, please be honest with me, John. My sister accuses me of thinking of nobody but myself, but I assure you that your happiness in your life with me is very much in my thoughts.

"Rodney"

John cursed his inability to put into words how much he wanted Rodney. He knew that some of the body servants in training genuinely felt trapped by their masters' wishes. He didn't know if they'd ever tried to speak of their feelings or only suffered in silence, but he couldn't bear for Rodney to think that John was one of them.

He sat down at his desk and started to write a letter.

"Dear Rodney,

"There is nothing in the book that I wouldn't try with you, not because I think I have to, but because I think anything that we did together would be good simply for doing it with you.

"I have a hard time describing my fantasies the way you do, but I think of you every time I touch myself. I re-read your letters, imagining that it's your hands on my body. I remember your touch, your smell, your taste, and my body starts trembling at the memory.

"I can't wait for you to fuck me."

John flushed writing the words, but he pressed on.

"I fantasize about it every time I finger myself or insert an object into my ass. I've heard that other masters have sent their body servants a replica of their stiff member. If you do me the same honor I will fuck myself with it until the time when it can be your real live flesh that penetrates me. Or even better, make it a bit smaller than your true size so that when you come inside me the first time, I'll be fuller than I've ever been before."

John could feel that he was beet red. He had hardly been able to admit these wishes to himself and hadn't intended to share them with Rodney, but he needed Rodney to know how desperately he wanted him.

"I will share a detailed list of the favorite things I would like to try tomorrow, but now I will put this letter out to be mailed before I lose my nerve and you never receive it.

"Please never doubt that I want you, even if I can't put it into words the way you do.

"Faithfully yours,  
"John"

Before he could change his mind, John put the letter in an envelope. Without rereading it he quickly rushed to the letterbox in the Academy mail room and pushed the letter inside.

He hoped that Rodney would finally understand John's feelings. Maybe he'd even get a dildo out of it.

~~

When John woke up the next morning and remembered the letter he'd written in the heat of the moment, he flushed.

He didn't regret it, but he still felt awkward about putting his feelings into words like that. He knew that he had promised Rodney he would compile a list of things he wanted to do, but he felt that he needed to calm down a bit before exposing even more of his fantasies.

He ran through the court yard, and when that still didn't relieve the fluttery feeling in his stomach, he decided to bake for Rodney.

Preparing meals always relaxed John, especially doing it for Rodney. Rodney had been true to his word and had started sending him ingredients to cook. At first John had simply tried to be creative with whatever Rodney sent him. He'd assumed that they were Rodney's favorite foods, but when they were never repeated and seemed rather random, John began to plan ahead and request certain things that he couldn't get in the Academy's kitchen.

He asked for Rodney's favorite foods but Rodney only wrote that as long as it didn't contain citrus he was pretty much happy. So John prepared varied meals, trying to get a broad feel for what ingredients went together. He wasn't a master in the kitchen by any means, but he was beginning to have a good grasp of what worked for particular kinds of food and what didn't, even if he hadn't combined them together before.

John ate everything that he cooked. The rest of his food—like everything that was prepared in the kitchen—went to the mess hall. However, exceptions were made if body servants in training wanted to send their creations to their masters. Normal meals were hard to send of course, so John tended to bake for Rodney.

Today John decided to make the little cakes he baked in cups. Rodney had written that he loved to have them around to eat when he couldn't tear himself away from his work and suddenly found himself hungry. John made them sweet or salty, with ingredients he had at hand. Today he decided to use strawberries from the garden.

While the cup cakes baked, he did his chores for the day, and by the time he wrapped the cakes up in a little basket, he felt ready to go through the book without too much nervousness.

He tried not to read the pages that described the sex acts. He wanted to make sure to be ready by the time a messenger collected their letters and packages, so he went through the table of contents rather than the book itself, only looking things up when he was unsure what they were.

He couldn't completely shut off his imagination of course. Especially for those things that went on his "would love to try this" list. The other options were "would like to try this" and "would try this if you wanted to". He explained again that he wouldn't have to force himself and that it wasn't due to some sense of gratitude, which was true. Even things like wax play and the contortions that looked like a cramp waiting to happen seemed to have a certain appeal when he imagined doing them with Rodney.

It occurred to John that even scrubbing the stables would seem an enjoyable task if he got to do it with Rodney. There was just something about Rodney's presence that mesmerized John. Or maybe it was the restrictions that were imposed on them for the moment. It could very well be that once he shared a household with Rodney, the magic of being with him would eventually wear off and be replaced by comfortable routine.

He didn't think he'd become indifferent to Rodney any time soon, though. And maybe it was better if Rodney's presence didn't have quite so profound an effect on him. After all, it wouldn't last forever.

~~

This time around, John didn't became anxious as he waited for Rodney's reply. If Rodney fulfilled his wish for a dildo, it would take some time to be made, and John was willing to wait. That was even more the case the next day when a messenger arrived without a package, but with a letter.

It was another of Rodney's fantasies. And this time—finally—it was one in which Rodney fucked him—bent him over the desk and pounded into him. John flushed at Rodney's words as he scanned them, eventually scrambling out of bed for some oil and his little insertable.

He fucked himself with it, reading Rodney's words, imagining Rodney filling him. The idea of Rodney's hands on his hips, Rodney's hard cock in his ass brought John quickly to completion.

Rodney didn't write about John's request, but John was sure he was looking into arranging it. And even if not, he was definitely going to prepare for Rodney to fuck him as soon as they saw each other again. He'd make a larger insertable as soon as he could.

~~

Rodney still hadn't sent the dildo when John was called into the office of one of the masters of the Academy. He was called out of his cooking class, and as John followed the servant, dread rose in him.

He'd never been called in before to speak to one of the masters. Lower-level officials dealt with the groups of body servants in training as they progressed through the Academy. They handed out punishments, resolved disputes, and kept an eye on the general progress of the trainees. Masters didn't get directly involved where body servants in training were concerned. John wasn't sure exactly what they did, except make sure that the other officials did their jobs, but he didn't think that being called into a master's office could mean anything good. 

He wasn't aware of committing any egregious infractions. Switching chores wasn't officially sanctioned, nor was the little bartering he engaged in as part of allowing others to use his lab, but those were activities that most of the body servants in training engaged in. They were tacitly permitted as long as they didn't get out of hand and nobody extorted anyone else.

The lab itself had never met with disapproval from the officials who were assigned to him—quite the contrary. And there wasn't anything objectionable about it anyway. The Academy tended to view gifts from masters as beyond reproach. Even dangerous things like knifes weren't confiscated if they weren't misused, and John hadn't done anything with his lab but run a few experiments and create or fix a few harmless things.

He couldn't think of anything he'd done that would warrant being called into the master's office. Maybe this wasn't about him, but about Rodney. If John had worried before, he felt even worse as he contemplated what would require that he be notified by not just an official, but an Academy master. The most obvious thing would be that Rodney no longer required a body servant in training, but John _couldn't_ imagine that. Not without Rodney telling him at least.

So the next reason that John could think of was...horrible. Rodney could be dead. The scientific progress of the last century had also applied to medical fields, but there were still many things people could and did die from even when they were young. Rodney's citrus allergy was the most obvious.

John could see him eating a cake or meal that he hadn't confirmed was citrus-free. Rodney's throat would close up, and maybe they'd try to save him by puncturing his neck as they'd done before. But maybe they hadn't been so lucky this time. Maybe Rodney had drowned in his own blood.

John wasn't sure if he should be grateful that they'd finally arrived at the master's office. He didn't want to continue imagining in graphic detail how Rodney might have met an untimely end, but if Rodney really was dead, he didn't want to hear it confirmed either.

The Academy servant who had escorted him knocked and opened the door for John, motioning him to go in. There were two people in the room. One sat behind the desk—one of the masters of the Academy John assumed—and another man in expensive clothing stood to the side. For a second John wondered if he might be Dr. McKay, Rodney's father, though he didn't look like Rodney at all.

John looked at the master, who smiled at him. John inwardly sighed in relief. The officials had different levels of sympathy for the body servants in training, but John had never seen them be cruel or take pleasure in the misery of their charges. This probably meant that Rodney wasn't dead.

"John," the master said. "I have received a request from Master Rodney. He would like to have your portrait drawn. With your permission." He raised his eyebrows at the last, acknowledging how unusual it was that Rodney would ask permission from his body servant in training, especially for something like this. "He has sent Mr. Rovus to create the portrait," the master added, nodding towards the other man.

Mr. Rovus. That name actually rang a bell for John. Combined with the fact that he was clearly a gentleman of Atlantia, John found himself speechless that Rodney would not only commission a portrait of him—a first in his group of body servants in training—but that he would hire a real artist to do it, not simply one of the craftsmen who did portraits as a service.

"John? Do you agree to have your portrait done by Mr. Rovus?" the master asked.

"Uh, yes, of course," John said.

The master smiled. "Very well. Mr. Rovus has permission to go anywhere he wants to find the best spot for a portrait."

"I would like to take advantage of the afternoon sun, so this is when I'd like to have you stand for me," Mr. Rovus said. "It shouldn't take longer than a few days."

John didn't know what to say.

"You'll be excused from your classes for the time being," the master told him. "Dr. Frederickson comes in in the mornings if I'm informed correctly, so that shouldn't be a problem. I hope you can still fulfill your chores."

"Yes," John said. "That should be no problem."

"Thank you," Mr. Rovus said to the master. He turned to John. "Let us find the perfect spot for the light then, John."

John only nodded and followed Mr. Rovus as he left the room.

~~

Walking through the Academy with an Atlantean artist who was here to create a portrait of _him_ was surreal to John. Mr. Rovus decided on a spot in the courtyard. He told John to go eat while his servant prepared everything.

John ate quickly, ignoring the curious looks of the other body servants from his cooking class. When he returned to the courtyard, Mr. Rovus stood in front of an easel with a large canvas, making rough sketches of the background and a standing figure.

"Ah, you're back," Mr. Rovus said. "Master Rodney has requested a full body portrait." His eyes ran over John's body quickly and professionally. "If you would stand over there next to the bush..."

John nodded and walked over to the spot, standing like the figure in the sketch.

Mr. Rovus looked at him. "You seem tense," he pointed out. "You will have to stand like this for a while, so it will be helpful to relax a bit." He didn't wait for John to do so before he started sketching again.

John took a deep breath and tried to relax his shoulders. Not too much, though, because he didn't want to look like a complete slouch. John had no idea where Rodney planned to hang the portrait. It would obviously not be hung in the dining room or anywhere else publicly visible in the McKay household. But even if it would hang in Rodney's bedroom or next to his work desk—especially in either of those places, where Rodney spent most of his time—he wanted to look good. He wanted to look like he had the time Rodney had called him pretty.

John could very well imagine that Rodney would use the portrait as a visual reminder of John when he touched himself, just as John did with Rodney's portrait. It would be best not to think about that while he stood here, though. John quickly imagined cleaning the latrines to make sure that his member didn't get any ideas.

As heady as it was to have his portrait drawn at Rodney's request, John quickly got bored with simply standing still. Mr. Rovus didn't talk to him except when John didn't keep his position. There wasn't anything going on in the courtyard that could distract him and without the ability to take notes, thinking about experiments wasn't very fruitful either. John tried to recall the stories in the books that Rodney had sent him to kill some time, which was semi-successful because he couldn't remember all the details and because Mr. Rovus told him not to change his facial expression.

Eventually the afternoon classes were over and someone came into the courtyard to do some gardening. He stared at John and Mr. Rovus and then quickly left again. John wanted to shout after him that he didn't have to leave, but he didn't want to show how bored he was. The body servant in training soon returned anyway, and he had others in tow. John flushed when the group arrayed themselves behind Mr. Rovus, watching him draw.

Some seemed amused, some incredulous. One of the body servants stared open-mouthed at Mr. Rovus, then talked to his neighbors about what sounded like art. They all kept a polite distance, though.

As the courtyard seemed to fill with body servants in training, even Academy officials started to drop by. John assumed they wanted to make sure that everything was in order and the body servants behaved themselves in front of their guest. But after a while John realized that it wasn't just the officials responsible for their education and general development, but also Academy servants. Like the body servants in training, most of them didn't stay for long. Watching someone paint wasn't really all that interesting if you weren't an artist, as that one body servant in training whose eyes were glued to Mr. Rovus seemed to be. But he did see kitchen hands, teachers, and even the servant who took care of their mail drop by to witness the spectacle.

John felt embarrassed and suddenly wished for the empty boredom of the previous hours. Thankfully the light began to dim at that point, and Mr. Rovus told him he could move.

"I will return tomorrow at half past one. Please make sure that you have eaten already," he said.

"Yes, sir," John said, wincing as he took a step after standing still for so long.

Mr. Rovus directed his servant to stow away the canvas and easel. "I will see you tomorrow, John. Thank you for being cooperative."

"You're welcome, sir," John said. Really, it wasn't as if he could _not_ cooperate. Although, he supposed he could have refused Rodney's request.

Mr. Rovus left, and John moved his arms around, stretching stiff muscles. The body servants in training who were still present teased John as soon as Mr. Rovus was out of earshot. But it was a good-natured teasing, which was well deserved considering he would have a portrait drawn by an Atlantean artist. It still hadn't quite sunk in yet.

John decided to do his chores before dinner to get away from the others and to clear his head a bit.

After dinner he returned to his room. Should he write a note to Rodney? He wasn't sure what to write. Should he thank Rodney for wanting a portrait of him? For doing him the honor of hiring an artist? Should he tease him about wanting a full view of John's body any time he wanted?

He decided to work on an experiment that he'd talked to Rodney about and which he'd planned to perform that afternoon. Later that night he was called to the Academy entrance to pick up a letter.

John sprinted back to his room, excited to read what Rodney had to say, because letters sent via messenger always contained some sexual fantasy.

Rodney began by apologizing for not giving him a warning about the portrait.

"Mr. Rovus had time and offered to begin immediately, so I felt it would be best to let him ask you. I was relatively certain you'd agree. Thank you for that. I can't wait to have your portrait in my room. It will be placed across from my bed so that you'll be in full view when I think about you."

John's pants tightened. He knew exactly where this was going. He undid his pants and lay down on the bed, looking at the portrait of Rodney before picking the letter up and reading about today's fantasy.

~~

The next day Mr. Rovus returned as promised and continued working on John's portrait. It wasn't quite as boring as the day before because this time people came out earlier to watch. The Academy master who'd first informed John of Rodney's wish dropped by to see Mr. Rovus' progress and talk to him for a bit.

There was never the same mass of people as the previous day, though. The body servant in training who seemed to be an ardent admirer of Mr. Rovus arrived at some point, presumably as soon as his classes allowed, and stayed all through the afternoon. But mostly John's fellow body servants in training only dropped by to smirk at him or to check on the progress of the portrait.

All in all it was tiring to stand still for so long. John didn't even dare to remind himself that he was doing this for Rodney because then he'd immediately think of Rodney's last letter, and it would be embarrassing to stand in plain sight in the courtyard with a stiff member. John was relieved when the session was over and he was allowed to stretch.

The next day proceeded exactly like the previous one, and only on the fourth afternoon did the crowd in the courtyard begin to grow again. People were watching Mr. Rovus, and since they didn't immediately leave as they had before and others flocked into the courtyard, John got the idea that Mr. Rovus would soon be done.

The courtyard seemed to fill up by the minute. Even people who hadn't bothered before came to take a look at the final result. For the first time in all four days John spotted David in the courtyard. He gave John a cool look but stayed as Mr. Rovus put on the finishing touches.

"I believe I am done," Mr. Rovus finally declared, and his admirer started clapping. Others joined in, and the Academy master who'd welcomed Mr. Rovus now congratulated him on his work. The crowd dispersed again, with only few people lingering, and John walked towards Mr. Rovus to catch a glimpse of the portrait.

It was nice. John wasn't an artist, so the gushing words of Mr. Rovus' admirer about colors and composition didn't really mean anything to him. But he did note the vibrant colors and liked the way he looked even if the likeness wasn't one hundred percent the way Rodney's was in his portrait. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he was happy with the portrait and thanked Mr. Rovus.

"I thank _you_. You were much better at remaining still than most of my subjects," Mr. Rovus said.

_I'm used to obeying a master_ , John thought but didn't say. Mr. Rovus hadn't treated him badly, so there was no reason to be bitter. His status in life was what it was, and considering that, this portrait was a great honor.

An honor and a _gift_ , John reminded himself. A gift from Rodney to him, and maybe for Rodney himself. John imagined what Rodney would do when he finally had the portrait in hand, so to speak, and flushed.

The Academy master talked to Mr. Rovus as his servant prepared the portrait for transport. John stood next to them, not quite sure what to do.

Eventually, Mr. Rovus was ready to leave. "I will deliver this to Master Rodney at once. He seemed quite impatient." The ghost of a smile appeared on his face, and John flushed again.

"Please send him my regards," John quickly said before Mr. Rovus left.

Mr. Rovus nodded and left together with his servant and the Academy master.

"I still cannot believe that you had a portrait painted by Antonin Rovus," Mr. Rovus' admirer said.

John only shrugged. He couldn't really believe it either.

~~

John was very busy after the portrait was finally done. Not only did he want to catch up with his experiments, studying, and reading, he also had more requests to use his lab than usual since people hadn't had a chance in the days before.

He was still pretty busy when one body servant in training who wanted something fixed told John that another master has sent someone to draw a portrait of his body servant in training. John wasn't especially surprised, since it was one of the body servants with a very rich master. He'd often bragged about his master's wealth and the generous gifts he got, even saying dismissively that he didn't need John to fix anything for him because he could simply ask his master to send a new version of whatever he'd broken.

Apparently his master didn't want to be upstaged by Rodney. John didn't really care about it, but he was curious enough to go into the courtyard with the others to see how the portrait was going.

John couldn't quite suppress a certain amount of pride that the person doing the portrait was not an Atlantean master, but rather a servant. From what John could see he was quite adept at drawing, but still, if the purpose of this portrait was to upstage Mr. Rovus' work, it would fail, and the slightly sour look of the posing body servant when he spotted John showed that he knew it.

John only chuckled to himself and went back to his room to keep catching up on the things he'd missed doing while he'd posed for his portrait.

Two others were drawn over the course of the next week, both by servants as well. David was not among them, John noted, even though he knew the Berensons were rich enough to afford it. Drake was among the more generous masters, and David certainly didn't skip any opportunity to brag about it. Of course, in this case David might not have wanted to bring Rodney's gift to John to his master's attention. Thinking back to Confirmation Day and the humiliation of Drake waiting until Rodney had confirmed John before he confirmed David, John could understand if David's desire to prove his master's generosity was outweighed by his desire to ignore John's existence.

Which was just as well with John, who was quite happy to have nothing to do with David.

Life at the Academy went on. John studied with Dr. Frederickson, used the ingredients Rodney sent to prepare meals, and sometimes baked for him. He also frequently masturbated, re-reading Rodney's letters and working larger insertables into himself.

He still wasn't managing anything like the size of a stiff member when he was called to fetch his mail one morning. Instead of the book or edible ingredients that usually accompanied Rodney's letter, there was a package.

Well, it wasn't so much a package as something wrapped in cloth so tightly that it didn't leave anything to the imagination. John flushed fiercely when he took the dildo from the hands of the servant. He knew that he was being ridiculous. He knew for a fact that other, larger dildos had been sent, so this was hardly worth blushing over.

However, when he looked at the servant, the awkward smile that John had planned to give him froze on his face. John had never seen the servant responsible for their mail have any expression other than boredom or impatience. But this time he watched John with a clenched jaw and cold look. He almost looked at John like David did sometimes, which was unsettling because David, at least, had a reason. Not that it was John's fault that Drake was obsessed with John, but John could still understand David's reaction to him.

But he'd never done anything to the mail servant, so getting such a look from him was irritating. "Thank you," John quickly said, shrugging off the weird incident and rushing to his room.

By the time he arrived he'd forgotten all about the servant and only thought about Rodney's gift. He unwrapped it, finding a polished steel dildo. A _huge_ polished steel dildo. Well, it wasn't actually that big. It was smaller than John's member when it was hard, but still a lot bigger than anything John had pushed inside his ass and everything he'd inserted into himself had taken quite a bit of patience.

John gulped thinking about taking the dildo in the form of Rodney's stiff member inside him. He closed his eyes for a moment, remembering the feel of Rodney's hard cock in his mouth and on his tongue. He thought about the wonderful noises Rodney had made.

Oh, yes, he definitely looked forward to relaxing his body enough to be able to take Rodney inside him whenever they wanted. However, he also knew that it would take time. Specifically, it would take longer than the half hour that he had before his cooking class, so John had no choice but to postpone his training for Rodney's cock until later that night.

Looking down at himself, though, where his pants were tented in an unmistakable way, he realized that he was in no shape to leave his room. He could try to talk his hard member down, or he could get rid of his erection in more pleasurable ways.

John quickly shed his pants and lay down on the bed, taking his own cock in one hand and Rodney's replica in the other. While he quickly stroked himself with one hand, he used the other to push the tip of Rodney's cock on the pleasurable spot under his balls. It was a bit colder than his skin, but that wasn't entirely a bad feeling. He kept stroking his erect member and rubbing his perineum with Rodney's cock. Imagining Rodney here with him, John was quickly overwhelmed and came, panting loud as he came down.

He could only hope that had been enough to keep him under control until that evening, when he had time to really play with Rodney's gift.

~~

All throughout the day, John found himself randomly flushing whenever he thought about the dildo. He was glad when he was done with his chores after dinner and could disappear into his room. He placed a bowl of grease on his nightstand and then settled down on the bed with Rodney's gift.

He felt his face heating up as he contemplated how to go about this the best way. Ignoring the mechanics for a moment, John decided to read one of Rodney's more detailed fantasies where he fucked John.

He put the dildo aside for the time being and started by stroking his nipples, imagining Rodney was touching him. Looking at the portrait of Rodney, John imagined his master leaning down to kiss and lick his nipple, then down his body to his stiffening member. 

He took it in his hand, lightly stroking up and down. He read Rodney's words, detailing how he would let his tongue play with the crown of John's cock. John licked his fingers and started running the tips over his member as a pointed tongue would. Groaning in impatience, he took his cock in a hard grip, giving himself a few jerks.

Precome started to accumulate at the tip and he spread it around with his thumb, gasping as he imagined Rodney's tongue licking it off.

He let go of his erection and took a few calming breaths. He didn't want to come without Rodney's cock inside of him. Turning around, he dipped his fingers in the bowl of grease. He lay back down, bent his knees, and spread his legs, then started to finger himself.

He closed his eyes and imagined Rodney between his knees, eagerly playing with John's asshole to prepare him for Rodney's cock. John bit his lip and pushed one finger inside himself. He'd practiced enough that it wasn't a problem with lubrication. He pulled the finger back out and tried with two, which was more of a challenge. John tried to relax his muscles to allow his fingers to push in. He managed to insert them to the second knuckle.

He let the two fingers stretch him for a while, lightly stroking his dick, which was flagging slightly. After a while he pulled out his fingers and flipped onto his stomach. He put more grease on his fingers and lifted up his ass, half-kneeling on the bed, his head resting on a pillow as he reached back between his legs to insert three fingers.

He kept pushing and stroking his cock with his other hand, his whole body tense except the muscles in his ass which he tried to relax. He groaned when he managed to force the fingers inside, panting at the feeling of fullness. He stayed like that for a moment, simply breathing as his muscles got used to the intrusion.

He hadn't yet touched his prostate, but he knew that Rodney's cock would go deep enough if he managed to fit it in. It was definitely larger than three fingers, though, so it would be a tight fit. A _really_ tight fit. John's cock twitched at the thought of how completely he'd be filled.

After another deep breath, John pulled out his fingers. He took the dildo in his hand and started covering it in grease. He recalled the feeling of having Rodney's cock in his mouth, his taste as he shot his come down John's throat.

John couldn't wait to do this with Rodney. To be able to suck him before being fucked. To be able to kiss him and touch him and feel his weight on top of him. It would be glorious. And the preparation he was doing now would make it even better because he wouldn't have to worry about not being able to take Rodney's cock inside him.

After thoroughly covering the dildo in grease, John placed it on the bed between his legs and squatted down on it, letting the tip push against his entrance. God, it was huge. John took several breaths and tried to force himself to relax. He wanted to be able to take Rodney. He wanted to be ready for Rodney whenever he decided he wanted to bend John over a desk and fuck him.

John put his full weight on the dildo and let it sink into his body. "God," he groaned out loud. Rodney's steel cock was stretching him like he'd never been stretched before. Millimeter by millimeter it went deeper and deeper. John closed his eyes, imagining that he was straddling Rodney, taking his master's cock inside for both of their pleasures. Rodney would look strained or blissed out or maybe impatient as John took more and more of him inside.

When the dildo was deep enough to push against his prostate, John groaned and started quickly jacking off his cock. He started moving his hips up and down so that the bulbous head of Rodney's cock would stroke his prostrate again and again. Oh god, this was amazing. He was so full. So full and hard, and it was Rodney's cock inside of him and it felt so good, so incredible.

John moaned Rodney's name, stripping his cock until he couldn't hold back any longer and came, shooting jets of come onto his chest and hand and the bed and oh, god, so, so good.

John collapsed and let the dildo slip from ass, only able to push it aside a bit before he closed his eyes and exhaustion claimed him.

~~

John felt extremely content the next morning, even if his ass felt a bit uncomfortable when he sat up. He'd definitely work on getting used to being fucked.

That morning he couldn't help flushing whenever someone looked at him, as if they could see on his face or the way he moved what he'd done the night before. John knew that he was being paranoid and tried to shake the thought off, instead composing a letter to Rodney in his head.

Once again he wished he were as eloquent as Rodney. Rodney would describe in great detail what he'd done and how it had made him feel. John on the other hand only managed to thank Rodney for his wonderful gift. He forced himself to write down what he'd done, even if only briefly, because he knew it would delight Rodney to read it.

"And I'm looking forward to the day when it will be your cock that fills me," John finished the letter, his face heating up even though he was alone in his room.

When Rodney answered, he was pleased that John had liked the gift so much. Then he went on to describe his own fantasy of what he imagined John did with the dildo. As always, Rodney's words ignited John's body, and that night he lived out scenes from Rodney's imagination.

From then on Rodney mixed up his previous fantasies of having sex with John with fantasies about John fucking himself with the dildo and in some cases Rodney fucking John with the dildo. It made John's training on the dildo as pleasurable and personal as it could be without Rodney actually being there in person, something that John longed to finally experience.

Fortunately, time flew by. John was busy with his classes, his cooking, creating several iterations of documentation for the portable lab, doing some experiments, fixing or crafting things for himself or his fellow body servants in training, and keeping up with the books and correspondence that Rodney still sent as frequently as ever.

The documentation for the lab was a challenge. It sometimes took several letters back and forth until John had described something in exactly the way Rodney wanted. John struggled with the drawings that accompanied the text as well. He wasn't a natural artist, and he hadn't taken any classes in drawing or art. Thankfully the body servant in training who'd been such an ardent admirer of Mr. Rovus offered to give John some tips when he saw John's sketches, after asking to use the lab to make a water holder for his easel. His name was Graham, and John soon found himself doing many studies of his lab in addition to everything else he was doing.

Graham gave him some tips on how to work with pencil and quill and how to choose the best perspective, and told him that it would be helpful if he broke up more complex elements into different illustrations. John didn't think he was ever going to be an artist, but eventually he got to the point where he felt the illustrations really complemented the text and documented what the portable lab was and how it worked.

When Rodney declared that he was satisfied with the documentation and planned to submit it to the patent office along with his technical notes, John felt a sense of accomplishment that was entirely unfamiliar to him.

While he'd been kept busy every day he'd lived at the Academy, he'd never really done anything of value. True, the chores that he and the others did were necessary, and he felt responsible for doing an adequate job on them, but if he'd been kicked out of the Academy on any given day, the chores would have been done by someone else and nobody would have noticed a difference. Even the experiments in the lab felt like he was just following Rodney's or Dr. Frederickson's suggestions or doing something obvious. It was more like playing with a toy than actually _creating_ something.

This was different. Completing the documentation had taken not just skill in understanding the components of the lab, but also the ability to put it into concise words and illustrate it. It took talent in several areas _and_ the patience and tenacity to see it through to the end. This wasn't something that any of the other body servants in training could have managed. He wasn't even sure if Rodney could—or would—have done it in so much detail.

John had felt pride before when he'd solved a particularly difficult equation or cooked something especially delicious, but this made him feel like...an individual. It wasn't that he was not unique. Everyone was. But his status as a servant determined his position in life, and that included limitations on what he was allowed to achieve no matter what he was capable of. Being part of Rodney's patent submission made him feel like a normal member of their society, not just a glorified slave.

And that was something that he would forever be grateful for and cherish.

~~

After the documentation was done, John found himself with a bit of free time. He used it to re-read Rodney's correspondence, especially his sex fantasies. He also daydreamed about their life together.

The McKays hadn't yet decided on a house for Rodney and him. Rodney wanted something that was close to the lab, his father and sister wanted something that was close to them. Apparently they hadn't been able to compromise so far, and John certainly wasn't going to get into that fight.

He was going to spent most of his time with Rodney, obviously, but he expected the McKays to visit every now and then, and he didn't want to get on their bad side. It was probably Dr. McKay's reputation that had saved him from becoming Drake's body servant.

Besides, he could understand the McKays' wish to be close to Rodney. John felt that only Rodney's privileged ability to see them whenever he wanted made him so indifferent. John hadn't seen or heard of his mother and his little half-brother since he'd been picked for the Academy. He didn't even know if they were alive or dead.

But pointing that out to Rodney would only make him feel bad, so John didn't. Rodney was very brusque and at times self-centered, but when he became aware of something that John didn't have and he took for granted, he tried to solve the issue. It had been like that with food and the resources Rodney sent for the lab. John being able to see his family, however, wasn't something that Rodney could solve for him.

And truthfully, John tried not to think about it too much either. It was simply one of the realities of his life.

Instead, he tried to focus on his future. Even if he didn't know what their house would look like, John still tried to imagine his life with Rodney—working together, eating together, and having sex. Mostly the latter.

~~

About three months before the end of his time at the Academy, John was called into the mail room one afternoon. It was unusual because they normally got their mail in the mornings.

The mail servant gave him a sour look and only pointed at the messenger.

"Are you John Sheppard?" the messenger asked. "I'm only allowed to deliver this in person."

"Yes, I am. What is it?" John asked.

"I don't know. You'll have to sign here."

"Uhm, okay." John signed the paper that the messenger handed him. He couldn't remember ever signing anything in his life, and this thing looked official. He saw the seal of Atlantia at the top, and below that the words _Atlantia Patent Office_.

John was stunned. The messenger gave him the flat package and John opened it, hardly able to believe his eyes. It was a framed document, an official notice of a granted patent. It included the title, number, and description of Rodney's portable lab and then the name of the inventors: _Rodney McKay, John Sheppard (documentation)_.

John nearly dropped the frame, then held on to it for dear life. Rodney had actually put his name on the patent submission.

"Good news, sir?" the messenger asked.

"Fantastic," John said after a moment, still stunned. Then a wide grin started to spread on his face. The messenger grinned back.

"Have a good day, sir," he said, then nodded and left.

John felt like running around and showing everyone his— _his_ —patent notice. He turned to the mail servant who looked at him with a clenched jaw. John had no idea what his problem was, but he didn't care. Instead he left the room and went to find Graham to thank him for his help.

The other body servants in training were duly impressed and genuinely happy for him. It helped that they were friendly with John. He didn't actually run around and tell everyone, but he needed to share the news with _someone_. After coming down from the immediate high, he went to his room to compose a thank you letter to Rodney, though no words seemed adequate. In the end John settled on telling Rodney exactly that.

Rodney's reply was dismissive. "The documentation was primarily your work. It was only fair and correct to note it as such on the application. Though if you feel the need to thank me, you have three months to think of something."

John smiled. Everything he did in terms of training was to better serve Rodney when the time came. And John didn't mind it one bit.

~~

Shortly after getting the patent notice, John received word from Rodney that the McKays had finally settled on a home for them. He listed the address and the basic information about the house. For some reason, it wasn't until he actually learned the location of his new home that the full impact of this change began to sink in for John.

His daydreams before had been vaguer about their surroundings and involved mostly Rodney and himself. Now he became aware that he didn't even know the street where his new home was, let alone the most basic things like where he would find the shops to buy food and other necessities.

Panic set in when he tried to think through a week of his new life and to list all the tasks he'd have to perform. He realized that he didn't know how similar domestic ovens were to the ones he had here in his cooking class or how to clean them. He didn't know how and when the ice for the icebox was delivered. Would it have to be ordered or did they drop by every house? He didn't know how to work a washing machine or how to get rid of various kinds of stains on clothes and furniture. While he knew about different ingredients for meals, he didn't know about the current prices for them or their availability in Atlantean shops. He knew nothing about obtaining soap or other cleaning materials. And it occurred to him that he would have to make sure that anything he used for cleaning didn't contain citrus extracts.

Thankfully, there were other body servants in training who had taken the classes that specialized in running a household. His generosity in sharing his lab with others paid off in spades now, and John had a whole circle of body servants in training who gave him condensed versions of what they'd learned and answered his questions.

John learned about the latest washing machines where you only had to turn a crank to move the clothes around. He made a mental note about combining one with a motor like the one in his lab—surely there had to be a way to make this fully automatic. Though if he was unlucky and the house wasn't equipped with the latest conveniences, he'd have to fill a tub with heated water by hand and stir the clothes directly with a paddle.

As he'd feared, citrus was a common ingredient in washing powder and soap. So one of his fellow body servants in training asked their teacher for advice on how to avoid it.

John was grateful for any help he could get. He filled a notebook with lists of which substances worked best to remove which stains, average prices for ingredients and other household items, and maps of the city with some general information about the areas and shops in particular.

He also tried to learn some history, and the names of the most influential families, companies, and institutions. It wasn't something that would be important for him directly, but he wanted to be able to put a name into context if Rodney mentioned it.

The nice side-effect of his efforts was that time flew by, and before John knew it, the time until he'd leave the Academy and move in with Rodney could be measured in days rather than months.

John was glad that his preparations were able to distract him from the anticipation of living with Rodney. They still wrote each other every day. Rodney began to start his sexual fantasies with, "Once we're living together..." When John had enough time to really think about what was awaiting him in a few weeks, his heart raced in anticipation.

The memory of the one and only time he'd gotten to taste Rodney had faded, though he still clearly remembered the feeling. Soon enough he'd be able to have that as often as they wanted—that and so much more. Everything Rodney had described in his letters, and all the little things that he hadn't. Even the thought of preparing food in the kitchen while Rodney worked on a new theory in his study brought a smile to John's face.

He still couldn't quite grasp how lucky he'd been. A few of his fellow body servants in training were terrified of the day they'd be at their master's mercy for the foreseeable future. John felt bad for them, but he didn't dwell on the feeling because he couldn't help them. And thankfully most of the body servants in training didn't fear their future.

They would all leave the confines of the Academy, with its strict rules but also its comfortable safety. Their lives would be different. Some for the better, some for worse, in different proportions for each body servant.

John was very lucky, and he knew it.

~~

It was a week before the great day when the mail servant asked John to come into the little room where he stored the bigger packages. John didn't think anything of it, since Rodney sometimes sent large packages for the lab or for John's cooking. However, when he entered the room, it was empty.

John looked up, but the mail servant closed the door and blocked it with his body.

John swallowed down the fear rising in him. The mail servant was a bit larger than he was, but John was still working out regularly and could probably take him. He would be fine. Hopefully.

The mail servant just looked at John in that strange calculating way that he'd had since Rodney sent the dildo. John had never understood why the change had happened. He could think of absolutely nothing that he'd done to the mail servant to deserve the cold looks. And he had no idea what the guy wanted from him now.

"You're happy that you'll finally move in with your master, aren't you?" the mail servant asked.

John hesitated. He didn't know which direction this conversation was going, but it seemed like an innocent enough question. "Yes," he answered.

"I bet your master is looking forward to it too," the mail servant said.

John still didn't know what he was getting at. "You'd have to ask him," he said.

The mail servant smiled. "I think the gifts and the letters show very clearly how much he cares. Did you know that you receive more letters in a week from your master than some have gotten in the entire two years?"

John did know that. There were masters who only took a body servant because they had to. To them their body servants were just like any other servant, with whom they'd never correspond. And the body servants in question didn't necessarily mind that their masters didn't care about them. There were worse things.

"Do you love him?" the mail servant asked.

John's eyes widened. That had come completely out of left field. His mouth opened, but nothing came out. What the hell?

"Does he love you?" the mail servant continued softly. He didn't wait for John's answer—not that he would have. "Even if he does, it won't matter," he said, getting a far away look.

John had no idea at all what was happening here. Though for the moment it didn't look as if the mail servant was going to harm him.

The mail servant focused back on John. "My master loved me, and it didn't matter one bit. He still had to get married. And then everything changed."

John felt uncomfortable. He didn't think he wanted to hear this.

"We tried to steal a moment together whenever we could, but when they had their first child... When a master gets married, the wife is in charge of the servants. She wasn't unkind. She didn't know. But I couldn't bear to watch him every day but never be allowed to be alone with him, to touch him."

John squirmed. He _really_ didn't want to hear this. The longing in the mail servant's voice was heart-breaking.

"So I left. It was all he could do for me. Whatever happens next week, never forget that it won't last," the mail servant finished. "It doesn't matter how you feel or how _he_ feels. It won't matter that you love each other. So be prepared."

John hoped that this was all.

After a moment, the mail servant stepped aside and opened the door. John only gave him a look and quickly got out of there. He supposed he should have thanked him for the well-meant advice, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

The episode had been bizarre and didn't have anything to do with John's situation. Or so he tried to tell himself.

~~

The preparations in the last week left John little time to think, but he was still unable to put the mail servant's words out of his mind. He acted friendly toward John now, but John only took his mail and left.

He didn't _want_ to think about the mail servant's advice. But at night when he masturbated, thinking about Rodney, the question, "Do you love him?" came unbidden to John's mind.

Well, he didn't.

John appreciated the mail servant's concern but it was completely unnecessary. John wasn't a dreamer. He knew that being in love was a privilege for free people. He might have been daydreaming about life with Rodney, looking forward to it even, but he never ever forgot that he was a servant.

He couldn't.

There were too many restrictions in his life now _and_ in the future for him to ever forget that. There were things that he couldn't wear, places where he couldn't go. He would never be able to earn his own money. He would never be allowed to travel alone. There were theaters that were off limits to him, and even certain streets he wasn't allowed to walk down.

He was and would always be a slave—with a more pleasant designation.

John didn't know if the mail servant had believed that he and his master could be happily alone together forever. If he had, it had been because of his own denial, because the rules of their society were well-known. John wasn't going to forget them. He had a maximum of three years with Rodney, at which point his master would be expected to get married.

It was a fact of Atlantean life.

The mail servant might have meant well, but it had been entirely unnecessary for him to remind John of the truth of their lives.

~~

The problem with John's thinking was that it wasn't entirely the truth. Late at night when he'd stopped packing and lay in bed, he had to admit that even if he'd never dreamed about spending his life with Rodney and even if he would never forget his status as a servant, he hadn't exactly thought beyond living with Rodney either.

He'd fantasized about their life together: cooking for him, helping him with his work, having sex—but he hadn't wondered about what would happen if Rodney got married. _When_ Rodney got married.

Even worse, John realized that Rodney might not even want to wait the full three years until he was twenty-one to get married. He'd lamented more than once that his father wouldn't allow him to work in his lab until he married. Given Rodney's priorities it wasn't unthinkable that he would wish to marry as soon as possible, maybe as soon as he'd found a fiancée on his first Courting Day, a year from now.

John tried to tell himself that he would be okay with that, but the thought of Rodney fawning over a woman made him uncomfortable. He shook his head and reached over to his nightstand to retrieve his favorite letters from Rodney.

Thinking about his future was useless since he had no power over it either way. Rodney could decide to get married a week after moving into his new home, or he could wait until the full three years passed and he had no other choice. John would have to live with it.

He started reading the first letter, slipping his hand under his clothes. Soon he was able to forget everything but the images that Rodney's words evoked in his mind.

~~

As his time at the Academy drew to a close, John thought not only about his future but also his past. He'd spent half his life within these walls. He'd prepared for an uncertain future, always willing to risk his life and run away should that become the best option out of the few that he had. Truthfully, it had always only been a last option. The world outside of Atlantia and the other city-states offered freedom, but it came at the price of complete lack of law and order, and it meant that only the strongest or most cunning survived. He would have to fight hunger and bandits if he ran away, but he'd be free.

Since being Selected and then Confirmed by Rodney, John hadn't thought a lot about that option. It didn't seem necessary, but it was still there. And what it meant for him, had always meant for him, was that even if he wasn't allowed to be a free man, he would _take_ that little bit of freedom if he saw no other choice. As long as he had better options, though, he would make the best of them.

He would do his best with the limited choices he was given. And he could only do the same with Rodney.

It wouldn't be forever. Maybe he would leave the household when Rodney got married, maybe he wouldn't. John might not even have a say in the matter. But the fact of the matter was that this wasn't new to him. He'd been taken away from his mother as a boy and had learned his lesson then: he was little more than property when it came to his fate.

When it came to his actions, though, he might not always have a choice about _what_ he did, but he had choices about _how_ he did it. His life at the Academy had been a mixture of opportunities to learn and chores to perform, and sometimes the education had been a chore and a chore had taught him something useful.

Living with Rodney would come with its own set of challenges and opportunities. Just like he'd always done, he would manage them with his best judgment. He would run Rodney's household as well as he was able, and he would enjoy all the pleasures that Rodney would offer, as much as he could. That was the extent of his freedom.

If the mail servant's words had changed anything for him, it was to remind John to make the most of every day.

He would be a good servant to Rodney with his service and his body. He would cherish what his master had to offer. And he wouldn't fall in love. Not because Rodney wasn't a man who could inspire such affection and devotion.

It was simply that love was not for John. Not now and not ever.


	2. Book II: Master and Servant

When John woke up the morning he would move in with Rodney, he felt as if he'd already left the Academy.

He'd said goodbye to Graham and a few others the day before. He'd thanked the teachers who had taught him something valuable. Everything he owned had been packed up over the last week.

Thanks to Rodney's generosity it wasn't nearly as little as most other body servants had. The lab alone, even when assembled for transportation, was quite large, and then there were John's clothes, the objects he'd created with his lab, the books Rodney had sent him, and his portrait. The many, many sheets of paper included his exercises, notes, sketches, and most important of all, Rodney's correspondence.

John was among those with the most luggage, so his things had been taken to a storage room near the entrance of the Academy the night before.

His room was as bare as it had been when he'd moved in here, except for the clothes he planned to wear today.

Even though it was early, there were quite a few others who were eager to leave and already up and about.

David was among them. Drake had even sent him clothes for the occasion. The transition from body servant in training to body servant meant they would now be allowed to wear different clothing. David wore a simple suit that still looked well-made and expensive. It was the best that body servants were allowed to wear, for occasions when they served their masters in the presence of other gentlemen, so the sight of simple garments didn't offend their eyes.

John imagined that David would always wear the best a body servant could. David looked very proud as he ate his last breakfast at the Academy. Everything about him projected that he was better than these surroundings now, and glad of it. He didn't look at John once.

John didn't dwell on David's life after the Academy, though he said a silent thanks that he had escaped being in his position. No amount of luxury and comfort was worth having Drake as his master instead of Rodney.

After breakfast, John made his way to the entrance gate. A few of the other body servants—no longer in training—nodded at him in acknowledgement and goodbye. Some were visibly happy, some were visibly tense; John didn't let either stop him and stepped outside the building that had been his home for half his life.

It didn't really look different outside. The weather was as sunny as inside. Opposite the Academy a long wall stretched down the street. There were carriages lined up today, waiting to carry the body servants to their masters. It was a normal day in Atlantia.

And he finally got to be a part of it.

John was surprised that the moment he stepped out of the Academy, his life there became history. He thought only of the house that was waiting for him, the duties that he had now, and what he still had to do before Rodney came home for the first time.

It was exhilarating.

His luggage had been loaded into a carriage. Rodney had ordered one with a special compartment for the lab to avoid the problems he'd had when he'd brought it to John for Confirmation a year ago.

John was about to step in when he felt he was being watched. He turned around and saw Drake staring at him with the same hunger he'd displayed since he'd first seen John two years ago. David stood next to him, looking at the ground.

John hoped that Drake would treat David well. He hoped that being Drake's body servant would be everything David expected. And he hoped that Drake would get over his obsession with John. He was sure that David would be more than happy to fulfill any of Drake's sexual wishes.

Drake would never be able to have John. Rodney would make sure of that. But they might run into each other at some events, certainly on the first Courting Day. It would be better for all involved if Drake simply let go.

Not that John thought it would happen. Two years was a long time for a spoilt young adult, but that time had apparently done nothing to change Drake's obsession.

It didn't matter. John had more important things to tend to. He had a new life to live.

Without another look back, he entered the carriage and gave the sign to go.

~~

At John's request Rodney had sent plans for their new home, so John knew the layout of the rooms. It was still impressive to walk through the archway and enter the place where he would spend most of his time for the foreseeable future.

Their new home was a family townhouse, located between the residence of Rodney's father and sister and McKay Laboratories. It wasn't as large as some of the wealthier houses in the neighborhoods but it was in the center of Atlantia, so public places of interest were close by.

The house was furnished with all the necessities, but Rodney had told him that furnishings would be sparse. His father said that it would be up to them to make it their home or wait until Rodney got married and his wife redecorated it to her tastes.

When John stepped in, he didn't find it sparse at all. Maybe it was because John was used to the Academy, which was largely devoid of decoration, but at first glance he couldn't think of anything he would add.

The entrance led into the atrium. The central part without a roof was separated from the rest of the area by half-walls on two sides. John walked to take a look at the center while a servant brought in his things. Rodney had left instructions about where to place everything, so John could take a look around.

Boxwood was planted at the corners of the open area around the impluvium. The living room was to the right of the entrance, sunken below ground level and accessed by wide stairs leading down from the atrium. The living area had seating on the left and a dining area on the right.

John felt it was far too large for one person—or two—to eat in. He didn't go down into the living room but entered the kitchen instead.

The kitchen was large, but felt homey. John opened up the icebox to find a supply of meat. There were spices lined up on a little shelf on the wall, and when he opened a cupboard he found it half-filled with potatoes, flour, sugar, and various other ingredients.

It didn't look like he'd have to go shopping today which was a relief, because it meant John could concentrate on getting used to his new kitchen and preparing a good meal for Rodney and their guests today.

Rodney had told him that he would arrive at 11:30, while his father and sister would join them an hour later for lunch. It was still early so John wouldn't have to hurry, but the oven was different than the ones at the Academy and John didn't yet know where all the utensils were.

The servant who'd carried in the things approached him. "I've placed your luggage according to Master Rodney's wishes. I've been instructed to explain the plumbing and everything else to you."

John only nodded and listened.

~~

After going through everything that needed to be done in terms of maintenance of the house, John didn't have a lot of time left to cook lunch. He was really glad that he'd taken the cooking classes at the Academy, as otherwise he would have had to serve bread with some raw vegetables for lunch.

He quickly opened up all drawers and cupboards in the hopes that it would be enough to remind him where everything was in case he needed it. Thankfully the preparation went without any major mishaps.

The good thing about having to learn about his new house and cooking lunch was that it distracted him from the fact that he was about to see Rodney again.

John had thought about their reunion with increasing frequency at the Academy. He'd masturbated two times the night before, imagining how Rodney would fuck him. Now the day was finally here, and John set the food to simmer and went to prepare himself.

He wasn't sure if Rodney actually meant to fuck him as soon as he came in the door. He'd written fantasies about that, but this was reality and Rodney might be hungry or want to wait until after his family left. John would be fine with that. He could excuse himself and jerk off if that was the case, but if Rodney did want to bend him over and fuck him, John wanted to be prepared for it.

He went upstairs to look for the grease he liked to use to prepare himself. He hadn't looked in the living quarters yet so he wasn't certain which room he'd find it in. Recalling the floor plan, John opened the last room in the corner. It was the room designated for the body servant, and it included a narrow bed, a desk, and some cupboards for his things.

Or at least it had, according to the plan. When John entered he saw the bed, but instead of the desk there was a large shelf filled with bottles and what looked like lab resources. John opened a cupboard and found bound notebooks. Rodney had written titles on top, like "Thermal Contact Conductance" or "High-refractive-index Materials".

John's things were nowhere in sight, however.

John wondered if maybe Rodney had decided on a different layout for the rooms. He checked the room between the body servant's room and the master's bedroom and found a study as expected, except it had two desks. Next to one John saw his portable lab. The other desk was apparently Rodney's—it was stacked with smaller gadgets. A workbench opposite Rodney's desk contained larger machinery, like a larger replica of John's little lab oven.

John smiled at the thought of working here with Rodney. He removed the compartment of his portable lab that contained the grease and looked around the room. He could undress here and prepare himself, but it seemed a bit awkward and he would like to use the dildo to really be loose enough for Rodney to slide his cock right in.

John quickly looked into the master bedroom, just to make sure that it really was where he expected. He was about to take another flight upstairs to see if his room was among the spare rooms on the top floor when he noticed Rodney's portrait on a chest of drawers.

They had never discussed sleeping arrangements—or any of the details of their life together—in their letters. Rodney had written more than one fantasy about them having sex in bed, often right after waking up.

John took a chance and opened the cupboards to see if he would find his things here.

The first cupboard contained Rodney's clothes, but the second was John's. Boxes with his clothes had been placed there. A little thrill went through John. Rodney apparently wanted them to share the master bedroom. He'd heard that this was the case with body servants sometimes, but it was rare. John would make sure to enjoy it as long as it lasted.

He tried to shush any thoughts of the future when Rodney would find a wife and John would have to make room so she could take her rightful place at Rodney's side and in his bed. If he was lucky he still had three years until that day.

John located Rodney's dildo in one of the boxes and proceeded to lie on the bed to prepare himself for his master.

~~

At eleven thirty John stood in the atrium waiting for Rodney's arrival.

He was stretched and greased and more than half-hard. His loose pants did nothing to hide his state of arousal, and John fervently hoped that Rodney's family hadn't changed their minds about accompanying Rodney.

The minutes ticked by, and John wondered if it would be better to return to the kitchen and occupy himself. After all, the one time he'd waited for Rodney at Confirmation, his master had been spectacularly late. Rodney had had a good reason, but maybe he tended to be late in general.

Then John heard the noise of a key being pushed into the lock and a moment later Rodney entered.

"They wouldn't let me go," he said with an exasperated sigh. "I have no idea why. It's not as if I'm leaving Atlantia. I'll be forced to visit them at least once a month, probably mo—" Rodney stopped abruptly, his gaze focused on John's crotch before he blinked and looked at John's face.

"I...uh...wanted to be prepared in case you..." John felt himself flush. "I can take care of it, and we can have lunch," he quickly said.

He was about to turn, when Rodney grabbed his arm to stop him. "I've been waiting for this moment for months," he whispered harshly into John's ear. "Have you really prepared yourself for me?"

John turned to him, looking into blue eyes that sparkled with desire. "You can bend me over and fuck me."

Rodney moaned and pulled John into a heated kiss.

God, this was wonderful. And unlike the last time, they wouldn't have to wait another year to do this again. John kissed Rodney back eagerly. He'd fantasized about this for two years, and it was so good. Rodney's hands were everywhere. They ran through his hair, down his back, and when Rodney pushed them into John's pants and cupped his ass, he groaned.

"You really did prepare yourself," Rodney said, fingering John's greased entrance.

"I fucked myself with your dildo," John said. "But I didn't come yet."

Rodney thrust his hard cock against John's body, grunting, "You will. You will in no time." He pulled his hands from John's ass and looked around, his eyes falling on the bench opposite the entrance. He nudged John towards the bench and pushed down John's pants and underwear, standing close behind him, pressing his still covered erection against John's ass. "Kneel on it," he said into John's ear.

John slipped out of his sandals and stepped out of his pants and underwear, kneeling on the bench, his legs spread.

Rodney made an unintelligible sound, and when John turned his head to look at him, he saw Rodney scrambling to undo his own pants and push down his underwear. He didn't even bother to get out of them, simply took his cock in hand and looked at John.

John licked his lips. As promised Rodney's cock was slightly larger than the dildo he'd used during his time at the Academy and to prepare himself today. He couldn't wait to feel it inside of him. He spread his legs even further. "Fuck me, master."

Rodney growled and positioned himself behind John. John took a deep breath, and then Rodney pushed in. He didn't go slow. He kept going and going, filling John with his cock until he bottomed out. "You are so tight," he said in a strained voice.

"You're big," John said.

"You're amazing," Rodney said. "I want to fuck you every day."

"Please," John said. "Please move," he amended, because he was already this close to coming, and he didn't want to come before Rodney did.

Rodney started fucking him with long hard thrusts, making John groan. God, this was fantastic. Using the dildo on himself had never been like this. He'd never managed to get the speed or depth. Rodney felt so fucking huge inside of him. John met every single one of Rodney's thrusts, trying to get him as deep as possible. He'd never get enough of this.

He wanted Rodney to fuck him like this every day for the rest of their lives.

"I don't think I'll last for much longer," Rodney said, reaching around to grab John's cock.

That was all it took. John's cock jerked in Rodney's hand, his seed spurting onto the bench and the railing of the half-wall behind it. He squeezed his ass muscles around Rodney's cock, and after a few more thrusts he felt Rodney freeze.

"John!" Rodney shouted, pumping his seed into John. Then he collapsed on John's back, his cock slipping out of John.

They were both panting and sweating. Rodney's seed began to run down John's thighs. "We need to clean up."

"I'll tell my father and Jeannie to come back another day," Rodney said.

"I've cooked lunch for all of you," John said.

"Oh," Rodney said, perking up. He lifted himself off of John's back.

John straightened and gingerly got off the bench.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Rodney asked, worried.

"No, just not used to it. Yet," John said.

Rodney grinned. "Well, you should get used to it."

"I will," John said, smiling at him.

Rodney kissed him again. Before things could get out of control again, John pulled back. "We really should clean up."

"Will you bathe with me?" Rodney asked, still peppering John's mouth with kisses.

John thought about the large sunken hot water pool in the master bathroom. He could imagine spending hours there with Rodney, but unfortunately, they didn't have hours before Rodney's family came for lunch. "Next time," he promised.

Rodney's expression became thoughtful. "You did enjoy it, didn't you? You don't have to say you did if you d—"

"I did," John interrupted him. "And I'd love to bathe with you, but I'm not sure we'd leave it at cleaning up, and I wouldn't want your father and little sister to come in and find the bench like this and then wander through the house until they stumble into the bath."

"They don't have keys," Rodney said.

"Rodney," John said.

For some reason, Rodney lit up at that. "I was afraid you were going to keep calling me master," he said.

"When did I call you master?" John asked.

"When you asked me to fuck you," Rodney said, his voice deepening.

John's eyes dipped to Rodney's lips. He was tempted to agree with Rodney's plan and let him send his family away, but he didn't want to make a bad impression, and he _had_ cooked for four with food to spare. "We'll have time once they leave," he reminded Rodney.

"All right," Rodney conceded. "And I have to admit I'm hungry."

"We can eat as soon as your family arrives," John told him.

~~

By the time Andrew and Jeannie McKay were due to arrive, John had scrubbed himself and the bench and railing and floor, making sure there was no evidence left that Rodney had fucked him the moment he'd stepped through the door. He tried not to think about how great it had been, what they'd do once they were alone again, _or_ that Rodney was upstairs and naked and wet.

John checked on the food once he was satisfied that the entrance area was pristine. He was glad to see that it had kept warm, but wasn't overcooked. His cooking classes really had paid off, though he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to impress the McKays. They were a wealthy family and had several servants, most of whom were probably trained to be best at what they did.

But he still wanted them to think that he was going to take good care of Rodney.

"Hmm, smells good," Rodney said, stepping into the kitchen. He leaned over John's shoulder. John shuddered at the closeness. He told himself to focus.

"I'll serve lunch as soon as they're here," John told him. "Oh, I still need to set the table." He'd completely forgotten about that. He looked for the plates and got the right cupboard on the second try. After a moment of hesitation he got out three plates.

"What about you?" Rodney asked.

John hadn't wanted to assume. "I'll join you if that's what you want."

Rodney put his hand on John's wrist. "It's what I want," he said quietly but firmly.

John nodded and got another plate. Then he collected glasses and the cutlery while Rodney checked on the food again. "What are the chances that the steaks will be intact when I return?" John asked, smirking while he placed the dishes in the dumbwaiter that allowed him to conveniently transport food and other objects from the kitchen down to the living room (or up to the master bedroom and bath).

"They're very good," Rodney said. "Unfortunately, I didn't pay attention when you found the knives."

John grinned. He lowered the tableware down the dumbwaiter, then on his way out the door opened the drawer with the cutlery.

"Now you're just tempting me," Rodney called after him.

"'Now'?" John called back, thinking of their earlier activities. He quickly placed the dishes and utensils in what he hoped were the correct positions. He'd made a sketch of it somewhere in his notes, but he didn't have the time to find it. Once he was satisfied, he took a critical look at the table. It seemed awfully bare.

He remembered that they had a garden terrace. The servant that had explained the plumbing to him had mentioned that there was a drain on the terrace but they hadn't actually taken a look.

John quickly walked up the stairs, glancing towards the kitchen where Rodney stood looking innocent. John only rolled his eyes and crossed the atrium, looking up at the sky for a second before heading out the large door to the terrace.

The terrace looked out to a courtyard filled with cypress trees, protecting them from a direct view of their neighbors. The small garden area in the courtyard that belonged to their house contained only grass, but there were a few plants on the terrace itself.

John saw tomatoes and a few herbs, but also a few flowers. Whoever had planted them had stopped at the basics, leaving room for John and Rodney to make it their own—not that John thought Rodney would get actively involved with the garden. That seemed like the kind of thing that was a complete waste of time to him.

In fact, Rodney had once written him about the time he'd blown up a flowerbed along with Jeannie's doll house when he was eight and experimenting with chemistry. His main complaint about the event had been that his father hadn't believed him when he said he hadn't done it on purpose—blowing up Jeannie's doll house, not the explosion. He'd only meant to destroy the flower pot containing the explosives.

It seemed certain that Rodney had no interest in flowers, so it would be up to John to decide whether he wanted them or not. John had learned to appreciate fresh fruits and vegetables from the gardens at the Academy. He wasn't as certain about flowers, but for occasions such as this one, they certainly served a purpose.

He went into the room next to the terrace, where gardening and other tools were stored, and brought out garden clippers to cut off a few flowers as decoration for the table. John vaguely recalled something about cutting them off diagonally instead of horizontally. He'd made a note somewhere.

He really needed to go through all his notes and compile them into books with tables of contents. He'd honestly forgotten most of what the others had told him when they'd tried to distill two years worth of household teachings into two months of evening tutoring. That was why he'd made copious notes.

He set the garden clippers on a cabinet in the terrace and went through the door that connected the terrace to the kitchen. Rodney hastily straightened and closed the cupboard that he'd been inspecting. "Looking for something?" John asked, putting down the flowers to look for a suitable vase.

"There doesn't seem to be any dessert," Rodney said. "Not that I'm complaining. I know that you only arrived this morning, so you probably haven't had time to make the little cakes." He made cake shaped gestures with his hand.

"Do you know where the vases are?" John asked.

"Vases?" Rodney looked at him as if John was asking how to hunt unicorns.

John took the flowers with him to the living room. He looked around and opened some of the cabinets, finding linen, more sets of dishes, candles, but no vases. He was about to arrange the blossoms in a bowl when he spied a nearly invisible door near the wall. He opened it and found a storage room with more linens, additional chairs, cleaning utensils, and vases.

John quickly picked the one that best fit the flowers and filled it with water from a tap in the storage room. He guessed it came from the water basin below the atrium where the rain water was collected.

After placing the flowers on the table and adding some candles, John was satisfied with how it looked. This was only an informal lunch, and he hoped that Rodney's family would make some allowances for the fact that they'd only moved in a few hours ago.

"Was this part of your optional classes?" Rodney asked from the atrium, looking down into the living room.

"I told you I only took cooking classes," John reminded him, walking towards Rodney. "But I asked the other body servants a few questions about what they'd learned."

"It's not that I don't appreciate...that," Rodney said, gesturing towards the decorated table, "but I don't really care about flowers or candles."

John took the stairs, coming to stand next to Rodney. "I know you don't. But I think your father and sister might."

"Ah," Rodney said. "Wait, you're trying to impress them? You're not _their_ body servant. Not that I think of you as a servant..."

John was touched by the thought. And he actually believed that Rodney didn't think of John as a servant. At least not consciously. But the truth was he was and would always be, so John needed to keep that in mind for _both_ of them. " _They'll_ think of me as your servant because that's what I am. And I intend to be a good one."

Rodney looked slightly hurt but didn't say anything.

"I did make dessert," John said, taking Rodney's hand. "It's in the icebox."

"John," Rodney said, squeezing John's hand. Before he could say anything else, the bell rang.

John let go of Rodney's hand to open the door for their first guests.

~~

Even if Rodney didn't care what his family thought of his life with John, John did, which was why he was relieved when lunch passed without any major mishaps.

Andrew McKay was rational to the point of seeming unfeeling, though every now and then a bit of affection and pride in his children peeked through. He gave John a quick once over when John let them in.

John didn't know what Dr. McKay thought of him and if he suspected the sexual component of his son's new life with his body servant. He doubted that Rodney had shared that information. But Dr. McKay had to know about the commission for John's portrait. It must have been expensive, and the painting had been brought to the McKay residence; he doubted Rodney could have hidden it. Not that there was anything sexual about the portrait, but his father might have wondered why Rodney wanted it, and it wasn't a secret that body servants often performed sexual services.

If Rodney's father had any opinion, he hadn't shown it.

They talked a bit about the house but then switched to work. Rodney was helping with research for one of the projects at McKay Laboratories and once again lamented that he wasn't allowed to work there.

His father cut that discussion off with a terse, "We've talked about it. I forbid it. You'll wait until you're married like everyone else."

Rodney sulked, but didn't press it. They talked about more general scientific discoveries then.

John could follow much of it, though he didn't say much. To his surprise Jeannie began to participate more as the meal went on.

She'd remained silent most of the time, even as she fidgeted with the obvious desire to speak. John hadn't been sure if it was shyness or some unspoken protocol. As lunch went on, he ruled out the former. Jeannie was every bit as opinionated as her brother. She also seemed to be very smart and able to follow as much of the conversation as John even though she was four years younger.

John wasn't quite certain if her earlier silence was in deference to her father's expectations or if her father had been more strict with her about being respectful.

For all that she was a lot like Rodney, she was more aware of her surroundings and complimented John on the flowers and the food. She seemed to be a bit surprised that it wasn't simply edible. She obviously knew where her brother's priorities lay in that regard, and the way she complimented John showed that she disapproved of Rodney's priorities.

Rodney for his part focused on the conversation, waving his hands around for emphasis in a way that was still mesmerizing to John. While Rodney talked and listened, he shoveled food into his mouth, making no comment on it at all except when John served the chocolate-glazed fruits.

Rodney moaned in satisfaction when he put the first piece in his mouth. He gave John a wide smile.

After lunch the McKays promised to visit them again soon, though Jeannie made it clear that she was aware they would need time to get settled.

"If you need anything, send a messenger," she told John. "Or better yet, send my brother. I'm sure we'll never see him again unless he's forced."

"Oh, haha," Rodney said, glaring at her. "This is exactly why I'm glad I moved out."

"Thank you very much for your offer, Miss McKay," John said with a smile.

Jeannie grinned at him. "You're very welcome, John. I'm looking forward to seeing you again." Then she turned to her brother, gave him an arrogant look, and left without another word to him.

"She's such a child," Rodney said.

"You both are," Dr. McKay commented. "Though I hope that John will make sure that you won't get yourself in trouble with your new-found freedom."

Rodney looked slightly displeased, but didn't say anything. John wondered if Dr. McKay's words had been a compliment to him. He decided to take them as one. And he certainly would do his best to keep Rodney out of trouble, at least the dangerous kind.

"I'll send a messenger when I've completed my findings," Rodney said.

Dr. McKay nodded at him, then at John, and followed his daughter.

"Well, that should get rid of them for at least a week," Rodney said once they were gone.

John didn't say anything. He'd found lunch quite pleasant and interesting, and once he was more at home in the kitchen and the rest of the house, he thought he might enjoy having guests over. But of course it wasn't up to him.

Rodney turned to him, grinning seductively. "So...where were we?" he asked.

"Uhm, actually, I'd like to do the dishes before they dry up. And I have to take care of the leftovers," John said.

"Oh. I guess you're right. And actually, I should set up my lab if I want to finish my experiments this week. But tonight—" he said.

"I'm looking forward to it," John said.

Rodney quickly kissed him and walked up the stairs.

~~

After getting the kitchen in order, John went upstairs to look in on Rodney.

His master was bent over the workbench where he'd put together an experimental setup that looked more complicated than anything John had ever tried.

"Can I help you?" John asked even though Rodney looked like he had everything under control.

"No, no," Rodney said, absent-mindedly waving his hand as he added a new piece to his work.

John decided to unpack his boxes since he hadn't had time before.

He had finished his clothes and was sorting through his notes when Rodney called for him. John walked over, finding Rodney with a hand torch. "Can you hold these up for me?" Rodney asked.

John did as asked while Rodney soldered the pieces together. He explained what the pieces were supposed to do, but John wasn't certain what the purpose of the experiment was. When he asked, Rodney gave him a look then went into a lengthy explanation, at the end of which John had gathered that McKay Laboratories was looking into increasing the efficiency of electric motors to make them commercially viable.

John didn't pretend to understand everything that Rodney was telling him. He lacked the practical knowledge about various scientific fields, though he imagined that might change in the future. Even if he didn't understand everything, it was interesting to watch Rodney in his element.

John had always enjoyed the passion in Rodney's letters about his work, and to see the joy in his eyes when something worked was a pleasure.

Of course Rodney could also display impatience if things didn't work, and he had no qualms about correcting John harshly. Thankfully John felt well-prepared for this from Rodney's letters, so John found the insults as entertaining as expressions of joy.

They continued to work through the afternoon, until John pointed out that it was time to eat.

"Already?" Rodney said. He pulled a watch from his pocket to check the time. "Do you think you could just bring me something? I want to finish this today so that I can start with the actual tests tomorrow."

"Sure," John said and made his way to the kitchen.

He prepared some bread with meat and a few slices of tomatoes and put them on a tray, along with some wine and water. They ate in the study while Rodney kept working.

"My father would never allow me to eat in my lab at home. This is much more efficient," he said between mouthfuls.

"I imagine your father wanted your family to spend some time together, at least during meals," John said.

"I don't know what for. We lived in the same house. Surely I could have missed a single meal every now and then," Rodney said, adjusting a wire.

John thought that missing meals would have been a regular occurrence if allowed. In fact he mentally prepared himself for serving many of their meals right here. He also didn't comment on Rodney's dismissing his family. John didn't know if he would feel the same if he'd stayed with his mother and half-brother, but he was certain that Rodney wouldn't care about hearing that being surrounded by family was a privilege that some didn't have.

After dinner, John went back to his notes and continued sorting them by topic. When he had compiled them in different groups it was quite late, so he went to check on Rodney.

"It's not yet done?" he asked.

"Oh, no, it's been done for an hour. I'm just doing a few checks to see if it can be optimized," Rodney said. He checked his watch. "It's probably as good as it's going to get as long as my father won't allow me to use the real labs."

John waited for Rodney to lament the unfairness of it again, but instead he turned down the light and walked over to John.

"I guess it's time for bed," he said, coming so close to John that John could feel his breath.

Where their first coupling had been hard and fast, their second time was slower and gentle. Rodney used a cream he'd developed himself to prepare John. It had a slightly fruity smell, which seemed a bit inappropriate to John, but it certainly felt great when Rodney pushed his fingers inside John.

John lay on his back and moved his legs around Rodney as soon as he'd entered him. Rodney's cock felt as amazing as the first time. John lifted his hand to cup Rodney's flushed face. They moved together, driving each other to new heights.

It suddenly occurred to John that just last night, he'd still gone to bed at the Academy. It felt like a lifetime ago.

Now Rodney was thrusting into him, whispering John's name, and John found it hard to remember that things had ever not been like this.

~~

Of course, the next day reminded John of the fact that he had by no means settled in yet.

He was awake before Rodney, and for a little while he simply watched Rodney sleep. His hair was disheveled and there was a bit of drool on his lips, but there was something uncharacteristically peaceful about Rodney asleep that made it special. Eventually John decided to go downstairs to prepare breakfast. When he took more detailed stock of the kitchen, it occurred to him that his notes on shops in Atlantia would be useless as long as he had no money to actually buy anything.

He would have to ask Rodney for money, but Rodney would probably want to have a general idea of how much John needed, so John decided to start a list while brewing some coffee for Rodney.

He wasn't sure if Rodney wanted to sleep in or start to work, so he prepared a quick breakfast and went upstairs.

Rodney was still asleep but the smell of coffee seemed to stir him to wakefulness. He blinked at John and took the cup from him with a grunt of gratitude.

They ate in bed and by the end of breakfast, Rodney was awake enough to pull John into a kiss. Rodney tasted like coffee and he hadn't shaved yet.

John moved his hand to Rodney's interested dick, and after a few encouraging strokes, he whispered, "Can I taste you?"

Rodney only nodded eagerly and let John kiss his way down his body. In the year since John had first blown Rodney, he'd fantasized about blowing him again. He took his time licking and sucking Rodney's cock to complete hardness.

He kept it up until Rodney was incoherently calling something that included his name. Finally, John took him over the edge, reveling in the feeling of pushing Rodney to such heights.

Rodney panted, exhausted, but managed to find John's dick. A few hard strokes was all it took for John to come, spilling all over Rodney's hand and his stomach.

Rodney went back to work after breakfast, while John started the list of things he needed to buy, cross-referencing the shops the other body servants had told him about. After compiling a shopping list with the expected prices, John went into the study.

"Oh, you could help me," Rodney said when he saw John.

"Sure..." John said.

"Did you want something?" Rodney asked.

"Well, I'll need... The kitchen was stocked with basic things, but I have to buy everything fresh and I wanted to get a few specific things that we don't have," John said.

"Right," Rodney said, snapping his fingers. "Completely forgot about that. One moment."

He disappeared and came back a minute later, handing John a handful of bills. "This is your money for the month. You'll always get it as soon as I get the allowance from my father. I'm sorry I forgot about it."

John counted the money. "This is too much," he said. "I made a list and I have an idea about the prices. I'll never need this much."

"Then buy something for yourself," Rodney said. "It's only fair that you be compensated for the work you do. Please, John. I've calculated how to split my allowance and this is what I came up with."

"All right." John nodded.

"There's something else," Rodney said. He pulled out a short chain with a circle pendant. "I don't think of you as a servant as much as a friend and colleague. I hope you know that. In fact if you ever feel that I treat you like a servant, let me know. So I don't want you to think of this as a sign of ownership. Think of it as a form of...protection. It lets everyone know that if they have a problem with you they should take it up with me. And that they can expect to hear from me should they mistreat you." He looked at John hopefully.

John wasn't sure what to say. He hadn't heard about these pendants before and wasn't sure if they could be worn by any servants, or only by body servants. He was touched by Rodney's wish to protect him and not think of himself as John's owner. No matter that, for all intents and purposes, he was—he had complete power over John. But it didn't really matter to John because he'd never had this much autonomy before in his life and couldn't imagine he would ever have more. John was grateful that Rodney treated him like a person, grateful enough that he could let it slide that Rodney didn't seem to be aware that even though he might think of John as a friend and colleague, he still expected food to somehow turn up on the table.

Though Rodney had told him early on that he didn't expect anything fancy, just enough to survive. It had been John's decision to take cooking classes, just as it was his decision to take his responsibilities as a body servant seriously.

John didn't have an issue with wearing the pendant. He didn't know yet how he'd be treated outside of their home, so it would help to have the reassurance that he could claim Rodney as his master if he needed to. The pendant was small enough that he could wrap a wrist band around it so it wouldn't be immediately visible.

He held out his hand.

Rodney looked at him and carefully placed the chain around his wrist and closed the clasp. He flushed slightly before looking up at John again.

John smiled. "Thank you," he said, lifting the money. "Do you need my help or can I go to the market?"

Rodney looked at his work bench then back at John. "It's fine. I can take my own notes. Though I'd appreciate if you could transcribe a clean version of the results."

John could see Rodney would prefer that John stay and take notes of the results with him, which made it all the more endearing that he didn't insist or even ask. "Of course," John said. Then he leaned forward and gave Rodney a quick kiss before heading out into Atlantia.

~~

Being able to walk the streets beyond the confines of a walled space like the Academy wasn't as liberating or interesting as John had thought. Thankfully, it also wasn't as threatening as Rodney's promise of protection had suggested.

Nobody really cared about a servant walking down the street. Officials made sure that he didn't accidentally enter areas that were only meant for the gentlemen and ladies, though John could soon spot the differences from a distance. Taking the road with the poorly plastered stones was always a good bet.

He didn't spend too much time in the shops or at the market stands, since he only wanted to shop for necessities for now. He bought at the places recommended to him by his fellow body servants, but made mental notes of places he wanted to take a closer look at later when he'd settled in.

It didn't take long for him to return home without any incident.

He let Rodney know that he was back, stored the things he'd bought, and began cooking lunch. Rodney dropped by the kitchen before John was done.

"Smells good," he said, suddenly appearing behind John, making him jump. Rodney grinned.

John glared at him. "It will be ready in ten minutes."

"So does it need constant attention or could we use the time?" Rodney asked, slipping his arms around John.

"You want me to help you with your experiment?" John asked with a smirk.

"If you want to call it that," Rodney said, kissing John's neck.

John laughed and turned around. "Ten minutes?" He liked a challenge. He slid down to his knees.

In the end it was fifteen minutes because Rodney insisted on blowing him in return. It was obvious that he wasn't as experienced as John, but that didn't keep John from coming so hard that he had to support himself on the stove and nearly burned his fingers in the process.

"Now I'm _really_ hungry," Rodney said, dropping down on the chair next to the small dining table in the kitchen.

John handed him a bit of the bread that he'd baked earlier. "To hold you over while I serve lunch."

"Not in the dining room please," Rodney said, nibbling on the bread. "Oh, this is really good. Crunchy crust, but soft inside. And still warm."

"Thank you," John said with a smile. "You want to eat here?" he asked.

"There's a table and chairs. I don't really see the point of more," Rodney said.

John nodded. "But we'll eat in the dining room when you have guests," he said.

"I hope to avoid that as much as I can," Rodney said, making a face.

John smiled and went to fetch their meals.

~~

This was John's life now.

He spent his time taking care of their home and assisting Rodney with his research. In any spare time that was left he read books or played with his portable lab, though he tended to feel a bit ridiculous when he compared his own little experiments to Rodney's complex set ups.

And there was sex of course. A lot of sex.

There wasn't a day when they didn't fuck or blow or stroke each other to orgasm. And having sex only once was the exception, usually on days when Rodney couldn't tear himself from his work. On such days John would simply bring him food and drinks, assist if he could, and stay out of the way if he couldn't.

Most days, though, they'd end up necking after one of their shared meals or while working together and it led to sex.

Sometimes they deliberately took their time. They'd worked through a few of the positions in Drake's book, and after a few weeks of fucking John into mind-numbing orgasms, Rodney wanted to see what it was like on the receiving end. John spent a full week playing with Rodney's ass, first with a finger, then with two, and eventually with the dildo, before fucking him.

It took some patience but it was definitely worth it, since it turned out to be a wonderful experience for both of them and something that immediately became part of their sex lives.

John was very content most of the time. He wasn't really bothered by the housework. He could decide when and how to do it. And after Rodney complained that John seemed to spend too much time cleaning that could be used on documenting his research, he got his father to send over one of their servants once a week to do the least pleasant and most time-consuming work.

John felt a bit uncomfortable that someone else was doing _his_ job, but he had to admit that being Rodney's research assistant was a full-time job and it was hard not to neglect one thing or another.

It didn't help that often Rodney was oblivious to what was going on around him and to the limitations that being a servant placed on John's life. He was outraged when John came back empty-handed one day after Rodney sent him out to buy a replacement lens.

Certain shops were for gentlemen only. Servants were only allowed around the back to pick up things, and were not tolerated in the main area of the shop. Rodney went back to the shop with John in tow, loudly complaining that this nonsense was costing him valuable time. Then he proceeded to quiz John about optics in front of the owner to prove that he would be able to make all the decisions necessary to buy a lens.

He ended by threatening never to shop here again unless the owner gave him his word that this would never happen again. John wasn't entirely sure how many other shops even offered hand-manufactured lenses, but Rodney's threat worked and the shop owner assured him that he could see John was a knowledgeable customer who would do his master's wishes justice.

This was always how Rodney handled injustices when they were brought to his attention.

After Rodney complained yet again, loudly, about how annoying his little sister was and how he wished his family would just stop the regular visits to their home, John couldn't hold his tongue any longer. "You know, some people would be happy to even know where their family _is_ , let alone see them."

Rodney had given him a look, clearly not expecting a response to his customary rant after his family visited. "You have family?" he asked.

John snorted bitterly. "No, Rodney. The Academy hatches us from huge eggs."

"Uh, I'm sorry. I never really thought..." Rodney trailed off. And that was really it. He didn't think about things like the family or life of his servants, not because he was deliberately cruel but simply because it didn't matter to him. "When did you leave your family?"

"I was nine when I was chosen for the Academy," John answered.

"And you never saw your parents again?" Rodney asked.

"I never knew my father. I lived with my mother and my little half-brother. And no, I never saw them again. I don't even know if they're alive or dead," he added, hoping that Rodney would maybe understand that having your family visit once or twice a month was not the most terrible burden in the world.

"I'm sorry," Rodney said.

John only nodded. He didn't want to make Rodney feel bad. It was simply John's life and there was nothing that Rodney could do about it. That's why John had never said anything before.

However, it turned out that Rodney _could_ do something about it.

A few weeks after the incident—after which he didn't complain at all when the McKays visited them—Rodney told John to sit down at his desk. "If you still want to know about your family, I've made some inquiries."

He looked very serious, so John wasn't under any illusion that he'd have good news. But then again, there wasn't much good that could happen to a servant. Still, John needed to know, so he nodded and braced himself for the worst.

"Do you want the good news first or the bad?" Rodney asked.

"Bad," John said without hesitation. He was surprised that there was any good news, and he didn't trust that it really was good.

"Your mother is dead," Rodney said.

John had had a feeling that this was the case. He didn't know why but a part of him had always thought she wouldn't live long enough to see old age. "How did she die?"

"She became sick a few years ago, too sick to fulfill her household duties. Instead of letting her rest or die in peace as a decent master would, they sold her to the mines," Rodney said.

John closed his eyes. Even young, strong men had a hard time surviving the mines. A frail, sick woman had no purpose there other than suffering until the end of her life.

"She died two months later. I'm sorry," Rodney said.

John felt a surge of pride that his mother had survived for two months in her condition. She'd always been tougher than she appeared—but not tough enough for this cruel world.

"But your brother is alive and well at the Academy," Rodney continued.

John looked up at that. Being chosen for the Academy was a privilege for a servant's child. He was glad that his brother would get a decent education and was safe, at least for the moment. He still had two years until he would be chosen by a master. "Thank you," he told Rodney.

"It was nothing," Rodney said. "I mean it literally is nothing, because I can't change what happened to your mother and I can't change your brother's fate either." His mouth was curved downward unhappily.

"It means a lot to me to know," John disagreed, taking Rodney's hand. "Thank you," he said again.

Rodney squeezed his hand, and John stood up and pulled him into his arms, surprising his master with the uncharacteristic move. Rodney's arms settled around him as well and for a moment John simply let Rodney's embrace comfort him.

Rodney might not think about the world that John had to face every day, but if John brought it to his attention, he always did his best to make it better for John. That more than made up for his shortcomings.

Of course John never brought up the most difficult limitation of his life. He tried not to think about the future and the uncertainty it contained. That became more difficult, though, as Rodney's first Courting Day approached.

~~

Courting Day, as the name implied, was the day that young Atlantean gentlemen wooed a lady and—with her permission—officially registered a claim on her. It was like a pre-engagement or stating the intention to become engaged in the future if things progressed well.

Their first Courting Day took place a year after the young masters moved out to live with their body servants and any other servants their families might send with them. That was to give them time to settle into independent life away from their family.

Three more Courting Days followed the first, one every six months. They allowed the gentlemen and ladies to either confirm their previous claims or register new claims, all with the goal that gentlemen and ladies would be married by age twenty-one.

John didn't know how a single day could be enough to decide which person to claim as a future husband or wife, but then again, Pre-Selection was done similarly and it had worked out very well for him. Of course, choosing a body servant wasn't comparable to choosing a wife, but John was sure that some of the ladies and gentlemen went into Courting Day with opinions about who to woo or allow themselves to be wooed by.

If there were such cases—which John could only assume since he'd heard of masters who'd married as young as seventeen—Rodney didn't seem to be one of them.

The only guests they had apart from the McKays were scientists from the McKay Laboratories. Most of them were men, and the two women in the group were both older and married.

Rodney also didn't go out very often, and if he did, it was mostly to procure books or resources for his research. One thing he did indulge in for leisure was going to concerts at the Atlantia Theater in the center of town.

He'd asked John if he wanted to accompany him and John agreed the first time to see what it was like. The music was nice, though John didn't appreciate it the way Rodney did. Rodney could talk about cadences and rhythm and composition for hours after the concert. But it was still interesting.

He wasn't allowed to sit with the gentlemen, but that didn't disturb him half as much as it did Rodney, who found it ridiculous. The only reason it bothered John at all was because he thought it would be nice to watch Rodney while he enjoyed the concert.

But simply listening to the music, experiencing a night out, then having Rodney rave about the concert afterwards was enough to make it worth John's while. From then on he always accompanied Rodney to the Atlantia Theater.

He was surprised to spot Drake's body servant on one of those occasions. David didn't seem too interested in the music, though he did listen. John had a hard time picturing Drake as patient enough to even sit through a concert. Maybe his father had made him go, or maybe he simply loved music as much as Rodney did. It wasn't as if John actually knew Drake at all. He didn't particularly care to change that, especially when it turned out that Drake was by no means over his obsession with John.

After the concert he hoped to avoid seeing Drake, but his attempt to quickly make his way out and wait aside from the main entrance failed. Drake was right behind Rodney when he stepped out and seemed in no hurry to leave as Rodney waited. After a while John gave up and went to Rodney.

"Ah, there are you. I thought you got lost somewhere," Rodney told him.

"Hello, John," Drake said from behind Rodney, giving John a predatory smile. "I see you're still with your master."

Rodney turned around, looking pissed off. "Where else would he be!" he said, taking John's hand and leaving.

John only looked back once, seeing that David seemed more resigned to his master's obsession with John at this point than humiliated and angry. Drake simply smiled at John—an almost nice smile—and waved. John quickly turned back and asked Rodney about the concert, hoping that Rodney's love for music would distract them both.

~~

Rodney didn't mention Courting Day at all.

The first person who brought it up was Jeannie. "So have you decided what to wear for Courting Day? Will you bring presents? Do you know what to say?"

Rodney's mouth curved down more and more with each successive question. "I've been able to talk all my life. I hardly need to prepare for that!"

"Not when you were a baby," Jeannie corrected him.

"I've been able to talk for longer than you've _existed_ , so I won't have you lecture me. I don't need to prepare for Courting Day," Rodney said curtly.

"You think you'll win your future wife's approval with your charming personality?" Dr. McKay asked.

John had to bite his lip to keep from grinning. As serious as Rodney's father was, he had a dry sense of humor that sometimes came through.

"If a woman is looking for a 'charming personality' and nothing else, I wouldn't want her anyway," Rodney said. "Not that I want any wife at all," he added, looking at John. "I'm quite happy the way things are."

John's heart constricted, but he knew that in this, Rodney was as powerless as he was. On cue, Jeannie spoke up.

"You _have_ to get married," she said.

"Says who?" Rodney said.

"Say I, for one," Dr. McKay said.

Rodney looked straight ahead, his jaw clenching.

"I will not force you to marry, but you will not be allowed to work at our labs until you are married," Dr. McKay said. "I will not change the rules for you or anyone else. It is your choice to make."

Except that it wasn't really a choice, John knew. Scientific research was Rodney's life, and the family labs offered the best opportunity in all of Atlantia to do his work. Even if he was willing to work elsewhere, John wasn't aware of _any_ reputable employer who didn't require employees to be married. So for Rodney, choosing not to marry amounted to giving up his life's dream. Not to mention that, if Rodney couldn't work, he would be dependant on his father's allowance to survive. John couldn't imagine that Dr. McKay would financially support Rodney's refusal to marry.

Rodney didn't say anything. Everyone else sat around the table in silence, so John asked Jeannie, "How are your classes going?"

Jeannie's answer broke the silence, but the mood at the table remained frosty, and Rodney was still tense when his family left. He went to work in the study, and since he made no indication that he wanted John to join him, John took care of clearing the table instead.

That evening, Rodney was quiet and a bit more desperate when he fucked John. After they came and Rodney collapsed on John, John stroked his hair in a soothing manner and kissed the top of his head.

John knew all too well what it felt like to be completely powerless about what happened in your life. In fact he'd always held on to the option of running away as the one thing that gave him a choice. Rodney, on the other hand, had much more to lose. John didn't think running away had ever crossed Rodney's mind as an option.

Truthfully, John was glad about that. For Rodney, running away would be losing all he wanted to achieve in life. For John it had been an option because he'd had so little to lose.

He wished there was a way for him to change Rodney's options, but it just wasn't possible.

~~

Rodney didn't mention Courting Day again, but when it came, he dressed in one of his good suits.

He was subdued at breakfast, and when John said, "I'll call a carriage," he just nodded.

John for his part was trying not to let their situation get to him. He'd always known that it would come to this, and he'd tried very hard to keep in mind that their life together was only temporary. While he couldn't be sure where and how he'd live after Rodney married, he knew for sure that their cozy life as it was now would be over.

In a strange way he'd almost been more emotionally attached to Rodney when he'd still been at the Academy. He'd treasured every letter and every gift. He was still very happy when Rodney complimented his work either directly or more often through an enthusiastic response to food or approving sounds when he reviewed John's documentation.

But while he'd imagined being intimate with Rodney in great detail back when he didn't have the chance, now he tried not to get carried away emotionally.

Sex with Rodney was fantastic. It was funny at times, in rare cases even silly when they tried one of the more exotic positions in Drake's book. But it could also be intense and it was in those moments that John reminded himself that this wasn't forever, that he'd most likely have to give this up sooner rather than later.

He also didn't try to think too much about Rodney's feelings for him. Rodney could be careless and even insulting to him when John didn't understand something as quickly as Rodney expected or when he did something wrong. But it was very clear that he liked John and was attracted to him.

Sex didn't have to have anything to do with love, but sometimes Rodney whispered John's name in a way that made it very difficult not to feel...he wouldn't say 'loved'. Rodney's words spoke of great affection.

But John tried to ignore those moments as well, because even if Rodney did love him, it wouldn't matter. Sometimes John thought back to the conversation with the mail servant at the Academy. How happy he'd been with his master. How much they'd loved each other, until everything had changed.

After a year, John could say that he was glad he'd gotten the advice. He didn't think he would have completely ignored the reality of the laws of their society, but he might have ignored the future rather than trying to prepare for it. He might have been happier if he had, but if he'd completely given himself to Rodney in the last twelve months, this day would be agony.

As it was, he only felt a slight trepidation and resignation.

~~

There were many familiar faces in the area where the body servants waited while their masters wooed their future wives.

Some John only knew from seeing them in the halls of the Academy. But there were also body servants with whom he'd shared classes and who'd regularly used his portable lab.

"John!" Graham shouted when he spotted him.

They chatted for a bit, which was to say that Graham talked and John nodded along. It seemed Graham was as enthusiastic about helping his master in his architectural bureau as he'd been about art.

"And my master allows me to paint for our office and even for customers," Graham added.

"I don't see why he shouldn't. You're very good," John said.

"Thank you," Graham said, blushing slightly. "Do _you_ still draw? At least technical drawings?"

John told him that he continued his work of documenting Rodney's experiments, and Graham seemed very pleased.

A few others from their year stopped by and talked with them. It felt like a reunion of sorts. John spotted David a bit further away. He stood in a group of people, and judging from his smug grin, he was telling everyone how great his life was.

John mentally rolled his eyes. He was surprised when David caught his eye and instead of looking away again and ignoring his existence as he usually did, he grinned. Then he actually started coming towards John.

"Your master's here to find a wife?" David asked.

"As all our masters are," John replied promptly.

"Not mine," David said. "My master doesn't plan to claim _anyone_ ," he added smugly.

John's jaw clenched. He would have loved to throw in his face that he should wait and see, but unfortunately John could very well imagine that if Drake didn't want to claim anyone, he simply wouldn't because he always got what he wanted. Well, except for John.

"My master is perfectly happy with what I have to offer," David added.

John was tempted to point out that if John were willing, Drake would replace David in a heartbeat, but such pettiness would mean that David was getting to him, which he wasn't. Because Rodney _would_ be perfectly happy with John, but not getting married wasn't an option for him. And it wasn't as if John was jealous of David.

"You can hardly offer him what a wife can," Graham said, looking puzzled.

David gave Graham a look as if he had no idea what he was talking about. Then he looked at John.

"He means..." John started, but then trailed off and flushed.

"Oh," Graham said, flushing as well.

"So you, what? _Work_ for your master? Clean and cook?" David asked Graham disdainfully.

"I assist my master in his job and take care of the household," Graham said, holding his head up high. "And I dare say that he couldn't ask for a better body servant."

"We have servants to take care of the household," David said. "And I dare say my master wouldn't find anyone more devoted to him than I am." He gave John a pointed look.

"I'm sure John is very devoted to his master as well," Graham said. "If his master wasn't fully satisfied with him, he never would have commissioned that wonderful portrait by Mr. Rovus."

David shrugged at that and said, "Let's hope he'll be as devoted when he works under his master's wife," smiling sweetly at John.

John glared at David. Then he asked, "If your master isn't claiming anyone, shouldn't he already be back by now? Surely it can't take very long to not claim _anyone_."

David's smug demeanor faltered for a moment, before he composed himself. "I'm sure he's simply staying out of politeness."

John coughed.

"Or he's catching up with some friends," David amended.

"We wouldn't want to keep you from doing the same," Graham said, nodding towards the group that David had left behind.

David didn't comment and only smiled at John again before making his way back to his group. He kept an eye on John though.

"I don't...like him very much," Graham said.

John had to suppress a laugh and didn't do a very good job at it.

"I shouldn't talk like that," Graham said. "I'm sure he's an asset to his master. If that is what his master wants, and he's happy to do it, that's their business I guess. It's just... I couldn't imagine my master asking for those kinds of services from me." He turned to John with a puzzled look.

John felt himself flush, and he evaded Graham's gaze.

"Oh, you too," Graham said. John glanced at him and saw that he was flushing again. "Maybe it's not as uncommon as I thought."

"So you also cook for your master? Do you like it?" John asked to change the subject. He hoped Rodney wouldn't take all day to claim a future wife.

And a tiny, quickly squashed part of him wished that Rodney would somehow find a way to be like Drake in that one single instance and refuse to claim anyone at all.

~~

John was about to investigate how lunch would be served to alert whoever was responsible about Rodney's allergy, when Rodney finally came to pick him up.

By that time a few masters had already left. Drake hadn't been among them, and the reason became clear when he arrived on Rodney's heels.

"John," Drake said, smiling at John.

Rodney started and turned around. "You're doing it again! Are you stalking me?"

"I wasn't even talking to you," Drake said, not even looking at Rodney. "How are you doing?" he asked John in a friendly and surprisingly not-predatory way.

"I'm fine, Mr. Berenson," John said.

"Please, call me Drake," Drake said.

"What?!" Rodney said. "Do I need to remind you that John is _my_ body servant?"

"He is also a human being. I wasn't aware that you didn't allow him to speak to others," Drake said.

Rodney turned red and clenched his fists.

"We should go home. I'll have to hurry with lunch as it is," John quickly said before Rodney could start throwing death threats at Drake. John was pretty sure that Dr. McKay wouldn't be pleased. The news of Rodney claiming someone on Courting Day would be welcome though, if that was what Rodney had done.

As if hearing his thoughts, Drake said. "Goodbye then. And congratulations on your claim, McKay. Miss Brown is very pretty and very smart, though I fear too nice for you. She'll make a wonderful wife someday, for someone who wants that. I personally feel that the companionship of a body servant is all I could want." He looked at John for a long moment then turned to David, who had come over once he'd seen his master.

David smiled widely, and John honestly didn't know how to feel. Rodney on the other hand was wearing his frustration on his sleeve, standing stone-still with a red face. John was quite proud of him that he hadn't exploded yet.

"Rodney? Can we go home?" John asked.

Rodney only turned without a word. John quickly said goodbye to Graham and the group at large.

"Come visit me at our bureau if you have time," Graham said.

"I'll try," John said and followed Rodney.

"Goodbye, John," Drake called after him.

John stopped, then turned and said, "Goodbye, _Mr. Berenson_."

Drake only smiled at him, and John was still a bit disturbed that it was a normal smile, not the predatory leer that he'd grown accustomed to over the years.

He put all thoughts of Drake and his smiles aside and quickly followed Rodney.

Rodney had already hailed a carriage for them. They were about to step in when another carriage drove past them. A young red-haired woman looked out and broke into a blinding smile when she saw Rodney, waving at him. "Goodbye, Rodney," she said. "I'm looking forward to seeing you again."

Rodney gulped and gave her a forced smile and a quick wave back. "Bye, Katie," he said to the disappearing carriage. John guessed that that had been Miss Brown, Rodney's claim and future wife. He tried not to feel bitter. She did seem like a very nice person, which only made it worse because in a relationship between Rodney and a nice woman he could only imagine both of them ending up unhappy.

But then, this wasn't really about achieving happiness.

John sighed. Rodney looked at him. Then he took John's hand and squeezed it, before entering the carriage.

~~

The ride back was quiet.

John didn't know what to say. They both knew that this wasn't what Rodney wanted. Nothing he could say or do would make their situation better. What was worse, though, was that he wasn't sure if he should try to comfort Rodney and what form that comfort should take.

Rodney wasn't engaged exactly, yet, but a claim was still a commitment. Since Rodney had refused to talk about Courting Day except when forced by his family, John wasn't even sure how this would change their relationship. He would understand if Rodney asked him to live in his own room now that he had officially registered his interest in Miss Brown as his future wife.

Of course, maybe Rodney wanted to enjoy their time together as long as they still had it. After all, this had only been the first Courting Day, and as far as John knew Rodney hadn't had much, if any, contact with Miss Brown before. So maybe he didn't feel compelled to end his sexual intimacies with John out of respect for her—for the moment.

John decided to think about lunch instead, which was a much more pressing matter and something he could control at least. He'd likely get his answer about how Rodney wished to proceed later that night.

When they arrived home, John told Rodney that he'd prepare a quick lunch and went into the kitchen, only to have Rodney follow him.

John was about to turn and ask if he wanted anything in particular, when Rodney's arms enfolded him from behind and he pressed his face into John's neck, kissing it. Rodney mouthed his way along John's jaw and moved his hand towards John's crotch, leaving no doubt about what he wanted.

John exhaled, both because Rodney was stroking his cock and because he was relieved that Rodney apparently didn't intend to give up sex with John immediately.

The food would have to wait for a bit longer. John was fine with that as Rodney prepared him with some oil and fucked him over the counter.

~~

Life didn't really change after Courting Day.

Rodney's family seemed satisfied, but there was still a tension about Rodney that extended beyond when his father and sister visited.

John felt helpless. He took care of Rodney as he'd always done, cooking what he liked, having sex and exchanging other intimacies, but it was as if the reality of his commitment to Miss Brown hung over their heads.

John himself felt a bit awkward having sex with someone who was going to promise himself to another, and he still tried to protect himself from falling in love with Rodney. As a result he felt a bit guilty for not being as comforting as he might be if he gave Rodney his whole heart, but he couldn't forget the mail servant's story. He never wanted to become that person.

A few weeks after Rodney's first Courting Day, John was out doing some errands when someone called his name from an alley. He stepped closer to see who it was, then spotted Drake coming out from behind a ladder.

John was ready to turn and leave when Drake said, "John, please, just hear me out." He didn't sound threatening at all, so John stayed, keeping the distance to the open street in mind, though. He unconsciously moved his hand to Rodney's pendant.

"Mr. Berenson?" he asked formally.

"I told you to call me Drake. But that's... I want you to know that I meant what I said. If you were my servant you wouldn't have to clean or cook or shop." Drake gestured at the basket John was carrying. "I would take care of you, and I'd never replace you with a wife."

John swallowed.

"I know that you think I'm a monster, but I'd never want to force you to do anything you didn't enjoy. David told me that you serviced Atlantean men in your first year of training and didn't seem distressed by it. Please take this as a token of my appreciation and a taste of what could be yours," Drake said, holding up a box approximately the size of a shoe. When John made no move to take it, Drake added, "Please take it. It's not dangerous."

John hesitated, and Drake pushed the box towards him so that John had to choose to take it or let it drop. He took it, and it felt heavy in his hands.

"Try it," Drake said. "And think about it." Then he gave John what looked like a heartfelt smile and quickly walked away down the alley.

John stood frozen until Drake disappeared around a corner. Then he turned and continued on his way home, furtively looking around to see if anyone was watching him and what he was carrying.

~~

John was still a bit shaken when he arrived home. As soon as he closed the door, he lifted the box and shook it. There seemed to be a heavy object inside, maybe something like a small telescope.

John decided that Drake probably didn't intend to kill him, and if he wanted to, it probably wouldn't be by giving him a gift and making promises of a better life. He opened the box and gasped.

Inside was a dildo made of gold. Or probably gold-plated, but still. It wasn't as large as the monstrosity that he'd sent David way, way back when they'd first been chosen at Pre-Selection. It was probably modeled after Drake. John shuddered in a mixture of revulsion and sympathy that was wrong on many levels.

His brain fired off thought after thought. One was that even if it was only a thin gold coating, the dildo was probably worth a lot more than a servant should ever own. For a second he wondered if this was somehow a grand plot, and at any moment officials would storm in and Drake would accuse him of being a dildo-stealing thief right before generously offering to let John repay his debt through services.

The thing was, John didn't believe that Drake would do that. At least not the Drake he'd seen in that alley today. He'd seemed sincere—if misguided—in his offer. And unlike any time during the years at the Academy, where John had thought that Drake had been obsessed as he would be with a toy he wasn't allowed to buy, Drake seemed to be operating under the assumption that he had genuine feelings for John.

"John, are you back?" Rodney called from above.

"Yes," John shouted back.

"Did you get the wires?" Rodney asked.

"Yes," John told him.

He should really get a grip on himself and take Rodney his things but he was frozen to the spot, staring at the golden dildo. He still couldn't believe that Drake thought he'd _use_ it, or that he'd gone to the trouble of creating it for John. Because Drake wanted to win him over.

John was still reeling from that, because it had been so much easier to ignore Drake when he was just a spoiled young man who couldn't deal with not getting his way for once. Now, though, John looked at his gift and thought of Drake's words and how he _hadn't_ claimed anyone on Courting Day, though John was almost certain that Drake's father would be displeased by that even if not to the point of disinheriting his son.

The truth was that Drake wasn't in a completely different position than he and Rodney were.

"Since you're apparently not bringing them up..." Rodney said, coming down the stairs and through the atrium. He looked impatient until he seemed to realize that John wasn't quite himself. "Did something happen?" he asked.

"Uhm," John said.

Rodney stepped up and looked inside the box. He grinned. "You bought a surprise?" He reached out to pick up the dildo.

"Berenson gave this to me," John said.

Rodney's hand recoiled as if bitten. "Wait, he... When? He gave this to _you_?! How dare he! Did he do anything to you?"

"I'm fine," John said. "He only talked to me. Just now on my way home."

"That bastard," Rodney said. He reached out to take the box, but John held on to it.

"What do you want to do with it?" John asked.

"Throw it away!" Rodney said. "What do _you_ want to do with it?" he asked.

"I don't want to use it," John immediately said to calm Rodney down. "But we can't just..."

"You want to _keep_ it?" Rodney asked, frown deepening.

"No," John said without thinking. He didn't want to keep it around, but it seemed wrong to throw such a gift away when so many people in their society— Suddenly John knew what to do. "I'll return it. To _David_."

"David?" Rodney asked.

"Berenson's body servant. He deserves it. He'd _appreciate_ it," John said.

Rodney gave him a long look, clearly not understanding John at all.

"I know that you dislike Berenson, but he's not... Well, he's an arrogant prick, but he's also like us in a way. We can't all get what we want. Or who we want," John said meaningfully.

Rodney still frowned. Then he said, "Well, it's _your_ gift so you can do what you want with it. Can I please have my wires?"

"Sure," John said, handing him the small basket with his purchases. He wanted to lean forward to give Rodney a quick kiss, but Rodney had already turned and was on his way back to his study.

~~

The note that John wrote simply said, "To my devoted servant David from your beloved master." He put it inside the box and wrote David's name on the box itself.

He couldn't be sure if the gift would reach David, or how Drake would react if he learned of this, but he sincerely hoped that he wouldn't punish David for something that wasn't his fault. John figured that at worst, Drake would take the dildo away and tell him who it had been intended for. But David seemed to have reconciled himself to his master's feelings for another gentleman's body servant. Perhaps it helped that John was no real rival to David.

And maybe Drake would simply let it be and finally accept that John wasn't his and never would be.

~~

Rodney was a bit more withdrawn than usual at dinner. John asked about his current research, something that normally was a sure-fire way to get Rodney talking. Rodney _did_ explain the lab setup and his goal, but unlike usual he kept his explanations short and didn't sound too enthusiastic.

John wasn't sure what to do. It seemed Rodney wasn't too pleased with how John had reacted to the unexpected meeting with Drake and his gift, but there was little that John could do about it after the fact. Rodney couldn't possibly think that Drake's offer was in any way tempting to John.

The idea that John would prefer to be Drake's body servant was ridiculous, and he couldn't believe that Rodney would make that assumption about John. Maybe it was simply his general dislike of Drake. It probably didn't help that the last time they'd seen each other Rodney hadn't been able to top Drake's implied insult because, unlike other times, Drake had hit on a sore point.

John simply tried to let Rodney deal with it as he wished after he declined John's offer to help in the study.

However, two days later Rodney was still not quite himself—and they hadn't had sex at all. It was the longest they'd ever gone without sex and John not only missed it, he was concerned about how to deal with the issue.

He had hoped that things would return to normal after a day but there was clearly something bothering Rodney, so John decided that he'd have to address it with Rodney directly or live with the more withdrawn Rodney.

He went to the study and asked how things were going and if Rodney needed help. After getting a monosyllabic answer, John sighed inwardly but walked up to Rodney.

"I'm sorry if I disappointed you," John said. "I know that you don't like Berenson. I don't particularly like him either, but he pleaded with me to listen to him and he didn't seem threatening. I never let him get close to me. If he had tried to...take something that's yours, I would have stopped him by all means necessary."

Rodney looked at him for a long moment. "I know you would," he said eventually.

"You seem...upset with me," John ventured carefully.

"I'm not," Rodney said, his gaze on the ground. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He looked at John and gave him a smile that was genuine but sad. "You didn't do anything wrong. Quite the opposite. You always do everything right. You're much more responsible than I ever asked you to be."

"I know it annoys you when I don't have as much time to—" John began, but stopped when Rodney waved it away with a gesture of his hand.

"You're doing everything right," Rodney repeated. "I'm the one who needs to be more responsible."

John didn't quite know what to say. Rodney was very responsible when it came to his work. However, it was true that in terms of visiting his family or taking care of himself he was sometimes neglectful.

Rodney smiled at him, a genuinely happy, inviting smile this time. "Do you want to help me log the results?"

John beamed. "Of course."

~~

Things were almost normal between them after that. Rodney asked him to help document his research, they chatted during meals, they even teased each other and joked.

But they still didn't have sex.

Rodney didn't initiate any intimacies or seem to want them, unlike the way he had ever since they'd moved in together. John was thoroughly confused because it certainly seemed that Rodney had forgiven him, if he had ever been truly mad at John.

He still hadn't decided what to do about it when he checked their stock of food in the kitchen, wondering not for the first time what Miss Brown would like and when Rodney was finally going to invite her for the first time.

John froze with one hand on the cupboard when the explanation for Rodney's behavior struck him like lightning.

It wasn't about John at all. It wasn't even about Drake. This was about Miss Brown. John had feared that Rodney's claim would put an end to their sexual activities, but after Rodney had fucked him over the counter, he'd put that worry to rest for the moment.

Apparently the time had come. _This_ was what Rodney must have meant when he'd talked about being responsible.

John's heart tightened at the idea that Rodney was only trying to be as responsible as he thought John was. If it meant that he could be with Rodney a bit longer, he'd much prefer to be irresponsible.

He chastised himself for the thought. Rodney was trying to do the right thing and it was commendable, even if it meant they'd have to sacrifice the intimacy they'd enjoyed for the last year.

After all John had known that it would come to this. It was the whole reason for holding himself back when he was with Rodney. He'd prepared himself for this moment ever since they moved in together.

But it still hurt.

John wished he'd known when they'd had sex for the last time. If he had known it was the last time, he would have tried to make it more memorable. Not that he didn't have many memorable moments from the past year, but he would have liked to make it special, to be aware of every little touch.

Of course Rodney probably hadn't planned for things to go like this. John guessed that his encounter with Drake had reminded Rodney of Courting Day and the commitment he'd made, unlike Drake who could apparently afford not to claim a future wife.

And maybe it was better this way. It could very well be that a last night with Rodney would have made John forget his resolution not to get so emotionally attached that he couldn't bear to lose Rodney.

Things were the way they were—there was nothing John could do about it. And all things considered, he was still a very lucky servant.

His master was smart and funny and generous, and more responsible than he'd ever been.

~~

Rodney's newfound responsibility didn't really lead to more visits with his family, but maybe that would have been too much to ask. And John hadn't thought that it would be possible to completely change Rodney anyway. It was actually reassuring that he seemed as annoyed as ever by his sister.

John kept up the housework and helped Rodney with his research, but the lack of sex—except for masturbating to one of the many memories of being with Rodney—did leave him a bit more time, so he decided to take Graham up on his offer to pay him a visit.

The Moore Architectural Bureau wasn't too far. John went around to the servant entrance and knocked. After a moment, Graham opened the door and broke into a smile.

"John, you made it! Please come in," Graham said, stepping aside to let John in.

They only peeked into the main office where customers could meet with Mr. Moore or his father. There wasn't anyone around right now except Mr. Moore, who came over. "I've prepared the latest draft for the Anderson home. Could you finalize it by next week?"

"Of course, Mr. Moore," Graham said.

Mr. Moore looked at John.

"This is John. He's the body servant of Dr. McKay's son," Graham said.

"Oh." Mr. Moore gave John a look of recognition and approval. "You're the one who got the patent. Congratulations."

John flushed. "The patent is Mr. McKay's, sir. I only created the documentation according to his guidelines. And after being instructed by Graham." John added the last with a smile at his friend.

"I'm sure you're as much of an asset to your master as Graham is to me. Please send my kindest regards to him and his family," Mr. Moore said.

"I will, sir. I'm sure they'll appreciate it," John said.

Mr. Moore nodded at them and went back into the main office while Graham led John into the back office. Large boxes lined the shelves on the wall and there were two drawing desks inside.

"This is where I work," Graham said.

"Nice," John said. "And perfect for drawing," he commented on the desk with the inclined surface.

"Definitely," Graham said. "And you said you still draw."

"Yes. I'm documenting my master's research," John said.

"Then you should look into getting one. Get one with adjustable height! That way you can still use it as a normal table," Graham suggested.

"I'll look into it. Thank you."

Graham gave him a quick overview of the house they were currently working on, but then he moved on to drawings and paintings he'd done. A few were for specific customers, whose homes were in the process of being built or renovated. Some were part of the portfolio that Graham was building for customers to choose from if they didn't want or need anything specifically made for them. And some were just drawn for fun.

"Wow, this looks great," John said when he saw a painting of a futuristic city landscape. "It reminds me of the city in 'Ancient Rising'."

"It is!" Graham said, delighted.

John's jaw dropped. "It's beautiful," he said, taking in the vivid details of the city. "That was one of the first books my master sent me at the Academy. We both loved it."

Graham took the scroll with the painting and handed it to John. "It's yours."

"Oh, I couldn't! I wouldn't want to deprive one of your customers of it," John said.

"Don't worry about that. This is not one of those that we even show the customers. My master thinks it's not quite up to the level of sophistication we want to offer our customers," Graham said wryly.

John scoffed. "If he doesn't want it, I'll take it," he said. He—and Rodney—would appreciate the beautiful art. "Thank you so much. It will find a special place in our home."

"I'm sure it will. You still need to have it framed. You should go to Master Frames. If you tell them I sent you, you'll get a good price." Graham scribbled down an address on a piece of paper. "And how about I write a little dedication on the back. What was your master's first name again?"

"It's Rodney," John said, letting Graham take the painting from him.

Graham wrote on the back in his lavish handwriting. _The city of the Ancients for good friends of the past and future. To John and his master, Rodney McKay._ Then he signed it, rolled it up and put it in a light wooden tube, and returned it to John.

"It's a wonderful gift. My master will love it as much as I do. I really appreciate it," John said.

Graham smiled widely. "I'm glad it will be enjoyed. I should probably start working on that final draft my master requested," he added apologetically.

"Of course," John said. "I didn't want to take too much of your time."

"Not at all. It was good talking to you and sharing my work," Graham said.

"It was. I need to head home too. My master will expect dinner," John said, noticing the time.

Graham led him back towards the servant entrance past the small kitchenette, where a young woman was putting clean dishes in the cupboard.

"Hello, Suzanne," Graham said, flushing.

John raised an eyebrow.

"Graham," she answered shyly, smiling at him and flushing as well. She inclined her head towards John but didn't say anything.

John inclined his head towards her as well and looked at Graham.

"I'll just lead you to the door," Graham said, hastily. "I'll be back in a moment, Suzanne."

They walked to the servant entrance.

"So you have a...friend," John asked, amused that Graham was still flushing.

"She's the Moore's house servant who also takes care of our office here. We've become friends over time. She even allowed me to draw her," Graham said.

John's eyebrows rose.

"Not like that! She was fully clothed, of course!" Graham said, flushing an even deeper shade of red. "Although maybe one day..." He bit his lip.

John grinned widely. "Good luck with that," he said.

"Thank you," Graham said. "And thank you for visiting."

"I thank _you_ ," John said, lifting the tube with the painting.

~~

John was still smiling when he returned back home. He couldn't wait to show the painting to Rodney.

"I'm back," he shouted. "And I brought a gift." He carried the tube into the living room. For the most part it was still as sparsely decorated as when they'd moved in, since they spent very little time here. He didn't intend to hang the painting here but he wanted to get quick feel of how it would look on a wall.

Rodney joined him a moment later. "What is the— Oh." John could feel him coming closer, looking over his shoulder. After a moment he said, "It looks like—"

"It is!" John said happily. He turned and showed Rodney the dedication.

"Let me see it again," Rodney asked, and John dutifully turned the scroll again. "It looks fantastic. I hope you don't want to hang it here. We'd never see it! It deserves a spot in the study."

John laughed because that was exactly what he had wanted to do. He was very happy that Rodney liked the painting as much as he did, and a bit proud of Graham. "Yes, it should go into the study. Graham is a great painter. And teacher! Without his instruction my drawings for your documentation wouldn't be half as good," John said, rolling up the painting again. "I don't know how many nights we spent together trying to get them right." He carefully slid the painting into the tube. "I still need to get it framed. And I really should make dinner now. Would you mind if I reheated the rest of lunch and made some salad?"

"Go ahead," Rodney said, giving John a quick smile that was gone before it reached his eyes. "I'll go upstairs again in the meantime. Call me when you're done." He disappeared up the stairs, taking two at a time. Probably an experiment was running.

John went to make dinner, thinking about his visit. Graham seemed to be very happy with his life. John found it very strange that he called his master by his last name, but then he reminded himself that most master and body servant relationships weren't as intimate as his was. Had been. Though even without having sex, he and Rodney were still close and were still friends, thankfully.

He'd miss Rodney's humor and companionship if they only had a working relationship. Not that he didn't miss the sex. He really did. But he tried not to think about it.

John recalled Graham's interest in Suzanne. He was happy for his friend, but he couldn't help wondering if they had any future. He knew that servants could be sold at any time, as his mother's last months proved, but maybe that was the exception. He honestly didn't know how likely it was for a servant to stay with a family all his life. The servant that helped them once a week was a young, quiet man, so there'd been no point in asking him.

Rodney suggested they eat dinner in the dining room, so John served their meal there.

"Maybe we _should_ use this more often," Rodney suggested looking around the room. "It's bright and there is some space. I just can't think of anything to do with it other than move the lab equipment here, and I'd never hear the end of it from Jeannie, so that's out of the question."

John smiled. Then he had an idea. "Have you ever considered learning an instrument? You love music."

"Actually, I know how to play the piano," Rodney said.

John looked at the space between the seating and dining area. "A piano would fit perfectly there."

"Maybe," Rodney said, clearly hesitant. John didn't ask, but Rodney explained, "I was told by my teacher that while I was technically very proficient, my playing lacked soul."

"I can't believe that," John said, which was true. Rodney did everything he loved with so much passion. He couldn't for the life of him imagine that Rodney wouldn't be like that when he played the piano.

Rodney snorted. "I always tend to do better with rational than emotional, which isn't a bad thing of course. I'd hate to be irrational."

John smiled at him indulgently. He didn't think Rodney was half as bad at emotions as he thought. John had been drawn to his emotional side as well as his intellect from the start.

"But yes, maybe I can give it another try. It's been years since I even played," Rodney said.

"I'd love to hear you play," John said. "Does your family still have the piano? Do you think they'd want to part with it?"

Rodney shook his head. "It was my mother's. I don't think my father would let it go."

John nodded. Neither Rodney nor his family had talked a lot about his mother, who had died shortly after Jeannie's birth. But from the few occasions when Dr. McKay had mentioned her it was clear that she would forever hold a dear place in his heart.

They ate in silence for a while. John made a mental note to remind Rodney of the piano if he made no move to acquire one. Then his thoughts turned to Graham and Suzanne.

"Do your family's servants have relationships?" John asked.

Rodney dropped his fork and stared at John, jaw clenched.

John frowned, puzzled why that question would make Rodney so upset. He had no idea what he'd done wrong until Rodney ground out, "Is that what you want? A relationship? With this Graham?" His voice broke on Graham's name, and he swallowed.

"What?" John asked, confused how on Earth Rodney would even come up with something like that. Then he understood why Rodney was so upset and quickly added, "No! I don't want a relationship with him. He's interested in a girl who serves his family."

"I'm sorry," Rodney said stiffly.

"No!" John said. "I don't want him. I was never interested in Graham. I was never interested in anyone..." Except you, John added in his mind, but he didn't want to put Rodney on the spot. He was just trying to do the right thing after all.

"Yes, I see that now. I told you from the start that it was _never_ my intention for you to do anything you didn't want to do," Rodney said.

"You didn't," John said, not sure what Rodney could mean.

"Yes, I did, and I shouldn't have assumed that just because you consented, you _wanted_ to do it," Rodney added. "I wish you would have told me."

It dawned on John what Rodney was talking about. "You mean sex? Rodney, I _always_ wanted it. I'd been thinking about finally being fucked by you for _months_ at the Academy."

"Well, you certainly didn't complain when I stopped," Rodney said defiantly.

"You... I don't understand," John said.

"What's not to understand? The evidence speaks for itself. We haven't had sex for weeks, and you didn't even mention it," Rodney said.

"I thought that was your decision, and I tried to respect it," John said, still confused by what was going on.

"Why on Earth would I decide to stop having sex with you?" Rodney asked.

"Because of Miss Brown," John said. "I know that you don't especially want to get married, but you've officially claimed her, so I thought you felt you should honor that claim. Wasn't that what you meant when you said you needed to be more responsible?"

"No," Rodney said, looking slightly puzzled. "The thought honestly never crossed my mind, because I _don't_ intend to marry Katie."

"But..." John didn't know what to think. His heart gave a little happy jump at the thought that Rodney wouldn't marry Miss Brown, but at the same time, he was well aware that Rodney still would have to get married in order to find a job. And if Rodney hadn't stopped having sex with John because of Miss Brown... "Why _did_ you stop having sex with me?"

Rodney swallowed. "It occurred to me that what I'd seen as a signs of your attraction and affection for me might simply be you being responsible."

John was stunned. He was aware that he'd held back part of himself when he was intimate with Rodney, but he'd never had sex simply because of duty. He'd enjoyed every second of it, and he had thought—and hoped—that this was evident in his responses. Apparently he'd been wrong. "I love having sex with you," he said quietly. "I'm sorry there was any doubt about that."

"I didn't start doubting until Courting Day. You seemed hesitant sometimes, and I began wondering if you'd hoped that once I claimed someone you'd be rid of that duty. And then when Berenson, the bastard, approached you and instead of being angry you actually felt _compassion_... You said that you understood what it was like not to have who you wanted, so I thought... I didn't want to believe it had all been an act, I really didn't, but I couldn't stop thinking about it, so I thought I'd simply test it and put it to rest once and for all. I thought if I stopped initiating sex with you, you'd approach me because you wanted it as much as I did. But you never did." Rodney's mouth was a thin skewed line, and he dropped his gaze.

John rose up from his chair, walked to Rodney, and pulled him into a deep kiss. "I always wanted it," he repeated between kisses. "I missed you so much."

"Please, John," Rodney whispered, standing up and cupping his face. "Don't say such things if you don't mean them. I couldn't stand it if—"

"I do," John said, kissing him again and again.

"I love you," Rodney said.

John gasped. "Please don't say that," he whispered, putting his finger on Rodney's mouth. Rodney looked deeply hurt, so John quickly added. "Not because I don't want to hear it, but because we can't. I wish we had a future together, a real future. But Rodney, you know you'll have to get married. If not to Miss Brown, then to someone else."

"I don't care," Rodney said.

"I do," John said. "I couldn't... A servant at the Academy told me about his master. They'd been very much in love, but his master had to get married and they couldn't be together. You should have seen him, Rodney. He was obviously still heart-broken about it. He had to leave because he couldn't bear being so close to his master without being allowed to actually _be_ with him. I can't...I couldn't bear having to leave you." They looked at each other for a long moment. "I cannot allow myself to fall in love with you."

"But you want to," Rodney said.

"Rodney," John said, desperate for Rodney not to ask for more than he could give.

"That's enough for me," Rodney said, kissing John. "Let's go to bed. I've been dying for your touch."

John hastily nodded, and they rushed up the stairs hand in hand.

It had only been three weeks, much less than the time at the Academy between Confirmation and moving in with Rodney, but it still felt like forever since he'd last touched Rodney.

John took his time, worshipping Rodney's body as he'd never done before.

It was true that he hadn't wanted to hear Rodney's confession, but at the same time he was happy. Every little kiss and touch was John's way of showing that he appreciated Rodney's feelings for him even if he couldn't return them in full.

And he did care about Rodney a lot.

John kissed down Rodney's neck over the little scar that Rodney had gotten when his throat had first swelled up when he'd ingested citrus. He kissed Rodney's nipples, down his stomach, and swiped his tongue over Rodney's rising cock.

Rodney made noises of approval, and John took his cock into his mouth, licking and sucking it to full hardness. "Let me fuck you," he asked, when he let Rodney's dick slip from his mouth.

"Anything you want," Rodney said.

"I want," John said. "I want you so much."

He carefully prepared Rodney until he groaned and told John to finally fuck him. John smiled and obliged, pushing into Rodney in one steady slide. He gave Rodney time to adjust and then started to thrust. Rodney was tight and hot and wonderful, and John fought the urge to just fuck him as fast as he could.

Instead he took his time and used slow, deep thrusts that drove Rodney mad.

Rodney lifted his legs and tried to force John to go faster, but John wouldn't let him and kept up a slow, steady pace, leaning forward to kiss Rodney.

Rodney whimpered beneath him, and John forgot about what he could and couldn't allow himself to feel and only lived in this moment, thrusting into the man who'd picked him for his brain and who'd fallen for his body and everything else.

Whatever happened in the future, he'd carry the feeling of being loved with him for the rest of his life.

Eventually he could feel himself getting close and he pushed into Rodney at a faster pace. Rodney met him thrust for thrust, calling out his name and encouraging him.

John drove into the tight heat again and again until he couldn't hold back any longer and froze deep inside Rodney, filling him with his seed.

Rodney gave himself a single stroke and came as well, tightening around John's cock and shooting jet after jet of come over their bodies.

John collapsed on Rodney, panting heavily. After a moment he felt his dick slip out of Rodney.

Rodney adjusted them slightly so that they could look at each other. He caressed John's cheek with the fingers of one hand, and looked very much as if he wanted to tell John again that he loved him.

John closed his eyes. "Thank you for saying it," he said, because as hard as it was to hear it, John wouldn't have wanted to miss it.

"I love you," Rodney whispered again.

John opened his eyes and looked at Rodney. His heart constricted. He wanted nothing more in the world than to be able to say, "I love you too." Instead he leaned forward and kissed Rodney.

It would have to be enough.

~~

John was glad that they'd cleared up their misunderstanding. The next morning he woke Rodney up with a kiss, which Rodney welcomed with a sleepy smile and encouraging noises when John slid down and blew him.

Life was back to the way it had been, though of course their situation hadn't changed. Rodney was still going to have to marry.

Something else occurred to John.

"Does Miss Brown know that you're not going to marry her?" John asked over lunch.

Rodney only looked at him.

"You didn't tell her?" John insisted.

"It was difficult enough to get her to let me claim her. She never would have agreed if I'd told her it was just to get my father off my back," Rodney said defensively.

"You have to tell her," John said.

"She'll know when I don't reclaim her on the next Courting Day. I'll tell her that I'm deeply sorry and that I'm sure she'll find someone better suited," Rodney said.

"Yes, you will. But you won't wait until then. It's not fair to leave her in the dark so long. She's probably been waiting for you to invite her here," John said.

"She's probably busy with whatever she's doing with her plants. And I'm sure she has friends. Besides, it's almost the next Courting Day," Rodney said.

"It's still a couple of months away," John said. "She deserves to know that if she meets someone else, she'll be free to accept and encourage his claim on the next Courting Day."

Rodney sighed. "I didn't mean to hurt her. She is a very nice person and pretty smart."

"And I'm sure she'll be understanding," John said. "So you'll invite her and inquire after her tastes in wine and food, and I'll make the best dinner I can, where you'll let her down gently."

"You realize that if my father gets wind of this, we can look forward to shouting matches at meals again," Rodney said.

"Just tell him you're thinking about it when he brings it up again," John suggested.

"You won't let this go, will you?" Rodney asked.

"No," John said. "She didn't do anything wrong. We don't have the choices we want to, but not telling her the truth _is_ a choice. And we _can_ choose to be honest with her, so that at least one person here has a chance to get what they want."

"And by 'we' you mean 'I'," Rodney said with a sigh.

"You _are_ a genius," John said, smiling indulgently. "Most of the time," he added.

Rodney harrumphed.

~~

With a bit of nudging John got Rodney to invite Miss Brown over the day after the piano was due to arrive. John suggested he might want to play for her, but Rodney insisted that he probably couldn't even manage a scale.

John was pretty certain that was a great exaggeration, but he let it go. He was happy enough that Rodney had agreed to talk to Miss Brown.

When the day came, Rodney was incredibly awkward around her, trying to be nice, and John wondered for a moment if this was how he'd approached her on Courting Day too. Not that it mattered. John did his best to at least make the meal a positive experience.

In fact, showing off his cooking skills might have been a very tiny part of the motivation to have Rodney invite her. Obviously he wanted Rodney to be honest with her, not just for the reason he'd given, but also because he would feel better if Rodney made it official that he was not going to renew his claim on her.

Miss Brown loved the meal and was full of praise for John. She was charming in a natural unassuming way. John actually liked her, though he was sure that he wouldn't feel quite the same if she were to become Rodney's wife and the mistress of the house.

In the end she seemed disappointed, but not entirely surprised.

Well, as Rodney had said, she was smart. She must have guessed that something was up when Rodney didn't visit or invite her to his house for several weeks after claiming her. John was glad that she didn't make a scene. Rodney wasn't very good at dealing with people he considered irrational. Miss Brown left—armed with a little basket of John's cupcakes that she'd loved—and John was relieved that they'd avoided any drama even though Rodney had deserved it.

Rodney only asked him, "Are you finally happy?"

"Yes, thank you," John said. "Now, you just have to play the piano for me and I'll be perfectly happy."

Rodney made a face and pointedly said, "I need to go through some letters from the lab."

John only smiled.

~~

John did get him to play eventually though he suspected that Rodney delayed on purpose, practicing on the piano whenever John left the house before he actually played for him.

In any case, it sounded to John's ears as if Rodney hadn't missed a single day. The composition Rodney chose wasn't as difficult as they'd heard in the concerts, but it still sounded wonderful to John.

His father was also very happy to see that Rodney had returned to playing the piano. "Your mother would be happy, about this and about your future wife. I hear Miss Brown is studying plants. You know how much your mother loved the garden."

Neither Rodney nor John said anything to that. They weren't ready to give up the relative peace of recent family meals.

In fact, Rodney was lucky enough that his father didn't find out that he didn't intend to reclaim Miss Brown until after the next Courting Day.

It had been a very quick affair this time. John almost wished he had had more time to chat with Graham and the others. As it was, Rodney returned to pick him up within fifteen minutes.

Drake was directly behind Rodney, which didn't surprise him, and Rodney didn't even jump this time around. He only made a face when he heard Drake's, "Hello, John."

"Hello, Mr. Berenson," John answered.

"Yes, hello and goodbye," Rodney said, turning to Drake. "You see, I didn't have anyone to claim this time," he said smugly, kissing John in front of everyone. "I'm well taken care of." Then he took John's hands and pulled him after him.

John only managed to wave at Graham and to catch a glimpse of Drake gazing after him as David stepped up to his side and took his hand.

~~

John felt a lot more relaxed this time, stepping into the carriage after Rodney. While Rodney wasn't as angry as the last time, he was still annoyed.

"I can't believe that Berenson is still after you. It's been years!" Then realizing the implications of his words, he added, "Not that you're not worth...you know what I mean."

John smiled. "Yes, I know."

"I would have thought Berenson had the attention span of a goldfish," Rodney went on. "Maybe he's not used to not getting what he wants. By now he should know that I'll never say yes, no matter how many times he asks. I wasn't afraid when he first wanted to claim you. I threatened him when he dared to ask for a sexual bribe for the book. I laughed in his face when he offered me money to have you painted. And his decision not to claim anyone hasn't changed—"

"He did what?" John asked.

"He wanted a night with you for the book with sexual positions. As if—"

"Yes, you mentioned that in your letter. He wanted to have me painted? For him?" John asked. It was the first he'd heard of this.

"I assume it was for him. He probably wanted to stand in front of it all day and..." Rodney made a graphic gesture with his hand above his crotch. "Not that there's anything wrong with that. I have to admit, I might have used my portrait of you as a visual aid occasionally." He flushed.

"So did I," John admitted. He scooted closer to Rodney in the seat and kissed him.

Making out with Rodney in the carriage was definitely more relaxing than worrying if there'd ever be intimacies between them again.

~~

Of course the relaxation didn't last forever. The claims of the second Courting Day were made public and the next time Dr. McKay and Jeannie visited, a few days afterward, the old familiar argument flared up.

John had actually expected much worse, but Rodney's father only told him that he hadn't changed his mind about allowing anyone who wasn't married to join the McKay Laboratories. He also told Rodney that he shouldn't expect his father to pay for his comfortable life forever.

"Have I made myself clear?" Dr. McKay ended his speech.

"Crystal," Rodney said, his face as tense as his father's.

Jeannie didn't feel the need to berate Rodney this time; she stepped up and talked about some experiments she'd been running. John was relieved about the distraction and asked her a question to keep the conversation from the topic they all hated.

Even though they didn't talk about it, the problem itself didn't go away.

Dr. McKay hadn't been specific about whether he intended to withdraw all financial support from Rodney or just some, but John didn't think that Rodney was inclined to find out. And it wasn't just about money, it was about being able to work.

Rodney needed to work at a lab to apply for a doctorate and to officially publish his findings. So even if they'd be willing to live in a smaller home, Rodney wouldn't be able to follow his vocation.

John had been pretty sure about the facts, but it didn't keep Rodney from trying. It was only after the fact, when John found him crumpling up a letter and throwing it at the wall, that Rodney told him that he'd applied to every lab in Atlantia, even going so far as to offer to work for much less than he was entitled to.

"They're afraid of my father!" Rodney said angrily.

"Even the Tunney Labs?" John asked carefully. As much as he disagreed with Dr. McKay practically forcing his son into unwanted matrimony, he was convinced that it came from a dedication to fairness. He didn't want to treat Rodney any differently than his other employees, and he didn't want Rodney to think he was above the rules of their society. John didn't think it was meant as a punishment, and he couldn't imagine that Rodney's father would try to influence other lab owners in Atlantia.

"Malcolm Tunney is an arrogant ass who hasn't had an original thought in his entire life. He's not afraid of my father—though he should be—but he's afraid of hiring an unmarried man because someone will accuse him of encouraging the collapse of our civilization or something. I never understood why marriage has to be forced on all of us. Enough of the idiots _want_ it, so I don't think it would be the end of humanity if some of us didn't get married and have children—not that the world wouldn't benefit if my genius was passed on."

"You tried all of them? What about manufacturers? They sometimes have small labs," John suggested.

"I tried _everyone_ ," Rodney said. "I even tried the shop where we buy our lenses. There is no reputable place in Atlantia that will hire me if I'm not married."

And there certainly wouldn't be a place outside of Atlantia. It was the largest city in the world, and more importantly it was the most progressive. Other cities, for the most part, did not yet accept women working or studying. They would be even less inclined to accept an unmarried man.

"Which leaves the disreputable places," Rodney said. "Though if I have to leave the life of a gentleman behind, I might as well become a criminal. I could be a criminal mastermind or gentleman thief. I have the most modern equipment around."

John frowned and gave Rodney a slightly uneasy smile. He _hoped_ that he was joking.

~~

Jennifer Keller was blonde and cheerful, and this was her first Courting Day.

She came out arm in arm with Rodney, leaving no doubt that he'd claimed her. "I will see you and your family next week," she said and kissed Rodney on the cheek, making him flush. Then she left.

Even Drake, who followed Rodney as always, seemed to be slightly puzzled by the display. Rodney came over to pick up John, who had been catching up with body servants he knew from the Academy.

"Mr. Berenson," John said, nodding towards Drake.

Rodney rolled his eyes but didn't turn around to greet him.

"John," Drake said with a smile. "I don't suppose it would make any difference at all if I asked you to call me Drake again?"

"I'm afraid not, Mr. Berenson," John said.

Drake had never approached him alone again. They'd met a few times at the concert hall but had never exchanged more than a few words. However, Drake _always_ made sure to greet John when they met. To John it felt like an unspoken renewal of his offer.

"Let's go," Rodney said and turned towards the entrance, only to stop abruptly and turn back. "You're Graham?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Graham answered.

"I never did thank you for the illustration of 'Ancient Rising'. I'm sure John told you that we've placed it prominently in the study. We appreciate your generous gift. I'm sure your master is proud of you," Rodney said.

"Thank you, sir," Graham said, obviously pleased by the praise.

John was a bit surprised himself that Rodney would suddenly remember that Graham was likely in the group John waited with. But then, he didn't always understand everything Rodney did or said. Just like the claim for Jennifer Keller.

~~

"I'm _not_ going to marry her, and she _knows_ it," Rodney said as soon as they were at home. "So you don't have to worry." He cupped John's face and kissed him. "We won't stop having sex, just so we're clear."

John smiled. "I understand." Then he frowned. "You told her that you don't intend to marry her, and she still let you claim her."

"Exactly," Rodney said. "She'll even play my fiancée until we find a way out of this mess. Prepare for a big dinner next Saturday. I know you like that sort of thing." He smirked.

John did perk up at the thought. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy doing the documentation for Rodney—even if it wasn't for a patent—but preparing a dinner for guests always gave him a chance to cook something more elaborate, knowing that the achievement was his alone.

During the next days John didn't think too much about Miss Keller and why she'd agree to pose as Rodney's fiancée. Maybe she felt that since it was her first Courting Day she had enough time to find a husband, and she took pity on Rodney. The reason didn't really matter as much as the hoped-for result of making family meals more pleasant again.

As far as pleasing his family went, claiming Jennifer Keller had been a successful choice by Rodney. Dr. McKay was visibly enchanted when she greeted him. After the disaster with Miss Brown, he might have had some suspicions about Rodney's latest claim. But Miss Keller was not just a simple claim on paper—Rodney was evidently enamored with her.

When Rodney's plan to fake his engagement for his family came up, John had feared that Miss Keller or, surely, Rodney would give them away. Rodney seldom had the patience for social niceties, and this wasn't even real. However, to John's surprise, Rodney seemed very convincingly infatuated with his claim. He was so convincing, in fact, that John felt increasing irritation as the evening went on.

It had started with Rodney picking flowers from their garden for Miss Keller without even asking. John couldn't recall a single time that Rodney had set foot on the terrace with their garden. It was John's domain and he planned when and what to grow, so John wasn't happy when Rodney just cut flowers without telling him, especially to give to his fake fiancée.

After greeting her and introducing her to his family, Rodney fawned over her. Miss Keller was apparently studying medicine with her father and was far ahead of her peers. They talked about the merits of data collection for scientific studies, and Miss Keller smiled fondly when Rodney became slightly insulting in his enthusiasm.

John's stomach tightened when he saw the smile.

People didn't smile when Rodney got like this. They forced themselves to remain calm. They became flippant, or sometimes even angry. They didn't smile. Except Jennifer Keller, who seemed to enjoy everything that Rodney did or said.

Dr. McKay seemed delighted by their obvious rapport. Only Jeannie seemed a bit withdrawn. John suspected that she couldn't quite understand why someone like Miss Keller would want to marry her brother.

They continued talking about science and education and Miss Keller clearly held her own, earning more than one look of approval from Dr. McKay and approval _and_ pride from Rodney. By the time Miss Keller and Rodney's family left, John was sure he detected affection there as well, and Rodney's overwhelming goodbye to her made it a bit difficult for John to graciously accept her praise of his food.

John was jealous.

He didn't want to be, and he had no reason not to trust Rodney when he said that they were only pretending to be a couple, but it didn't change the fact that John felt threatened by her and uncomfortable with the idea that she was Rodney's official claim one year before he'd be forced to make marriage vows.

He _believed_ Rodney when he said he didn't plan to marry her, but they'd already established that he didn't have much of a choice, and John suddenly feared that a compromise supposed to last for a year, until Rodney's twenty-first birthday, could end up being a compromise for life.

And maybe it would end up not being a compromise at all if Miss Keller grew comfortable with her role as Rodney's wife. Rodney had told John that he was physically attracted to women as well as men. Miss Keller was certainly good-looking as far as John could tell—he'd never felt real desire for women. It seemed that Miss Keller was everything that a man—even a difficult man like Rodney—could want in a wife, and they were as good as engaged to be married as a matter of public record, one year before the date when Rodney was expected to marry.

John felt justified in his dislike of the situation.

This was slightly mitigated when Rodney was very obviously still attracted to John when he fucked him that night. But even after Rodney's rather vocal display of his lust for John, John couldn't help worrying.

Even if Rodney was determined not to marry Miss Keller, he hadn't found an alternative.

~~

John hoped that his senseless jealousy would abate in the days and weeks following the third Courting Day.

For a few weeks, it did. Rodney did mention Miss Keller—Jennifer—once or twice, but he was still as pre-occupied with his work as always, and to a lesser degree with John.

They didn't talk about what to do when Rodney turned twenty-one. John knew that Rodney still thought he would find a solution for them. Sometimes while they had sex, Rodney would whisper something like, "I won't lose this," or, "I'll never give you up."

What John didn't know was whether he was actively working on a solution—an actual solution, not daydreams about becoming a criminal mastermind—or if he was simply determined not to face reality.

Then Miss Keller turned up again at one of the family lunches.

At first John thought it had been at the request of Dr. McKay, who might want to get to know his future daughter-in-law. He seemed to have brushed up on his knowledge of medical science to talk to her, and she was delighted to find him so interested.

 _Everyone_ seemed delighted when she was around. Even Jeannie, after her initial distance, warmed to Miss Keller, finding in her someone who could relate to the difficulties of women who wanted to be more than the mistress of the house.

"I'm going to join the family lab as soon as possible," Jeannie proclaimed. "If I'm lucky like you, maybe I can find someone who'll claim me on his fourth Courting Day. I could get married at nineteen, which would make me two years younger than Rodney when I first start working."

Rodney glared at her, but Miss Keller smiled. "Even if you're as old as your brother when you start working, I'm sure you'll do just as well," she said. Rodney huffed, and she put her hand over his, squeezing it. Rodney smiled.

John was glad that his hands were in his lap so that nobody could see them clenching into fists. He had to tell himself repeatedly that they were just acting like a couple. He tried to recall how loving Rodney was with him when they had sex, though thinking about sex in the presence of Rodney's family and his fiancée wasn't a good idea. Thankfully he always had the excuse of looking after something in the kitchen.

The worst thing was that Miss Keller was really nice to him too.

She always made sure to praise John's food and flower arrangements. She hadn't batted an eyelash when John had joined them at the table during the first family dinner she attended. She always acknowledged John with at least a nod when she arrived or left.

Most people tried to be at least polite to body servants in a position like John, who were clearly not just one of many servants. But John could see in their eyes if they felt that having to treat a servant like a human was really beneath them.

Miss Keller wasn't like that. Her words and gestures towards John were genuine, but he still couldn't bring himself to like her.

He felt slightly guilty for that because she was only trying to help and his jealousy was unfounded.

Then Rodney invited her over on a normal day when neither Dr. McKay and Jeannie nor any of his colleagues were expected. It was only her, and Rodney showed her around the study, excitedly demonstrating his latest experiment while she attentively listened and made intelligent comments.

John felt sick with dread.

He didn't care what Rodney thought. It didn't matter that Rodney didn't want to get married. He wasn't Drake. In less than a year from now, when faced with the decision between losing all that he'd worked towards or keeping it by marrying Miss Keller, he would marry her.

John had no doubt about it. Maybe they'd keep separate bedrooms. Maybe Miss Keller wasn't interested in marrying any of the other gentlemen in Atlantia, some of whom were so conservative that they wouldn't want their wife to pursue a career.

So she'd move in, and they'd see each other every day, and sooner or later people would ask when they'd have children. And eventually Rodney would be annoyed enough to give in. Or he'd see the benefit in passing on his and Miss Keller's genes to an heir. They'd agree to only have sex until she became pregnant, and John didn't want to think one moment further because as it was he had to force himself not to ram his fist through a wall.

He was furious at Rodney and Miss Keller, but most of all with himself.

The threat of Miss Keller living with them and pretending to be a loving wife was enough to drive him insane with frustration and jealousy, after two years of supposedly preparing himself for much worse.

He'd gone into this with the knowledge that one day Rodney would marry, vowing that he would never forget it and would be prepared for it. He had failed miserably.

He didn't have to be happy about the prospect of Rodney marrying his claim, but he should be able to accept it gracefully. Instead even the thought of Rodney and Miss Keller chatting away in the study made John want to shout out that Rodney was _his_ and that there was no place for her here.

John quickly made his way from outside the study into the kitchen, pacing back and forth and trying to calm down, when the fundamental reason for his failure crystallized in his mind.

He was in love with Rodney.

For two years—more if you counted the time at the Academy—he'd been telling himself that he wasn't going to fall in love. He'd congratulated himself on his control. Some part of him had felt proud that he had more foresight than Rodney, who'd simply fallen for him despite their situation.

Except that he _hadn't_ had more foresight. John wasn't sure if he had been lying to himself or simply unaware, but he was disappointed to the point of despair. He had lost any hope of being able to deal with the future in a way that wouldn't end with him following the path of the mail servant at the Academy. What compounded the injury was that he'd wasted two years, holding back his feelings in a futile attempt to protect himself.

Now he'd be left with a broken heart, and he wouldn't even have the memories of three years of happily—if blindly—being in love.

There was no way that he could deal with this in a rational way right now, but he really didn't want to have a breakdown in front of Miss Keller. John randomly grabbed things and started cooking, eventually settling on the most complicated recipe he knew in the hopes that it would occupy his mind enough to stop thoughts of anything else.

The meal didn't turn out quite right but it was edible, and by the time he was done John had calmed down enough to watch Miss Keller and Rodney continuing their discussion without wanting to throw things.

It didn't matter.

John decided that with no constructive options at his disposal he could only try to make the best of the time that he still had with Rodney. He'd look into other options when he had to. Maybe he could return to the Academy and teach cooking. Or he could always run away.

He'd wait and see.

~~

"Something wrong?" Rodney asked him later that night.

John shook his head. He was a bit uncertain what his revelation would mean in terms of sex. He didn't need to hold back anymore.

When Rodney fucked him, John slowed him down, prolonging the intensity of the moment. It wasn't necessarily better than the previous times, but it felt different. There was something incredibly freeing about acknowledging how much it meant to him to be so intimately entwined with Rodney, even if it was only to himself.

He didn't tell Rodney he loved him. He couldn't forget about the day he'd asked Rodney not to say it—even if he'd thanked him later. When the inevitable moment came, maybe it would be easier if Rodney thought that John had managed not to fall in love with him.

When Rodney collapsed on him, John put his arms around him and kissed the top of his head. He still had this for now.

~~

Miss Keller was a regular guest from then on.

John tried not to let it get to him. He'd never seen them behave in a way that suggested they were more than friends, so his fears largely centered around Rodney's engagement and eventual marriage.

John enjoyed the time that he had with Rodney, talking about books, helping with his experiments, and of course having sex. But time slipped by so fast that, before he knew it, the fourth Courting Day had arrived. If a gentleman claimed a lady on this day it was considered their official engagement.

Rodney told John not to worry and squeezed his hand.

John was more tense than he'd ever been on a Courting Day. He tried not to show it but eventually Graham said, "Don't worry about your master. I'm sure he'll make a successful claim."

John didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Graham's master had claimed the same lady on every Courting Day and used the event to socialize more than anything. John supposed that some of the masters would move into new homes upon marriage, so it had to be a great opportunity for the Moore Architectural Bureau.

The first masters had already returned, filing their claim as a mere formality. Rodney wasn't among them.

John had no idea if Rodney's reassurance meant that he didn't intend to make a claim or that he intended to renew his 'fake' claim for Miss Keller. John didn't want to imagine Dr. McKay's reaction if Rodney didn't claim Miss Keller or someone else, so he imagined that Rodney would want to keep up the charade if she agreed.

John had no reason to doubt she would. She clearly hadn't minded the role she'd played, and unless she feared that no other gentleman would claim her on her last two Courting Days, she'd allow Rodney to renew his claim.

John was listening half-heartedly to a story Graham was telling him when David approached them.

"So, will your master renew his claim?" he asked. Contrary to John's expectations it sounded like a genuine question, not a way to rub it in that _his_ master had never claimed anyone.

"I don't know," John said truthfully. He didn't think there was a point in asking about Drake, and soon enough the man himself came in to pick up his body servant. John was surprised to see he wasn't following Rodney for once.

"I've reaffirmed my decision not to claim anyone," Drake told David. He smiled at him, and John thought it was the first time he saw something like genuine affection for his body servant. He was glad that at least one person would walk away from this happily.

Then Drake turned to him and said, "I'm sorry."

John frowned at him, surprised by the compassion in Drake's voice, and then the implications of his words sunk in. Rodney had renewed his claim. John must have been more shocked by it than he'd thought because it took him a moment to notice the hand squeezing his arm. He looked at the hand and at Drake, who removed it.

"If you're looking for a new household to serve in after your master marries and—"

"No," John cut Drake off. He didn't want to hear this. He didn't even care if it was a genuine offer or if Drake didn't want to miss a chance to finally take John to bed.

"We should leave, David," Drake said. "Goodbye, John."

John stubbornly kept his gaze on the ground. He knew that it wasn't Drake's fault that Rodney had renewed his claim or that Drake was the one to break the news to John, but right now John didn't have it in him to be polite to the man who could afford to stay unmarried and live with his body servant.

~~

Rodney came out with Miss Keller shortly before lunch time. They seemed a bit more subdued than the last time. Miss Keller gave John a quick wave before she disappeared. John only nodded in return and walked towards Rodney.

"Congratulations, Mr. McKay," Graham said behind John.

John made a face, and so did Rodney for that matter. "Thank you," he said stiffly.

They left and in the carriage Rodney told him, "Nothing has changed. I'll find a way for us."

John only nodded. One thing had changed for sure. This had been the last Courting Day and if Rodney wanted to find a way to stay unmarried, he only had six months left to do it.

~~

John didn't ask how Rodney intended to 'find a way for them'. Rodney would tell him if he found a solution, but truthfully John still didn't see how it could be possible.

There was only one viable path forward for them. Rodney needed to get married so as to work.

John still felt trepidation about who Rodney would choose as his wife and how it would change their life, but one night as he lay in bed next to a sleeping Rodney after they'd had quiet, gentle sex, John mentally stepped back and took stock of his situation. He was so tired of preparing for the worst. It hadn't helped him so far.

Since the first Courting Day—and maybe even before that when he'd had the fateful talk with the mail servant—John had focused all his attention on what he had to lose. But looking back on the time before Pre-Selection, it hadn't always been like that. Before Rodney had chosen him as his body servant in training, John had taken every day and made the best of it. Yes, even back then he'd avoided getting invested in friendships that he feared wouldn't last, and he didn't regret that decision. But it occurred to him that he'd been far less afraid back then. He remembered how he'd snuck into the kitchen one day to 'borrow' food for a picnic in the meadow behind the stables. The risk of punishment had been worth the feeling of freedom and rebellion, and he hadn't been caught, which made the memory even sweeter.

He'd feared what Pre-Selection would mean for him, trying to prepare for the worst possible outcome, but then he'd been lucky—and he'd accepted that.

Looking at his life now, John decided to forgot for a moment what they _couldn't_ have, and see what they _could_ have, what they _did_ have.

They were in love. They were in love and they were together. They lay next to each other after bringing each other the greatest pleasure, and they'd done it for years. This was their life, and it was worth remembering that not everyone was so lucky.

John looked at Rodney, his long eyelashes visible even in the moonlight. He got to kiss that mouth every day. He could stroke those cheeks and rub his nose against Rodney's. He got to run his hands through that hair and over that pale skin. He got to laugh and argue and banter with Rodney. He got to take care of him and assist him. And Rodney loved him for it.

When it came down to it, John was exceptionally fortunate. He didn't always need to dwell on how everything would be taken from them, because maybe it wouldn't. In John's eagerness to prepare for the worst, he'd forgotten to be open to the possibilities that he had, _despite_ the very real limitations of his life.

Rodney loved him and had affirmed again and again that he didn't intend to give up his life with John. Even if he had to get married, he didn't have to live the life of a husband. There was no reason a sham marriage between Rodney and Miss Keller—or someone else—couldn't be exactly that: a marriage on paper only, that would allow Rodney to work at McKay Laboratories but change little about their lives.

John didn't know how acceptable it would be for a wife to live on her own. But he knew that many of the richer families had several town houses, so it would be possible for them to pretend to divide their lives between the two homes, when in practice the division would be not by time but by the people living there.

It would mean that he and Rodney could continue to share their lives here, while his wife had her own life. She'd surely visit them occasionally, but John could live with that. His resentment over Miss Keller was centered on his fears, but if he was certain of their future, if he was allowed to be with Rodney even after their marriage, John thought he could grow to accept and even like her.

He smiled as he settled down to sleep, touching Rodney's pendant. It was a constant reminder that he belonged to Rodney— _with_ Rodney—and for once John didn't dread how the next months might tear them apart, but hoped for the best.

~~

The uncertainty about their future was still on John's mind after that night, but it didn't weigh so heavily. He kept in mind the possibility that they'd be able to continue their lives at least in private and that was enough to keep him from becoming desperate.

He still didn't tell Rodney he loved him. It was a line he didn't intend to cross until he knew that they had a future beyond Rodney's twenty-first birthday.

Rodney wasn't talking about how he intended to ensure a future for them, so one day John suggested, "If you made your marriage to Miss Keller as official as your engagement, nobody would have to know it wasn't a real marriage."

Rodney gave him a look, then dropped his gaze. John was certain that Rodney had considered this option before even if he still held out hope it could be avoided. "I'm not going to marry her," Rodney reaffirmed.

John didn't say anything. He wasn't going to press the issue. In the next months, Rodney would either have to come up with an alternative or get used to the fact that he would marry. Until then, their life would go on.

John tried to appreciate what they had together. He enjoyed working with Rodney, their discussions over meals, and the evenings spent with music or books. He reveled in their lovemaking, taking every touch, every kiss, every time that they brought each other to climax as the gift that it was.

When Rodney became desperate during sex, whispering that he wouldn't give this up, John soothed him and agreed with him. They wouldn't have to lose what they had. Unless proven otherwise, John was sticking with that hope.

John's calm and optimistic approach to their situation came to an abrupt end when he caught Rodney kissing Miss Keller one day.

Miss Keller still visited them regularly, and John hadn't minded it, his previous irrational jealousy reined in by his trust in Rodney's feelings and his hope for their future.

So he didn't think anything of it when he heard Miss Keller and Rodney come down the stairs and went to ask if she was going to stay for dinner. Before he could speak, however, he saw Rodney pull her into his arms and kiss her. She laughed happily and cupped his face before leaving. When Rodney turned around he seemed positively giddy.

John simply stood frozen to the spot. If he hadn't felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest, he would have sworn it had plummeted to the ground and shattered into a million pieces.

Rodney spotted him and came closer, still with a wide grin on his face. When he moved to embrace John, John jerked out of his reach.

The smile slipped from Rodney's face. "What...?"

John turned and walked back into the kitchen. He couldn't face Rodney right now. He was too... He wasn't even sure what he was. He couldn't feel anything beyond the deep sense of betrayal.

"John?" Rodney asked, following him.

"Please leave me alone," John said through clenched teeth, scraping together every ounce of control he still had.

"But I have to tell—"

"I saw you kissing her!" John shouted in his face.

"I, uh," Rodney began, puzzled. "Did I just kiss her? I might have." He looked thoughtful for a moment.

John couldn't believe that it was apparently happening so often that Rodney wasn't even aware of it. And Rodney didn't even seem to feel guilty. What a fool he'd been. He'd convinced himself that his jealousy was unfounded, that he and Rodney would have a future together because that was what they both wanted. How wrong he'd been. He tried to walk out of the kitchen, but Rodney stopped him.

"John," he said gently, leaning forward to kiss him, but John pushed him away.

"What would your fiancée say!" he spat out.

Rodney looked taken aback. He stared at John for a moment. "You think I'm going to marry her," he said.

"You officially claimed her as your future wife," John said. "And yes, I know you said it was only fake, but what I saw just now wasn't fake! I _believed_ you when you said you didn't want to marry her. I thought that you might _have_ to, but up until today I thought that you wanted..." _The same thing I do_ , John thought but didn't say.

Rodney looked at him for a long moment, then he smiled serenely and said, "You love me."

John turned away. "I've never hated you more in my life."

"I won't marry her," Rodney said.

John turned back to him, frowning. What reason did he have to still believe Rodney after what he'd just seen?

"Believe me, she wouldn't want me," Rodney said. "She's told me more than once that she doesn't have the patience to deal with me as more than a friend. Besides, she's only waiting for the next Courting Day when the man she loves is old enough to finally claim her."

"But you kissed her. I _saw_ you," John said, slightly less sure now.

"I was excited and grateful. And I only kissed her on the cheek," Rodney said.

Rodney's back had been to John, so John hadn't seen exactly where Rodney had kissed her. He desperately wanted to believe that he'd been wrong, but he couldn't shake his instinctive jealousy.

"I only kissed her because I was so happy—for _us_ ," Rodney said, gesturing at John and himself. "I told you I'd find a way for us to stay together."

John blinked. Rodney had never mentioned even the possibility of a future for them that didn't involve him getting married. And John still didn't see what it could be. Even in his most optimistic vision of the future, Rodney had been forced to marry. "So what is it?" he asked. "And I really hope this doesn't involve highway robbery."

"At first I tried to look at any possible way to have my work published. I even considered teaching at the Academy, but they wouldn't take me either if I wasn't married. I had to admit to myself that I wouldn't be able to remain unmarried and find work as a scientist," Rodney said. "I needed another approach."

"You love your work more than anything," John said, fearing what might come next. "You might think you could compromise, maybe do research without official publication, but you can hardly stand not being able to write scathing reviews in journals _now_. If they had a permanent reason to ignore you, you'd go crazy. You'd _hate_ living like that, Rodney. It wouldn't be worth it."

"I'm not so sure about that," Rodney said. "But I do agree that I would be unhappy if I had to give up science."

"Then what is your solution?" John asked.

"Jennifer asked me if I knew someone else I might marry, someone who would agree to a marriage on paper only," Rodney recounted. "I was very frustrated and told her truthfully that I couldn't imagine marrying anyone but you."

John snorted. He wouldn't have thought Rodney was even capable of such romantic delusion. It was almost touching.

But Rodney looked at him seriously. "So that's what I'm going to do."

John frowned. Rodney couldn't mean that, and he couldn't think that _that_ was the solution to their problems. It was like expecting that a fairy would knock at any moment and offer to give them three wishes.

"...if you want me," Rodney added.

"You can't marry me," John said. This really should be obvious.

"No, I can," Rodney disagreed. "That's why I was so happy. I've been looking into ways to officially ask to be allowed to marry you. I had to look into a lot of administrative records. Jennifer helped me to compile a case that I can present to the Council. Today I finally found that missing piece that will make it all but certain that they'll grant my request."

John didn't know what to say. He had no idea what Rodney was even talking about. He'd only ever heard of Courting Day as the way to officially obtain permission to get married. He had a really hard time believing that their solution could be so simple, or that he'd be allowed to actually marry Rodney. Not just stay with him while he was officially the husband of another, but actually call him his own. It was impossible. John's mind refused to accept it, and thinking about Rodney's words he latched onto one phrase. "'All but certain'," he said. "So, not entirely certain?"

"A fallible human will judge the case, so there is no certainty," Rodney conceded. "But I have every reason to believe my request will be granted."

John looked at him. He still couldn't grasp what Rodney was telling him.

"Please trust me, John. I'll find a way. Even if this does fail, which it won't, I've sworn to myself that I'll make it possible for you to love me without reservation."

"I couldn't help it anyway," John said, somewhat resigned, remembering the occasion that he'd first admitted it to himself.

"But I want you to be happy about it," Rodney said. He lifted his hand carefully, giving John time to pull away, and cupped John's face.

John let him. "It's hard to believe it could be possible," he admitted.

"It _is_ ," Rodney said, moving his hands on John's shoulders. "Tomorrow I'll officially dissolve my engagement with Jennifer, and I'll ask to marry you. And when they grant my request we can finally stop thinking about this and start living our life together."

Seeing the confidence in Rodney's eyes made it impossible for John not to believe him. He _wanted_ to believe it. Rodney was smart. If John was willing to accept the best possible outcome, why not what he truly wanted? He smiled.

Rodney smiled brightly and leaned forward to kiss John. John met him halfway.

The kiss soon turned heated. They started tearing at each other's clothes even as they kissed wetly. Rodney pressed John against the kitchen cupboards, mouthing along John's jaw then down his neck.

"We're going to have this for the rest of our lives," he promised. He unbuttoned John's shirt the rest of the way, kissing and nibbling along the newly-bared skin, then dropped to his knees to mouth John's hardening dick through his pants.

John moaned and put his hands on Rodney's head. Rodney made quick work of his pants and took John's cock in his mouth as soon as he'd freed it. He didn't go slow. He sucked John down as if he was the first drop of water after days in the desert.

"Rodney," John panted. He felt light-headed from the sensation of Rodney's mouth on his cock and the feeling of hope in his chest.

Rodney took him deep, his cheeks hollowing, and John groaned, then gently pushed at Rodney's head.

"Please. Don't want to come yet," he mumbled.

Rodney let John's dick slip from his mouth. "What do you want me to do in the meantime?" he asked with a smirk.

John playfully pushed at him, then sank down onto his knees as well, pulling Rodney into another deep, wet kiss. While their tongues clashed, John's hand found the buttons on Rodney's pants and undid them one by one, stroking his hard dick in the process.

When Rodney's pants dropped, John took his cock in his hand and stroked it, before pulling away and panting, "Lie down."

"Here?" Rodney asked, sitting back and looking at the stone floor in the kitchen.

"Now!" John said. He got out of his shirt and gathered their discarded pants to form a pillow for Rodney, before pushing him back and leaning forward to swallow his cock as deeply as he could.

"God, John!" Rodney shouted.

John worked his mouth up and down Rodney's cock, sucking and licking just the way he liked it. Rodney was rock-hard in a few minutes.

"Hey," he complained when John abruptly pulled away.

"Don't worry," John said, grabbing Rodney's cock and giving it three hard strokes. "Just wanted to get you ready for me." He sat up and got one of the oil bottles from the counter.

"Oh," Rodney said, watching with big eyes as John put some oil on his fingers, straddled Rodney's thighs, and pushed the fingers into his ass to prepare himself for Rodney. "Oh, yes. I want to fuck you."

John made a quick job of his preparation. He couldn't wait to have Rodney inside of him. After stretching himself enough that he could take Rodney with a minimum of discomfort, John took Rodney's cock in his hand and positioned himself over it.

He sank down on Rodney, letting his hard cock fill him. No matter how often they did this, he loved it every single time.

John didn't slow down until he'd taken Rodney as deep as he could, settling astride his hips. They were both panting.

"John," Rodney pleaded.

"Fuck me," John said, and they both started moving as one.

The hard kitchen floor was definitely not the most comfortable place to have sex, but right now John only cared about every thrust that pushed Rodney deep inside of him.

He slammed down on Rodney to meet every upward thrust of his hips, intensifying the feeling of being filled again and again.

"John, I can't..." Rodney panted, his face red with exertion.

John took his cock in his hand and started jacking himself off.

"Yes, please come. I need you to—" The rest of the sentence was lost in a long groan as Rodney froze on his next thrust, filling John with his seed.

Rodney's climax triggered John's own. His cock shot several stripes of come all over Rodney's rucked up shirt.

They collapsed, and when Rodney panted, "Ouch," John lifted himself enough to let Rodney slip out, and dropped down next to him.

"I think I know why we never had sex on the kitchen floor before," John said, feeling the rawness of his knees.

"I'm usually sensible enough to resist your wily ways until I can drag you to bed," Rodney said.

"Or you just fuck me over the counter," John pointed out.

"God, yes, I love fucking you over the counter," Rodney said.

John turned on his side and looked at Rodney. "You can," he said.

"Not right now," Rodney commented, with a look at his soft dick.

John snorted. "No, but later and next week and next month. Next _year_ ," he added meaningfully. "Even next _decade_."

"That's the plan," Rodney said, struggling to turn on his side as well. "Did I mention ouch?"

John laughed. "I'll kiss it better."

Rodney smiled at him.

"I love you," John said without hesitation or reservation or thought about anything other than lying here next to the man he loved after sex that might have been unwise, but had been necessary.

"I love you too," Rodney answered, twining his fingers with John's.


	3. Book III: The Council's Decision

The Council building was in the center of Atlantia. The large marble columns looked very imposing, and John wondered if people were _supposed_ to feel small and powerless when they entered.

Rodney's request to marry John had been denied, but he'd expected that. His preparation had been for an appeal to the Council, which had the last word in all administrative matters in Atlantia. The Council member that would hear and decide their case was a Mr. Richard Woolsey.

Rodney said that he was rumored to be 'by the book', though they weren't sure if that would be good or bad in their case.

The room for their hearing was one of the smaller ones, but it still had several rows of benches for the public, though they were almost completely empty. Jeannie and Miss Keller had come to support them. Dr. McKay had to work, but he had wished them good luck.

John hadn't been present when Rodney had informed his father of his plans, but he wasn't surprised that Dr. McKay hadn't changed his mind even after hearing the reason for Rodney's refusal to marry Miss Keller—or any other woman.

Graham and a few of Rodney's—hopefully—future colleagues had also come to witness the appeal. Just before the official hearing began, Drake and David came through the door and took a seat apart from the others.

"What is he _doing_ here?" Rodney hissed at John. "Even if my appeal is denied, he'll _never_ have you."

John put a hand on his thigh and squeezed it. "Just concentrate on your arguments."

Rodney took a deep breath. "Right."

Mr. Woolsey entered and sat down behind the bench. "We're here to discuss an appeal to request MC-8741447." He looked at Rodney and John, who sat behind one of the desks in front of Woolsey. "You are Rodney McKay, son of Dr. Andrew McKay?"

"Yes, your honor," Rodney said, standing up.

"You've filed a claim for marriage to your body servant, John, which was promptly—and correctly—denied because the rules of the Courting Day specifically say that claims for marriage are to be registered by Atlantean gentlemen below the age of twenty-one for and with the consent of Atlantean gentlewomen," Woolsey said, reading from his papers.

"Uhm," Rodney said, "My claim for marriage _was_ denied, however, I postulate that the decision was _incorrect_ , which is why I appealed to the Council."

"Which part exactly do you think was incorrect?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"Right," Rodney said, gathering his papers and, it seemed, his self confidence. "Your honor, I'm here to show that throughout history, marriage claims outside of the construct of Courting Day have been made and granted. The last case was at the beginning of the year when Mr. Joseph Felton made a claim for Mrs. Honor Shipman. Two years ago Mr. Robert Foster successfully claimed Mrs. Jane Bryerson. Six years ago—"

"May I interrupt you?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"Of course, your honor," Rodney said.

"I am sure you can cite many more such cases. However, I do not see the relevance to your case. I'm only personally familiar with Mr. Foster's claim but I know for a fact that he is well over twenty-one, as I suspect is the case for _all_ the gentlemen whose successful claims you were going to cite," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Uhm, yes, your honor, I believe that is the case. The point I want to make is a different one," Rodney said.

"And I will repeat that if the gentlemen whose cases you cite were over the age of twenty-one at the time of their claim, their cases aren't relevant to yours. It is specifically your age that determines that Courting Day ordinances need to be applied," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Oh, I understand your concern now, your honor," Rodney said.

"I'm glad to hear it," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Your honor, I concede that at the age of twenty the Courting Day ordinances apply to me," Rodney said. "However, I would like to submit that I am not going to marry within the months leading up to my twenty-first birthday. I officially dissolved my engagement to Miss Keller prior to making my claim for John. If the official records don't reflect that change yet, Miss Keller would be happy to confirm the dissolution of my claim. I would like to ask you to hear my case as if it were made the day after my twenty-first birthday, and I will accept your ruling as applying from that day."

Mr. Woolsey looked at Rodney for a long moment. John feared that this would be as far as they'd get today, with Rodney being refused permission to present his case. They could return after Rodney's twenty-first birthday, of course. But John would love to put this behind him.

The last days had been full of hope and uncertainty, and just like Rodney, John wanted to finally start living together without fearing the future.

"I will let you proceed for now," Mr. Woolsey eventually said.

"Yes!" Rodney said to himself, clenching his fist. Mr. Woolsey raised an eyebrow, but John only smiled indulgently at Rodney. This wasn't easy for Rodney. He was sure that he was right, but unlike his usual behavior, he had to watch his words because even a single insult could mean being dismissed and losing the case. "Thank you, your honor."

"Let's move beyond the age issue then," Mr. Woolsey prompted.

"Yes, your honor, I was going to get to that. The point I was going to make is that, in marriage claims that are made outside of Courting Days, the Courting Day ordinances for claims don't apply. However, I'm glad to see that you already conceded that point, your honor," Rodney said.

"I do concede that the ordinances for Courting Day are meant for gentlemen under the age of twenty-one. However, I can't help but notice that one of the cases you cited was the claim of a widowed gentleman for a widowed lady. I believe _most_ marriage claims outside of Courting Day are of widowers for widows. And I do hope that _you_ will concede that you and your body servant are neither one nor the other," Mr. Woolsey said.

A chuckle came from behind him but John concentrated on Rodney, who promptly gave his answer. "Yes, your honor. It's true that the vast majority of marriage claims outside of Courting Days are between widowed persons; however, not all of them are. Oh, and for the sake of completeness and for the record, I would like to cite the ordinance that governs these claims. It says, 'Marriage claims outside of Courting Days may be brought to the administration of Atlantia and are approved or denied under guidance of the Council.' As you can see, there aren't any further requirements cited."

"That's true," Mr. Woolsey said. "But the 'guidance' you cite has been that requests by widowers to marry a widow should be granted if there are no circumstances that would speak against it. I'm not aware of the same for young masters who wish to marry their body servants. Or does your list of cases include such a scenario?"

Rodney gulped. "Not directly," he said. "However, I hope you will let me show that in the history of the Council's decisions, which comprise the guidance for marriage claims, there is indeed precedence for my claim."

"Go on," Mr. Woolsey said.

"You are correct that there is no record of a master claiming his body servant in marriage, at least none that I could find. But there are several cases of a gentleman claiming a servant as his wife. I'm sure you are aware of at least one of them since it was so highly publicized," Rodney said.

"You mean Mr. Bergstrom's claim for his wife," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Exactly. The case is well-known in Atlantia. However, it is not the only case of a successful claim for a servant," Rodney said. "Ten years before the claim by Mr. Bergstrom—" Rodney stopped when Mr. Woolsey held up his hand.

"Are you going to start citing a list of cases again?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"I wanted to illustrate that there have been several cases in the Council's history where servants have been successfully claimed by their masters," Rodney said.

"I appreciate your thoroughness. Though, to keep the length of this hearing manageable, I'd be interested to know if any of the servants claimed by their masters were male," Mr. Woolsey said.

"No, they were not," Rodney conceded.

"That was what I suspected," Mr. Woolsey said.

"However, I do have a claim by a gentleman for another gentleman," Rodney said, lifting his chin.

Mr. Woolsey seemed surprised. "You do? Can you cite the number of the request?"

"Yes, your honor. I have a copy of the official record," Rodney said, lifting a piece of paper.

"Could I see it, please?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

Rodney stepped up to the bench and gave Mr. Woolsey the paper before returning to his desk. He gave John a nervous smile on his way back. John smiled back encouragingly. He couldn't tell if things were going well for them, but he still had hope.

Mr. Woolsey skimmed over the record, frowning. Finally, he looked up. "Mr. McKay, this case is almost one hundred and fifty years old," he pointed out.

"That is true, however, the marriage claim rule that I cited earlier dates from even further back and the ordinance hasn't changed. This record can and should be seen as part of the guidance the Council offered," Rodney said.

The whole room was quiet as Mr. Woolsey took this in. This was the essence of Rodney's argument, an obscure old case that nobody had ever heard of. The question was whether Mr. Woolsey would consider it binding.

"Am I correct in assuming that this is the _only_ case in which a man has successfully claimed another man that you could find?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

Rodney swallowed. "Yes, your honor."

"And what do you make of that?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"I beg your pardon?" Rodney said.

"You've apparently studied our records of marriage claims very thoroughly, and yet you only managed to unearth a single marriage claim between two men. Don't you think there is a reason for that? Specifically, don't you think one could infer from that that the Council _doesn't_ consider it a guiding rule to be applied in other cases?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"No, your honor, I don't think you can infer that," Rodney disagreed. "It could simply be that no other gentlemen have tried to make a claim for another man."

"Or it could be that _all_ other such claims have failed, thus forming a clear guideline," Mr. Woolsey said.

Rodney paled. "There is no public record of unsuccessful claims. I made my assumptions based on my knowledge."

"I'm sure you did, Mr. McKay. I merely wanted to point out that your conclusion isn't the only one that can be drawn," Mr. Woolsey said.

" _Can_ be drawn?" Rodney repeated with a frown. "Your honor, if I may be bold, do you have access to or knowledge of unofficial or unpublished guidelines concerning marriage claims?"

"No, Mr. McKay, as far as I'm aware the administrators—and the Council members for that matter—operate on the same public record that you accessed," Mr. Woolsey said. Rodney exhaled in relief. " _And_ their own experience in interpreting the intent of an ordinance," Mr. Woolsey continued. "I commend you for finding actual precedent for a marriage claim between two gentlemen. However, I think it's the other cases you cited that answer the question of how marriage claims should be decided. Specifically, I'd like to ask you if any of those cases involve a servant who was _not_ the mother of her master's child or pregnant by him."

"Not that I'm aware of, your honor," Rodney conceded.

"That's what I thought," Mr. Woolsey said. "I think it is quite clear that the explicit rules for Courting Day and the guidance that the Council has offered over the years have one and the same goal: to guarantee the future of Atlantia by encouraging unions between men and women that result in children."

"Your honor, I will not disagree that this is one of the goals—maybe even the main goal—of the Atlantean ordinances governing marriage. However, I would like to point out that it is by no means the only one, nor is the result desired by this goal necessary. If you'll allow, I'll try to explain my reasoning," Rodney said.

"Go ahead," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Since the inception of Courting Day, the marriage claim has _always_ involved an element of choice. I don't think there's any dispute that this is a good thing. However, if an argument is made that the _only_ reason for marriage is procreation, marriages could easily be decided by pure chance since any two participants could facilitate conception of a child. Of course, it seems entirely absurd to randomly assign husbands and wives. In fact, as time has gone on, choice by the participants has been given _more_ weight. The additional ordinance requiring the consent of the gentlewoman who is claimed shows not only the growing recognition of women as equal to men, but also recognizes that marriage should be based on a relationship of mutual respect, support, and love. We have moved away from marrying off young men and women before they have even met, to encouraging the formation of true partnerships. That these partnerships also often result in children is not a requirement."

"It is true that we do not police whether or not a married couple has children. However, the ordinances exist to encourage the best possibility that children will be produced," Mr. Woolsey said.

"That may be the case, but we also do not keep anyone from participating if they _know_ they can't conceive a child. I'm not intimately familiar with the cases, and I cannot—and would not—betray any confidences, but I can say that medicine has advanced to the point where certain cases of infertility can easily be diagnosed. I'm not a medical scientist, but Miss Keller would gladly answer any specific questions," Rodney said.

"I don't think that's necessary," Mr. Woolsey said.

"So to reiterate my point, the ability to conceive children is not necessary to being allowed to make a marriage claim, so I do not think the Council can justify applying a requirement to _my_ request that doesn't exist for others. The Council also has several recorded instances of allowing a master to claim a servant for marriage. I should point out that none of those marriages resulted in the servant achieving the status of gentlewoman of Atlantia. I don't expect my claim to be any different. I do not ask for John to become a gentleman as the laws of Atlantia define one, I only wish to marry him."

"Mr. McKay, I have to admit you've made a convincing case of why I _could_ grant your request," Mr. Woolsey said. "However, I'm not sure that I _should_. I still believe that the spirit of the law is that we want young gentlemen to choose a wife and have a family. And I've seen in your record that you _have_ claimed a woman on previous Courting Days. In fact you have claimed two, Miss Keller and Miss Brown. Don't you think that denying your request would persuade you to renew one of your previous claims, should that be possible, or find someone else to claim?"

Rodney stood stone-faced and didn't say anything for a moment. "Your honor, I will be frank with you. My situation may force me to take a wife, should you deny my request. However, I would not wish to treat her as my life partner, nor would I enter into any relations that could result in conceiving a child with her. So the result of your decision would be that a gentlewoman who could otherwise find a partner to have a family with, would instead end up without children and married only on paper. This is not what I or the gentlewoman would wish, and I'm quite sure that it would not be in the spirit of the law either. So I respectfully submit that, in my particular case, the spirit of the law would be served best if my appeal were granted."

Mr. Woolsey nodded. "Is there any other argument you'd like to make?"

"No, your honor," Rodney said. He dropped his gaze and sat down.

"Well, then I'll—" Mr. Woolsey stopped. "Yes?" he asked, looking past Rodney.

John and Rodney turned around. Drake had stood up and approached the bench.

"Your honor, if I may speak?" he asked.

Rodney stood up again, looking panicked, "Your honor, I do not see what Mr. Berenson could contribute to the hearing."

John put his hand on Rodney's arm, trying to calm him down.

"I'm sure he'll tell us in a moment," Mr. Woolsey said.

"But your honor—" Rodney began only to be sharply interrupted by Mr. Woolsey.

"Mr. McKay, I asked you if you had anything more to say and you declined. I think I've been very generous in letting you proceed, and now I'd like to hear what Mr. Berenson here has to say."

"Rodney, it's okay," John whispered. He knew that Rodney didn't trust Drake but John didn't think that Drake could make anything worse at this point. And honestly, John didn't think that he would _want_ to.

"My name is Drake Berenson, son of Stephen Berenson. I would like to speak in support of Mr. McKay's request," Drake said.

Mr. Woolsey gave Rodney a pointed look. "Would you like to sit down now and let Mr. Berenson speak?" he asked.

"Uhm," Rodney said. John pulled Rodney down by his arm, making him sit.

"What would you like to say, Mr. Berenson?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

"Mr. McKay failed to mention one thing which I think is important. He and John love each other," Drake said.

Rodney covered his eyes with one hand. John gently hit him with one foot.

Drake watched the exchange and frowned. "I know that being in love is not a requirement to claim someone on Courting Day," Drake went on. "And I know that some have tried to argue that Courting Days should be abandoned and people should only marry out of love, which you obviously don't agree with."

"Not helping," Rodney sing-songed quietly. John shushed him.

"What I'm trying to say is, if two people have found each other and aren't just _willing_ to spend their life together, but desperately _want_ to do it because they can't imagine being apart, I think it would be cruel not to grant that wish if it is in your power," Drake said.

Mr. Woolsey took that in before speaking again. "Do you wish to add anything?"

"No, your honor," Drake said. "Thank you." He turned and looked at John, then went to sit down again.

"I think I've heard enough," Mr. Woolsey said. "Before I make a decision, I'd like to collect my thoughts and review the facts. Please return this afternoon at four to hear my decision." He stood up and left the room.

John turned to Rodney and took his hand.

"Soon we'll know," Rodney said.

John wished he could say that he was confident their request would be granted, but he wasn't. So he only nodded.

In a few hours they'd know.

~~

After eating a quick late lunch, neither Rodney nor John could concentrate on doing anything productive. They were even too distracted to have sex, so eventually they settled down in the living room, and John read from a book of humorous poems with science puns. Rodney didn't comment half as much as he usually did, but John didn't mind.

Eventually it was time to return to the Council building. Before they left, Rodney stopped John.

"I want you to know that no matter what the decision is, we'll be together. If I have to, I'll find someone who'll agree to marry me without actually being my wife. Jennifer said she's sure there are women who'd be happy to be allowed to work and not have children. The living arrangements will be more difficult, but I'm sure that there is someone out there who'd—"

"Rodney," John stopped him. "We haven't lost yet."

Rodney looked at him. "Right. Of course, we haven't. I just wanted you to know."

John smiled at him. "I _do_ know. Thank you. But we really should go now. We don't want to be late."

They made it back in time before Mr. Woolsey entered the room. John couldn't read from his face what his decision would be, but he still hoped it would be in their favor.

"This wasn't an easy decision to make," Mr. Woolsey began. "You've done an admirable job of compiling your evidence, Mr. McKay. You have shown that there is indeed enough precedence to grant your request."

Rodney took John's hand, and John squeezed it. The way Mr. Woolsey had started, it sounded as if there was a 'but' coming.

"However," Mr. Woolsey continued, "I also have to consider that my decision could serve as further guidance for new cases. In that light, and considering that even _you_ have acknowledged that the primary goal of our rules related to marriage is to foster relationships which will produce families, it would seem counterproductive to grant a request that precludes that primary goal from the onset."

Rodney glanced towards John, disappointment etched on his face.

"Then there is Mr. Berenson's brief statement," Mr. Woolsey continued.

Rodney looked at John, his disappointment relaxing slightly. John didn't quite dare to hope that Drake's words could turn around what sounded like a lost case.

"It was very interesting to me, Mr. McKay, that you didn't appeal to me by proclaiming your love for the man you wish to marry. Seeing your reaction to Mr. Berenson's statement, I think I know why you didn't use love as one of your arguments. You believe that because love is used to argue against all the rules that the Council has imposed on marriage, making your case based on love would be akin to asking for an exception to the rules because you don't believe in them in the first place. Such a path of argument would indeed be questionable, however, I can assure you that in and of itself, the fact that you appear to love your body servant would not have been seen as any disrespect to the Council and its rules. Love is, after all, considered a noble goal, and Courting Days have never been meant to discourage love, but rather to channel it into a structure that will most benefit society."

Rodney stood up. "Your honor."

"Yes, Mr. McKay?"

"I... You are correct that I chose not to base my case on my feelings for John because the Council has made its opinion on abandoning the tradition of Courting Days and their related ordinances quite clear. However, since you acknowledge that love is an important factor of marriage, I would like to expound on that," Rodney said.

"Go ahead, Mr. McKay, but please keep in mind that I think we'd all like to be home for dinner at some stage tonight."

"Of course, your honor. I only wish to say that my decision to ask to marry John is based on my feelings of love for him. I'll freely admit that unlike some others, I never saw marriage as one of the major goals in life. I did accept it as something I'd have to do, but I didn't necessarily look forward to it. Despite my lack of enthusiasm, I was prepared to honor the rules of Atlantia surrounding marriage by choosing a wife. And then I met John."

John looked at him and swallowed. He remembered how Rodney had sat on a bench at Pre-Selection, scribbling away busily because choosing a body servant in training was probably as much of a nuisance as choosing a wife.

"I selected John as my body servant before I ever set eyes on him. I made a purely practical decision to select whoever was best in math class. But then I saw him and...well, as Mr. Berenson would surely be willing to attest, John is the kind of man who can inspire fantasies in young men whose hormones are waiting to be channeled into action. If you are inclined towards men, that is," Rodney amended.

"I understand, Mr. McKay. I don't believe you need to go into any further detail," Mr. Woolsey said.

Rodney flushed. "In the beginning I only felt a superficial attraction, and I hoped that John would prove to be useful in assisting me in my work. In his training, John managed to far surpass my expectations. He proved able to learn rather quickly and to apply his new knowledge. Apart from that, it turned out that we shared an interest in science fiction and a compatible sense of humor. Your honor, I have never made friends easily and it never particularly concerned me, but in the two years of John's training he became a good friend." Rodney looked over to where John was sitting and smiled at him.

John smiled back. He never wanted to be apart from Rodney again but he remembered fondly how they'd grown closer through their exchange of letters.

"By the time we moved in together, I was already convinced that I couldn't ask for a more fitting companion. John is an invaluable assistant, who documents my work and who allows me to test out my ideas. In the time when we don't work, we exchange thoughts on books we both read, play chess, or simply share ideas about anything that comes to mind, whether fantastic or even silly. If I could choose one person in the world to come home to after work, it would be John. Apart from that," Rodney went on, hesitating for a moment and flushing. "I know your honor doesn't want any details, but I cannot talk about my feelings for John without mentioning the depth of our intimacy. Being with John is breathtaking for me. I had never hoped or imagined that sexual intimacy could be so intense or so light-hearted."

John swallowed. He was touched and slightly embarrassed by what Rodney was putting on the official record with his statement.

"I could go on about the reasons why I cannot accept sharing my life with anyone but John. I haven't even mentioned his cooking. But the simple truth is that John is more to me than I ever expected to find in a wife, body servant, colleague, and friend combined. I love him as I could never love anyone else. I love him more than I thought I was capable of loving someone." Rodney turned to John and took his hand.

John could only weakly squeeze it. He felt choked up with emotion.

"Thank you, Mr. McKay for expounding on this matter. I believe it makes the record much more complete. John?"

John was surprised to hear himself addressed. So surprised in fact, that he didn't answer until Rodney sat down and pushed him to stand up. "Uhm, yes, your honor?"

Mr. Woolsey smiled at him. "I know that it is unusual for the Council to hear the opinion of a servant. However, I wanted to give you a chance to make a statement if you wish."

John felt really thrown for a loop. Rodney had assured him his only part in this would be to silently support him. "Uhm, no, your honor."

"Very well then," Mr. Woolsey said.

"Wait," John said. "I'd...I'd like to state that I love Rodney too. Mr. McKay I mean."

Rodney gave him a fond smile.

"Is there anything else you'd like to say?" Mr. Woolsey asked.

There were many things that John could say about how he'd expected his life to turn out and how Rodney had changed everything. But this wasn't the place. "No, your honor," he said.

Mr. Woolsey nodded, and John sat down again. "Then I'll officially announce my decision now."

John took Rodney's hand, silently chanting, _please, please, please._

"The Council's official position and continuing guidance is to support the formation of families. I would like to make it clear for the record that this hasn't changed. However, given the facts in this case, it seems clear that whatever the ordinances of Atlantia attempt to achieve, they have not managed to persuade Mr. McKay to find a wife for the purpose of having children and will not do so in the future. Given that the major goal of marriage will not be achieved no matter how I decide, I will agree with Mr. Berenson that it seems cruel to withhold a permission that I am free to grant based on Mr. McKay's excellent research. Mr. McKay, the Council hereby grants you permission to marry your body servant John no sooner than the day of your twenty-first birthday."

Rodney's mouth opened but no sound escaped. John didn't know what to say either. They'd be allowed to get married. Rodney would be able to work and publish, and John would be able to stay with him as his official partner. It seemed unreal.

"Thank you, your honor," Rodney said when he found his voice. "For making the right decision."

"I do hope, Mr. McKay, that you will not take my generosity as license to make further requests to bend the details of Atlantean law," Mr. Woolsey said with mild warning in his voice.

"I'll try not to, your honor," Rodney said.

"Very well. I officially declare the hearing over," Mr. Woolsey said, before getting up and leaving.

Jeannie and Miss Keller came towards them with congratulations. While Miss Keller hugged Rodney, Jeannie pulled John into her arms. "I'm so happy that my brother will have someone I know can put up with him."

John laughed. While Jeannie went on to her brother, Miss Keller approached John. "I'm so happy for you. And I'm sorry for whatever distress I may have caused you. Rodney had assured me that you knew that our relationship wasn't real."

"Uhm, yes, he did, I just..." John trailed off.

"It doesn't matter now. What matters is that the two of you will be allowed to get married. I could never have gone through with it even if I wasn't secretly engaged. While I enjoy Rodney's friendship, I wouldn't have the patience to be his wife," Miss Keller said.

"It's not a hardship to me," John assured her.

"Which is what makes you so perfect for each other," Miss Keller said.

She stepped aside and John looked towards Graham, who gave him a wave and a wide smile. John smiled back and out of the corner of his eye caught movement at the door. He turned and saw Drake looking back at him for a moment before disappearing with David.

John quickly excused himself and ran after Drake.

"Mr. Berenson?" he shouted down the hall.

Drake stopped and turned around. David walked on and stopped a bit further away, giving them some privacy even though he could still see them.

"Thank you," John said.

"You're welcome, John. I didn't think I'd ever have the chance to offer you something that you couldn't refuse, so I took it," Drake said.

John ignored the flippant words. "I will always be grateful for your help. You didn't have to do this, but you did, even when Rodney tried to stop you from speaking. I haven't always held you in the highest regard," he said, making Drake snort. "But with this act you have earned my respect. I'll never be able to thank you enough." After a moment, he added, "Drake."

Drake's eyes widened for a moment. "If you _did_ want to repay me—"

"No," John immediately said.

Drake smiled. "I had to try," he said. His smile turned bittersweet. "Even if I know that the answer will never be yes."

"I'm sorry," John said. "Though, I think you should know that I'm not what you expect."

Drake raised an eyebrow.

"You don't even know me," John said. "I frequently refuse to listen to Rodney and insist on doing things my own way. You might think that having me as your...as yours would be a wish come true, but I'm almost certain that you would very soon grow tired of me or impatient with me and wish for David's companionship."

"I never meant to replace David," Drake said. "He wouldn't mind if you joined us, though."

"Oh," John said, looking over to David, who still watched them. Apparently, Drake had stopped pining after John at some point in the last years, which was a good thing and nothing to have a wounded ego about. "I'm very happy with Rodney, as you know. He gives me all that I could wish for in a partner."

"I know," Drake said. "And I should take the opportunity to thank you too. I was disappointed when David first thanked me for 'my' gift but I decided not to tell him the truth. It occurred to me that he deserved it as much as you, for what he had already done for me. At this point I couldn't imagine my life without him. I'm not ready to take the same step that your master took today, but thankfully I won't have to."

"Rest assured that if you were to make a claim for him, we'd be happy to speak in support of you," John said.

"'We'?" Drake asked.

"Well, Rodney might not be ready to admit that his evaluation of your character needs to be adjusted, but I won't hesitate to remind him of what you did for us if he hasn't already changed his mind about you," John said.

"Don't waste your time," Drake said. "I only ever cared what _you_ thought of me."

John didn't quite know what to say to that.

"And here he comes, looking as suspicious as ever when it comes to me," Drake said, looking over John's shoulder. "Goodbye, John."

"Goodbye, Drake. And thank you again." Looking past Drake, John called, "Goodbye, David."

David acknowledged him with a nod, and they both left while Rodney came to a stop next to John. "Please tell me that he didn't just proposition you."

John didn't think it was necessary to share that particular part of the conversation, especially since Drake seemed to have been well aware what the answer would be, but he also didn't want to lie to Rodney.

Rodney pre-empted John's answer by saying, "I can't believe the man! You're _engaged_ to me now. If he ever has the nerve to come near you again—"

"Rodney," John said, putting a hand on his arm. "I'd like to invite him and David to our wedding."

"What?" Rodney snapped.

"How do you think Mr. Woolsey would have decided if Drake hadn't spoken?" John asked.

"So he's 'Drake' now too?" Rodney asked.

John laughed at Rodney's obvious jealousy and took his face in his hands. "Do you think I'd do anything to risk the chance to marry you and stay with you for the rest of my life?" he asked.

"Well, I _hope_ not," Rodney said huffily.

"I love you and nobody else. But that doesn't mean I can't be grateful to others for what they did. You were grateful enough to Miss Keller to kiss her," John reminded him.

"Please tell me you didn't kiss Berenson," Rodney said, going pale.

"No, I didn't and I won't," John said.

Rodney sighed in relief. "Well, if you _must_ invite him," he said.

" _We_ must invite him," John said. "Without him we might not have been able to marry at all."

"Yes," Rodney grudgingly conceded. Then he sighed. "I can't believe we'll have to wait until my twenty-first birthday to get married. I'd hoped I could start working next month."

John smiled. "What's a few more months?"

Rodney harrumphed.

~~

Even though he wouldn't be allowed to officially start working at the McKay Laboratories until he got married, Rodney started planning his first projects and was already calling meetings at their home.

Other than that, their daily lives weren't very different from before. Mr. Woolsey sent over the official orders, outlining the exact rules that John would have to follow in the unique status that he was about to obtain as servant and husband to a gentleman.

He would be allowed to wear the clothes of a gentleman when he accompanied Rodney in public. He would also finally be allowed to sit next to him in the theater. There were other rules, regulating what would happen after Rodney's death, but John didn't really want to think about that. He wasn't interested in Rodney's inheritance. His only goal had been to be allowed to stay at Rodney's side.

On the day of their wedding, Rodney's father pulled John aside. "I have already told Rodney this, but I also wanted to say it to you in person," Dr. McKay began. "I want you to know that my insistence that Rodney be married before he started working for our family business was never meant as punishment. I have always prided myself in hiring our scientists based on merit, not favoritism. I was among the first in Atlantia to hire women, because I saw no good reason to exclude them. Rodney's mother would have made a wonderful scientist, but she was never allowed to pursue science as a career. My goal has always been to treat all my employees uniformly. I couldn't break the rules for Rodney. I had to ask of him what I ask of _all_ of my employees."

"I thought as much, Dr. McKay," John said.

"Please call me Andrew," Dr. McKay said. "You will soon be my son-in-law. I won't pretend that I haven't wished that my son had chosen a wife and had a family. Miss Keller would have made—" he stopped himself. "I'm sure she'll make a wonderful wife, but all things considered I can see that she couldn't have made Rodney _happy_. Even though it might not seem that way, I do want both of my children to be happy when they grow up."

"So do I," John said.

The wedding was small. Having his son marry his body servant wasn't necessarily something that a prominent member of the Atlantean community wanted to publicize to the world, even if he accepted it. John and Rodney hadn't wanted a big event either. The act of getting married was what made it significant in their minds, and they had as many guests as had come to the Council hearing that had made it all possible.

Drake had accepted the invitation and was there with David. To John's surprise, Rodney had been quite civil to him. Maybe the fact that he would finally officially claim John in marriage made him more relaxed when it came to Drake. Graham had brought Suzanne as his guest, and Miss Keller had come with her fiancé.

John's only regret was that his brother couldn't be here. He'd been chosen as a body servant in training by a friend of Graham's master, and it appeared that he was training to assist in his master's business—and nothing else. John was relieved to hear it, even though his own more intimate training had been very fulfilling. He wouldn't wish it on his brother, however, who might not have the same inclinations.

They exchanged the traditional Atlantean vows and were pronounced married on the afternoon of Rodney's twenty-first birthday.

Rodney joked that at least he would never forget his wedding anniversary.

That evening, when they entered their bedroom, John mused that nothing had really changed for them since the day before. But at the same time it _felt_ different when Rodney came close and took his hand. Up until this moment, even the knowledge that they would be allowed to marry hadn't completely wiped away the doubts in John's mind.

A part of him had continued to fear that the life that he'd grown to love so much could be over in an instant.

Now that he had Rodney's ring on his finger and they were officially husbands, John finally felt that this couldn't easily be taken from him. He felt more in control of his life than he had ever imagined, and it was as if something unknotted in his chest and finally let go, leaving him freer than he'd ever been.

Rodney took his hand, pulling it close. He took the pendant on John's wrist in his hand. "I think I should remove this now," he said.

Strangely, John felt reluctant. The reluctance must have shown on his face.

"You want to keep it?" Rodney asked.

"I'm still your body servant," John said. Rodney's father had offered to send over one of his servants after they'd been granted permission to marry, and Rodney himself had pointed out that they would be able to afford a servant once Rodney began working, but John had declined. He'd start working as Rodney's assistant and see if he could still keep up with his household chores. Taking care of their home had never been a burden to John, and as long as it wasn't, he wanted to fulfill this duty himself.

"You're my _husband_ ," Rodney said.

"I'm _both_ ," John corrected. "When you first put it on me you asked me not to see it as a sign of ownership, but rather as protection. And that's what I did."

"You'll be even more protected now that you're my husband," Rodney pointed out.

"I know," John said. "I want to wear it, Rodney. I...I've always felt it was a reminder that I'm yours. Not your servant because I had no choice, but at your service because that's what I wanted."

Rodney looked at him, visibly touched. "And I'm at yours," he said. He cupped John's face and kissed him deeply. Eventually they moved apart. "Though it would probably be better for both of us if you kept cooking," Rodney said wryly.

John laughed. He wouldn't have it any other way.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [At Your Service (the mix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/535072) by [verity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/verity/pseuds/verity)
  * [Illustrations for 'At Your Service'](https://archiveofourown.org/works/527703) by [mific](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mific/pseuds/mific)




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